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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385648">Watercolors</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdgirl90/pseuds/Birdgirl90'>Birdgirl90</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Marvel Reader Inserts [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Darcy is your bff for life, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff Fic, Loki is fun to write, Reader Insert, a little cheese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:09:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>46,492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27385648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdgirl90/pseuds/Birdgirl90</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is an artist who is down on her luck.  When her friend Darcy calls with an offer of a new place to stay, it almost sounds too good to be true.  The catch?  Darcy also lives with a genius and two unpredictable gods.<br/>Just a fluffy fun fic in the midst of some dark times we live in.<br/>2020 NaNoWriMo project.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Loki/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Marvel Reader Inserts [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1135457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>719</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey all!<br/>So, okay, I started a new fic this month. I always try to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) but I usually have trouble finding something I enjoy writing. This fic was thought of two days before the start of the month and I am loving writing it, which means it will be finished and fully publishable after November ends.<br/>I was going to wait until after November to publish this, but I want to throw the first chapter out there to see if there's interest in it.<br/>What you can expect in this fic: lots of fluff, a bit of cheese, some smut, and just a fun read. If I had to classify it, I would say it's a bit of a slice of life fic. I'm writing this because times are dark and it's the fic I need, and I hope you like it as well.<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Please?  You won’t even have to pay rent, I swear!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darcy Lewis’ voice chirps hopefully through the speaker of the phone pressed between your shoulder and ear while you make tea in your small studio apartment.  There are papers on the counter and the trash needs to be taken out, and you just can’t get yourself motivated to do it.  You sigh and stir the tea once, the spoon clanking on the side of the mug.  Once you set it down, you carry your steaming mug to your beat up couch and settle in, holding the phone with your hand once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, Darce, you live with-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s shouting in the background, a deep voice rumbling words you can’t make out followed by the sound of something being thrown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m on the phone!  Do you mind?” Darcy snaps, and you can make out an apology from who you can only imagine is Thor before Darcy turns her attention back to you.  “Jesus, sorry about that,” she says.  “The guys have been getting on each other’s nerves really badly this week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darcy and you go way back.  You had been dorm mates when you were both in school, her as a ploy sci major, you as an art student.  She had quickly become your best friend and the two of you did all sorts of stuff together - coffee breaks, homework session at the library, you helped her study for her tests and she critiqued your paintings.  Things had changed a bit when you had to drop out of school to take care of your ill mother; Darcy had gone on to graduate and work with the renown Jane Foster.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You would have thought that would have caused you to go your separate ways, but you were completely wrong.  Through it all, you and Darcy stayed in touch.  You heard all about living with Jane and Selvig, about Thor coming to Earth, her take on the battle in London that had covered the news.  When Loki (reformed and redeemed - or so Tony Stark had announced before the topic had been dropped and life returned to normal), and Thor had moved in with her and Jane for what seemed to be the foreseeable future, she had made sure to fill you in on that too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your own life felt very plain compared to hers.  Living in a small town, working at a diner to scrape rent while tending to your mother while you watched her fade was a far cry from working with a genius and demi gods.  But Darcy had never made you feel once like you were boring or beneath her, and maybe that’s part of why you still like her.  She’s golden, through and through, even if she is loud and crass and over enthusiastic at times.  It just seems to compliment your more reserved nature, if you’re being honest.  And every time you’ve needed a shoulder, she’s always been there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things are changing now though.  With your mother gone, you have to admit there really is no reason for you to stay here.  Darcy has been trying for a while now to get you to move in with her and Jane and the two gods under the claim that the house is too big for all of them but really you know it’s because she’s worried about you.  Which brings you back to your phone call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Darce,” you say with a groan.  “I seriously doubt I would fit in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re down on your luck,” Darcy says after a pause.  Her voice is gentle, something not super common for the outspoken woman she is.  “I know things are hard.  Please.  At least consider it.  If you move in with us, you can get a job if you absolutely want to, but you won’t have to.  SHIELD takes good care of us.  And you could go back to art school.  No one here is going to judge you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You chew your lip.  You want to go back to art school, you really do, but it seems so daunting.  You’re older now; there’s a chance you’d be one of the oldest in the classes.  And it’s so expensive - you don’t have that kind of money and scholarships are hard to get.  But maybe she’s right.  Maybe this is a gift horse you need to not look in the mouth.  You’re so remarkably plain compared to gods and geniuses - you’re just you, and you know that, and while that’s never seemed to really matter before, you find yourself wondering how you would even fit in with all the smarts and powers in the house.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darcy seems to be doing just fine, a quiet voice in your mind reminds you.  And she’s not a genius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Darcy is smart, you argue back with yourself.  She knows her stuff, she knows how to negotiate and how to convince people, and she knows who she is.  You’re still trying to figure that out after all these years; a side effect of giving so much of your life to your family, you suppose.  Not that you regret it.  Seeing your mother before she passed a few months ago was hard but knowing you were able to help her suffering even a little made it worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is a one of a kind opportunity.  The thought of being around gods is intimidating, for sure, especially Loki who you really don’t know much about.  Sure, you saw the pictures from the Battle of New York and the damage that he had wrecked.  But he always looked ill in the pictures the news plastered across the screen, and you had a deep feeling that there was more to that story than you would ever hear or know.  People aren’t just good or evil, you theorized, more like shades of grey.  You couldn’t help but wonder what shades of grey he was walking at that time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t the fancy FBI or whatever it is you work for have to approve of this?” you ask, raising an eyebrow though she can’t see it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They already did,” she admits sheepishly.  “I may have asked them before I asked you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That should annoy you, but you’re too preoccupied with the time to really let it sink in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I think about it and get back to you?” you ask Darcy after a moment.  “I have to work in an hour and figure out how to pay rent.  I’m late this month again and I’m stressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Darcy makes a sympathetic noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take all the time you need,” she says.  “The house will still be here.  But I’m telling you, you won’t have to pay rent and you won’t have to worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would want to at least help with groceries,” you admit, giving away that you’ve been thinking about this more than you maybe should be.  “Though I can’t imagine what two gods eat.  I’d want to help around the house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah,” Darcy replies with a laugh.  “We all take nights to cook.  Well, except Thor.  He can’t figure out how to make anything without setting off the smoke alarm.  You’d fit in though.  We’re all just a bunch of weirdos.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let yourself smile at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let me go to work and pay my rent, and then I’ll get back to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok!” Darcy chirps.  “Talk soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When you hang up, you stare at the phone for a long moment before getting up and dumping your now cold tea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***********************************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you know why we’ve called you in,” your boss says with a sad smile and you feel your heart sink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The diner hasn’t been getting the kind of business it used to and you knew lay offs were inevitable - the rumors had been going around for weeks about needing to cut staff - but you had really hoped you were going to be spared.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” you find yourself asking and you hate yourself for it.  “I can work reduced hours and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that,” your boss admits.  “We have to close the whole place down.  We’re filing bankruptcy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So it’s not just you being let go, you realize.  It’s everyone.  Something breaks in you a little as you realize that the diner, a staple in this town especially during tourism season, is going to be lost forever.  It’s a sign of the economy, a sign of tourism drying up, a sign that everything is continually sliding through your fingers.  You nod silently.  Your boss hands you a check; it’s your last one, you assume.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did great here and we loved having you,” he tells you.  “I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” you force yourself to say though really you’re not sure you do.  “I’ll uh, I’ll just be going then.  Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As you walk back to your apartment, you wonder what on earth you’re supposed to do now.  You’re late on rent for the second month in a row because of cut hours; in hindsight, you should have been looking for a new job for a while now.  The overcast sky gives a rumble and you sigh.  It figures that it would get ready to rain now.  Maybe you can beat the storm home.  You pick up your pace a little, but it’s not enough, and by the time you reach your building, it’s raining hard and you’re very wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The final blow to your day though is when you realize there’s a pink flyer taped to your door.  You read it twice, your brain not processing the words as you stand in the cold rain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re being evicted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course you’re being evicted, because what else could go wrong in your shitty life?  You can’t tell if the blurriness in your eyes is from the rain or if you’re crying.  You open the door and let yourself in, and for a moment you just stand there.  What are you going to do?  You have a week to move apparently before they throw you out, and you refuse to be the person with garbage bags full of their belongings strewn across the complex grounds.  You’d rather die than that, which is only a mild exaggeration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A solution hits you.  Even if you don’t fit in, even if the gods are however gods are and Jane is busy doing whatever with Darcy - you know it involves data points and research, but that’s all you’ve been able to get out of Darcy’s explanations - it looks like this is your only choice.  Maybe it won’t be so bad though, you tell yourself.  At least you’ll be living with Darcy again kind of like old times.  And maybe you will be able to go back to school.  It’s a sliver of hope you find yourself clinging to as you pull your phone out of your soaked pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Darcy?  About that offer to move in…”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>So I got a lot more positive feedback on this story than I was expecting, which is awesome and I thank you so much!  So far the story is at nearly 17,000 words and upwards of 10 chapters as of when I'm posting this.<br/>When the story is complete after Thanksgiving, I plan on having a weekly updating schedule.  I'm having a blast writing this and I'm really pleased with where it's going, and I hope you all stick around with me!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“And this is the living room…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy swings her phone around to show you the space over FaceTime.  You have to admit that the house is actually very nice, and much bigger than you would have thought.  It seems she was not exaggerating.  You watch the camera move, and catch movement in the corner.  Before you can ask, a hulking person walks over and you recognize Thor from the pictures Darcy has sent you</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Darcy, do we have any more poptarts?” he asks, his voice deep and loud.  He then seems to realize what she’s doing and comes closer, sticking his face in the camera.  “Is this your friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Darcy says with a laugh, then introduces you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You wave at the camera and offer a smile.  Thor grins at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Darcy has been talking about you for ages now,” he says, still grinning, excitement shining in his blue eyes.  He moves too close and you can’t see anything, then he moves back.  “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.  A friend of Darcy’s is always a friend welcome here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy flips the camera so she’s in the shot too now.  She also grins at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” you say pleasantly.  “I appreciate that.  Darcy is a good friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww, you don’t have to say that,” Darcy says with a face, laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I agree,” Thor says loudly.  He looks over his shoulder.  “Brother!  You should come meet our new roommate!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hear a pained sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d rather not,” a velvety voice says, annoyance laced through it.  “She’ll be here soon enough anyway, I don’t need to talk to her through a screen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor frowns.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t let this taint your impression of him,” Thor says quickly.  “Loki is actually a pretty pleasant person.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy snickers, then looks back at you as Thor leaves the shot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki thinks phones are weird,” she tells you.  “And he’s also in a grumpy mood today.  Consider yourself lucky.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The velvet voice scoffs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch your tongue, mortal,” Loki says off screen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever mischief,” Darcy retorts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t stop the laugh that comes from your lips.  Maybe this is going to be okay.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So when are you coming to help me move?” you ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor and I will be there on Tuesday,” she informs you, and you nod.  You share your goodbyes and hang up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a deep sigh you look around your place, the boxes stacked everywhere and your things mostly packed up.  You walk to the back wall where your canvases and paints are, and start to pack them up carefully.  It feels like a finality and weirdly enough, you find yourself looking forward to the next chapter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>**********************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this the last of it?” Darcy asks as you do a final sweep of your old apartment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think so, yeah,” you confirm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You lock the door and slide the key into an envelope that you clip to the door for the apartment staff to take.  You walk to where Thor is standing by the moving truck.  Loading it was much easier than you expected.  He was able to lift your entire bed by himself, loading it easily.  The rest of your furniture with the exception of your dresser, night stand table, and favorite desk have all been given to goodwill.  The house is furnished; you just have to worry about your room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor gives you a kind smile as you open your car doors.  He’s not allowed to drive, so the agreement was he’ll ride with you in your car while Darcy drives the moving truck.  It’s not too terrible of a drive, 7 hours provided traffic agrees - since you’re leaving fairly late, you expect the roads to mostly be empty - so the idea of making small talk with him doesn’t seem as intimidating as you once would have thought.  As you pull out of the driveway and enter the highway behind the moving truck, you find yourself singing under your breath to the radio.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, Darcy says you paint, is that true?” Thor asks after you’ve been driving for a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say.  “I do sketches and acrylics, but my favorite is watercolor painting.  I sell prints online sometimes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor’s eyes dance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds wonderful,” he tells you.  “The arts were never my strength.  Through school they tried to teach me, because as a prince you have to be able to do a multitude of things, but I never had the patience for it.  Loki though, Loki was always good at that sort of thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you drive, the conversation goes well you think.  Thor recalls stories from his childhood, keeping you entertained as you drive into the early hours of dark.  One thing you notice is how much  he brings Loki up.  It’s clear he adores his brother, and you find yourself trying to see the reformed Avenger through his eyes instead of through the lenses the media always tried to put him under.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you and Loki..close?” you ask after a pause between stories, your curiosity getting the better of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor’s demeanor seems to shift a bit, and if you aren’t mistaken, there is a level of sadness that crosses his face.  He touches his beard for a moment before answering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As children, we were very close,” he tells you.  “But as we grew older, so did a rift between us.  After everything that has transpired, I do not know if Loki will let anyone be close to him again, especially not me.  I was not always kind to him, and I was not always the brother or friend he needed me to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sadness in the words makes your heart ache a little.  You’re an only child, so you can’t imagine what it’s like having a sibling is like, but you do know what it’s like to have a rift with people.  As you think on it, Thor brightens a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That does not mean I won’t stop trying,” he tells you, a bit of himself coming back.  “I’ll work at it as long as it takes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile a little at that, and pull into the house driveway.  You kill the engine and for a moment, you just sit in the car staring up at the victorian style house.  It’s two floors covered in cream paint with brown shutters and a winding iron gate around the front.  It looks like the fanciest place you’ve ever been in your life.  Thor gets out of the car and it shakes you from the fact that your mouth is now dry at the realization that this is your new life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor starts taking boxes inside and you grab your box of art supplies that you don’t trust anyone else to touch and head for the door.  Darcy passes you to get more of your stuff, a little bounce in her step. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch the step!” Darcy calls and you look over your shoulder, still walking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What st-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That step, apparently.  You curse quietly as you drop your box and attempt to catch yourself as you fall.  You end up on your ass regardless and your box of supplies spills over the walkway.  You take a deep breath and take quick stock - nothing is broken on your body, but you’re more worried about your supplies.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, are you okay?” Darcy asks as she hurries over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You brush her off, embarrassed, and try to focus on picking up the tubes of paint that are rolling every which way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, I’m fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You reach for the last paint tube and a pale hand with long graceful fingers beats you to it.  You look up and into the face of an impassive Loki.  He looks different than what you expected.  He’s wearing dark jeans and a dark zippered hoodie, his black hair damp about his shoulders as if he has just stepped out of the shower. On the news, he always looks tired.  The pictures from the invasion showed him to be ill; the interviews with the Avengers where he’s always on the fringes show him bored and with an air of arrogance.  Here he just looks...normal. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though his features seem passive, you get the feeling he’s taking all of you in, appraising you with curious green eyes.  You’re struck frozen for a moment, and you can almost swear a ghost of a smirk graces his lips as he hands you the paint tube.  You take it from him quickly, remembering yourself and that you were just staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” you say quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods and stands up, then offers you a hand wordlessly.  You take it and let him help you to your feet before leaning down to grab your box of supplies.  You notice he’s still watching you and realize you haven’t introduced yourself yet.  You offer a smile and your name, and he gives that ghost of a smile again.  He repeats your name aloud, as if tasting it on his tongue, and you find you like the way he says it way too much for having just met him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki,” he responds in a rich velvet voice.  “I do hope Thor didn’t bore you too much on your drive.  I would have come but I was...otherwise preoccupied.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Jane had him running numbers all night,” Darcy says as she walks past with a box of your belongings.  “His brain is the only one to actually understand what she’s talking about when she gets on a rant.  He’s just saying that to make it sound like he was doing something cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki rolls his eyes as he makes his way to the moving truck to help grab your furniture.  You watch him for a moment, the way he lifts your bedside table easily, then hurry inside before he catches you staring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night, as you try to sleep in your new room in the house, you stare at the ceiling and try to not think of curious green eyes.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>Thank you so much for reading this fluffy little fic!<br/>I'm not sure when the next update will be as it is still very much under construction. I possibly will update next week, but it depends on how it's shaping up by then.  I will have a definite weekly update schedule starting in December though, when the whole thing is finished.<br/>As always, feedback is always appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Welcome to a wonderful Watercolors Wednesday! (Try saying that three times fast, lmao.)<br/>I am so happy with how this story is coming along and I hope you guys keep enjoying it as well.<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You wake up to the warm end of summer sunlight pouring through your window, basking your bedroom in a golden light.  At first you’re a little disoriented as you take in the boxes all around you, but then you remember.  You’ve moved and now you’re in a government owned house with two gods, a genius, and Darcy.  You sit up and stretch, then try to decide what you need to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first stop is the bathroom so you can get dressed.  You pull your clothes out of one of the boxes, just some jeans and a tee, and head down the narrow hall to the bathroom shared by almost everyone on the upper floor of the house.  Thankfully you don’t run into anyone, but you do hear movement downstairs, so you quickly dart into the washroom before anyone knows you’re up.  Why you’re so skittish, you don’t know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After getting cleaned up, you go back to your room and stand in the doorway, taking stock.  It had been very late (or rather early) when you arrived yesterday and there is so much to do.  The large furniture had all been placed where it needed to be thanks to Loki and Thor, but there are so many boxes to unpack.  Well, you decide, food first then settling in.  Then maybe exploring the area around here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You make your way downstairs and sure enough, Darcy and a woman who you assume is Jane are sitting at the kitchen table.  Darcy waves excitedly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re up!” she says and Jane looks up, giving you a kind smile.  “How did you sleep?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty well,” you reply as you look around the smallish kitchen.  “Do you mind if I steal some coffee?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, make yourself at home,” Jane says, motioning around.  “I’m Jane Foster.  We’re very happy to have you here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So everyone keeps telling me that,” you say as you settle down with a mug of coffee at the table with the other two women.  “I do appreciate being here.  Things were getting...not great at home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane hums sympathetically and Darcy sighs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, so, since you’re here, I know you had mentioned wanting to get a job,” Darcy tells you after a moment.  “I meant to talk to you about that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You stir a little bit of sugar in your coffee and tilt your head to the side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I just assumed I would get a job working at maybe one of the restaurants around here or something…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy and Jane exchange a look, then they both look at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, SHIELD kind of decided that if you were going to live here, you’d need to do something for them,” Jane says almost apologetically.  “How good are you with computers?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ah, so that was the catch no one told you about.  You had wondered if there would be one.  After all, nothing comes for free.  You raise an eyebrow at Darcy and she holds her hands up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it was a last minute thing they didn’t tell me about until yesterday morning,” she says defensively.  “But it’s not anything bad!  I swear!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You believe her.  If anything, Darcy is a pretty honest person and if she had known about SHIELD’s offer, she would have told you before you agreed to move into the house.  You smile faintly at her before turning back to Jane.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not bad with them,” you admit quietly.  “But I’m not good with science and that sort of thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane laughed a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing heavy,” she tells you.  “I just need someone to help type my notes up.  It would only be for like two or three hours a day, and SHIELD will pay you for it.  It just saves me some time so that I can focus on other things.  If you don’t mind, that is.  I know things being thrown at you last minute can feel overwhelming, and I’m sorry about that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile at her.  You can already tell she’s a kind woman, though a little scattered based on the papers spread before her; but then again, most of the science people you’ve ever met in your life have been.  Typing notes doesn’t sound bad, and it saves you from the dreaded interview process; you hate putting together resumes and interviewing.  Plus, only a few hours a day means that you’ll still have time to work on your art.  You had started an Etsy shop before everything hit the fan, and you’ve been wanting to try to get it off the ground again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That doesn’t sound awful,” you say, taking a sip of your coffee.  “I don’t mind typing notes.  Plus it means I don’t have to actually try to find work outside of here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane looks pleased at your answer and Darcy grins at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything always works out,” she says, pushing her glasses up her face.  “I am so sorry we had to spring that on you though.  I am really really happy that you’re here.  Now we get to hang out all the time!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh.  She hasn’t changed much except maybe to mature a bit, and you didn’t realize how lonely you had become until this moment.  Something warm fills you.  You glance around the kitchen, slowly feeling more at ease than when you had woken up.  Jane gives you another friendly smile before going back to her paperwork, and you can tell within moments that she is wholly engrossed in what she’s doing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, how does food work here?” you ask after a moment.  “I don’t want to eat something I’m not allowed to have.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you’re allowed free rein to do whatever you want,” Darcy says, waving her hand.  “If something has a name on it, it’s off limits but otherwise, everything is fair game.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She glances at a clock on the wall, then pokes Jane on the shoulder.  Jane makes a mumbled noise of acknowledgment but doesn’t look up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, boss lady, the lab is waiting for us.  Remember we have that call with the science team in 15?” Darcy says, then glances at you.  “I swear, half my job is just remembering to make meetings and making sure Jane eats.  C’mon Jane, we gotta get on the Zoom call in a few.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane looks up at that, then starts shuffling her papers into a slightly messy stack so that she can carry them out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a lab set up in the basement where we normally just work out of,” Jane explains as she stands up.  “Most of the time Thor and Loki just stay up here unless we need them -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mostly Loki,” Darcy interrupts.  “He’s strange but his brain is brilliant.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Jane says.  “Anyway, what I’ll do is bring you my notes and you can either hang out in the basement with us to type them up or you can sit anywhere else.  It’s pretty laid back for a government set up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m actually kind of surprised by that,” you tell her.  “I was expecting men in suits and guns all over the place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, they’re still here,” Jane says wryly.  “They do drive bys and welfare checks about once every two weeks, and when we initially moved in, they had bugged the house.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, is it still bugged?” you ask, suddenly nervous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy shakes her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, we took care of that and they decided to not fight with us on that,” she explains.  “But do expect to see guys in dark SUVs patrolling the neighborhood from time to time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s still better than you expected.  It’s rather nice knowing that you aren’t being watched all the time.  Jane makes her way to the doorway and Darcy stands up to follow her.  She gives you a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should go into town and grab dinner later,” she says.  “If you need anything, we’ll be in the basement.  Dunno what Thor and Loki will be up to, but they shouldn’t give you any trouble.  If they do, come get me.  I know how to wrangle them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod, amused by the thought of tiny Darcy keeping the two huge gods in line.  You watch as they disappear out of the kitchen, then find yourself staring into your coffee as you think.  It doesn’t sound like you’ll really be needed today, so maybe it’s a good time to get yourself acquainted with the house and area.  You finish your coffee and put the mug in the dishwasher, then head out into the main house.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It really is a beautiful house, you admit, with wooden fixtures and hardwood floors.  It’s fairly quiet as you walk around.  When you get to the back door of the house, you hear muffled shouting from the back yard.  You slide the door open and step outside; Thor and Loki are in the grass, and it looks like they’re...fighting?  You watch for a moment as they go at it, until Thor ends up on his ass with Loki above him, one foot on his broad chest.  Thor laughs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well played, brother!” he booms, and Loki steps off him with a sigh, then offers a hand to help him up.  That’s when the golden haired god notices you.  “Ah, lady Y/N!   A pleasure to see you on this fine day.  Would you perhaps like a turn?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort, and Loki is watching you again with those curious eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m not the fighting type, but thank you,” you tell him.  “I have no desire to be thrown around like a rag doll.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor grins at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye, I can understand that,” he says then walks by, making his way to the house.  “A lady should always know how to defend herself,” he adds over his shoulder.  “You should ask Loki to teach you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You look to Loki who shakes his head, though something passes over his face that you can’t quite figure out.  He steps closer to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor can be an oaf sometimes,” he explains in that low voice of his.  “Though should you ever want to learn to throw knives or something, I would be the better teacher of the two of us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile at him, and a faint smile ghosts his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll keep that in mind,” you tell him.  “I unfortunately need to go unpack though.  Maybe another time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki nods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you...like help?” he asks, and you wonder how often he offers his aid for things.  “Or company?  I find myself rather loathing the idea of spending more time with Thor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh, then start walking towards the house.  He keeps pace with you easily while waiting for your answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, if you want,” you say.  “I can’t guarantee it will be interesting though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki just smirks at you and follows you into the house.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Thanks for reading! As always, feedback is great. (I swear, your comments keep me going some days.)<br/>I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'll see you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello Readers!<br/>It is Watercolors Wednesday and I am here with Chapter 4!<br/>I don't know about you, but things have been nerve wracking here. Our COVID cases are spiking where I live to the point where we are close to another mandatory stay at home order. I'm back to only leaving the house when I have to, like for work. Scary times.<br/>So I'm really happy for this story! It's keeping me sane and I hope you guys are still enjoying it as well!!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You don’t have to help me, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’re going through boxes in your new room and Loki is, oddly enough, still interested in keeping you company.  He’s currently standing next to you, handing you books from a box for you to shelve on your old wooden bookcase.  He shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I want to help,” he says as he hands you a few more books.  He glances at one of the titles curiously; it’s a volume of Shakespeare plays that you kept from your English class in college.  “Do you read a lot of what I believe you Midgardians call classic literature?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You take the book and smile a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not too terribly much,” you admit while you stick it on the shelf.  “When I read, which isn’t as much as I would like to be honest, I tend to prefer romances and fantasy.  I do like his plays though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki makes a thoughtful sound and reaches into the bottom of the box.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve read a few of your fantasy books,” he says as he hands you the last few books, a couple of beat up dime store romances you’ve had for years that you always go back to.  “Midgardians can be creative when they want to be.  Though the one who got closest to what the elves are like is Tolkien.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You turn and lean against the bookshelf, appraising him.  He meets your eyes and raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So the elves are real, then,” you say quietly.  “That’s pretty cool.  I’m not overly familiar with mythology, but the fact that some of it is real kind of boggles me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki laughs, a rich sound that fills the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, the things I could show you if I wasn’t stuck on this realm,” he tells you, a smirk on his face.  “You wouldn’t know what to do with it all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d probably just want to draw it,” you admit before moving to another box, this one with sketchbooks and pencils.  “After the initial shock, that is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A thought hits you and you tilt your head curiously at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you on Earth?” you ask after you find the words.  “When you could be anywhere else?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki lets out a short laugh and there is no humor in the sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To atone for my many sins,” he says, moving the empty box out of your way.  “I don’t know if you remember the chaos I caused once to your people, but the Allfather decided that the best fitting punishment would be to be here, helping.  It’s better than a cell, if we’re being honest.  Even if I do find you Midgardians utterly confusing at times.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hum and he regards you for a long moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m surprised you’re not scared of me,” he admits at last.  “Most humans still hold grudges.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shrug, not quite looking at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve always thought there was more to the story than we were being told,” you reply.  “And everyone deserves second chances.  Besides, you’re helping me unpack, how bad can you really be?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, you have no idea,” he says wickedly and the smirk on his face makes your stomach flip for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You focus back on the task at hand, this time taking out your paint brushes, no real response to him, and entirely too aware of how your heart is racing a bit from the way he looked at you.  It’s not fear, though, and that unnerves you a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long have you done art?” Loki asks after a few moments of silence.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He settles on the edge of your bed to watch you while you arrange your pencils in an empty tin can on your desk, mingled with some of your better brushes.  He seems to have realized he made you a little uncomfortable and is trying to redirect.  You’ll let him, happy to move on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh gosh,” you say, tilting your head to the ceiling while you pause to think.  “I’ve always liked to draw and I’ve always liked colors.  I guess I took off with it in high school?  I had a really encouraging teacher who challenged me to be better.  When I went to college and met Darcy, I was taking multiple art classes a semester.  I had wanted to eventually open my own gallery.  That was before…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You trail off, still looking up.  That’s a chapter of your life that you aren’t quite ready to share.  It’s still too fresh, still too new, and you’ve only met Loki just yesterday.  The room is quiet and you get the feeling Loki is watching you.  You let out a breath and look back at him, offering a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Things change,” you tell him simply.  “Though one day, I really would like to maybe have my own gallery.  I just..don’t know how to get there.  I’ll figure it out though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki nods, thoughtful, and then stands up again to help you open another box.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure you will,” he says quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that, it’s like you find yourself drawn to Loki.  He had been pleasant, talking to you about this or that, and letting the silence fill the air when it needed to.  It didn’t feel awkward like you had been expecting; as the day had progressed you found yourself growing more and more comfortable.  When Darcy and Jane emerged from the basement, though, Loki had excused himself and disappeared into his own room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been nearly a week now since that happened, and you keep running into him.  It’s almost like he wants to talk to you, and it kind of baffles you.  After all, you’re just a normal human living in this world of amazing beings.  The fact that a god wants to be around you is kind of amazing.  Today, you’re settled on the couch, sketchbook in hand.  Loki sits across the room from you, apparently engrossed in a book about thermodynamics that Jane had laying around.  How anyone could enjoy that kind of material is a mystery to you, but then again, Loki is pretty brilliant so maybe it’s just light reading to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without really thinking about it, you flip to a blank page in your book.  Loki is beautiful, sitting in the daylight that trickles in through the large windows.  It illuminates the sharpness of his cheekbones and plays with the darkness of his raven wing hair.  You’re transfixed.  He’s like a living sculpture, carved from marble, and in this moment you want nothing more than to capture that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your pencil moves across the page, quickly and without much thought.  You glance up at him periodically, but he has yet to give any indication that he can feel your eyes on him.  That’s for the best, you decide as you continue to try to translate him on your page.  He’d only ask questions and you’re not ready to share this with him.  With anyone really.  There’s art you make for the public that you want to share, and then there is art that is deeply personal, and this falls under deeply personal though you aren’t entirely sure why.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’ve nearly finished when you look up again.  This time, warm green eyes hold yours and you pause, heart in your throat.  Did he know all along that you’ve been drawing him?  A faint flush rises in your cheeks at the realization you’ve just been caught watching him.  A smirk covers his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you working on?” Loki asks, as if he doesn’t know, amusement coloring his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You quickly snap your sketchbook closed and stick the pencil behind your ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” you stammer out.  “Just warm up sketches, you know how it goes.  Gotta keep my form sharp.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki raises an eyebrow, clearly amused by your embarrassment.  He closes his book with a quiet thud and observes you closely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May I see?” he asks after a moment, voice low.  The teasing is gone from his voice, replaced with genuine curiosity.  “I know you were drawing me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh once, nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” you say decisively, standing up.  “You may not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that moment Darcy comes bounding into the room.  Her face lights up when she sees you.  She seems to realize that Loki is also in the room, and glances between you two curiously for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, do you want to grab some dinner?” she asks.  “I’m not interrupting something, am I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” you answer at the same time Loki says “Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You raise an eyebrow at him and the look on his face tells you nothing, though his eyes are sparkling mischievously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okaaaayyy,” Darcy says slowly.  She turns back to you.  “Anyway, do you want to go get dinner?  It’s all you can eat pancakes at the diner and I am starving.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That sounds wonderful,” you tell her.  “Lemme just go get my bag.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You leave the room to grab your things, still feeling Loki’s eyes on your back as you go.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.<br/>As always, comments are welcome, I love hearing your thoughts on the story!<br/>All of you are wonderful and I am so glad you're on this story adventure with me.<br/>See you next week! (:<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello lovely Readers!<br/>It is that wonderful time of the week: Watercolors Wednesday!<br/>Many thanks to LucjaP for look looking over this chapter last week when I was having a moment of self doubt over this story; you are awesome and I appreciate it!<br/>Enjoy the chapter!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s quiet in the house again.  You’ve been sitting on a laptop in the living room for a good two hours now, trying to decipher Jane’s sloppy handwriting.  What was it with smart people and terrible handwriting?  It’s like she has so many ideas in her head that she can’t slow down when she’s writing them out.  You’ve mostly figured it out though, thank goodness.  You don’t understand what any of it means, it goes over your head, but you at least can type it quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane and Darcy have been in their lab for most of the day.  You’re not sure where Loki is, but you’re pretty sure he’s in his room.  That tends to be the place he mostly hangs out in when he’s not reading in the living room.  Thor’s outside doing something involving mjolnir and training.  You haven’t really bothered to check it out, too intent on getting this done so you can move on with your day.  You look up at the clock on the wall and tilt your head from side to side to stretch it.  It’s getting to be mid afternoon and you need to eat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You find yourself wondering if Loki has eaten as you wander into the kitchen.  Maybe you should take him something too?  How does Asgardian biology work anyway?  Did he need to eat?  Thor eats exactly how you would expect a god of thunder to eat: frequently and a lot.  Loki tends to pick at food when he eats.  Maybe he has a sensitive stomach?  Another thought strikes you as you make him a sandwich alongside yours.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why do you care so much?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t really matter, you decide as your feet carry you to Loki’s door.  You stand there for a moment and then knock.  The door swings open and an irritated Loki greets you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Thor, I am not intere-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki freezes when he sees you.  You offer your best smile and hold up the two plates of food.  His expression changes from annoyed to more cautious, then a little softer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, sorry, I just thought maybe you would want lunch and I was making myself some, so…” you trail off, suddenly feeling rather silly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something passes over Loki’s face, something soft, and then he smiles faintly at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My apologies,” he says quietly.  “Thor has been trying to get me to spar with him all afternoon and I have no interest in it.  I thought you were him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” you say, still holding the plates out.  “Just me.  Do you want one?  One’s ham and the other is turkey.  I won’t be offended if you don’t though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki eyes the plates carefully before reaching for the turkey one.  He seems to be debating something in his mind, then comes to a decision.  He steps to the side and opens his bedroom door wider.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you...like to join me?” he asks tentatively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprise colors your features for a moment before you break into a smile.  Not many people receive this kind of invitation, you’re certain of it, and it makes you happy that he wants to spend time with you.  That he trusts you enough to let you into his personal space is huge as well.  You nod.  He motions you in then closes the door behind you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His room is nice.  It’s not much bigger than yours, with a neatly made bed and a desk covered in journals.  The walls are lined with bookshelves and bookcases, all filled nearly to overflowing with thick volumes.  You walk to them and glance at the titles; he has a little bit of everything from text books to classical literature.  You’ve always thought he would have a wide variety of interests and this just confirms that.  The walls in here are painted a rich green and all the accents - his bed spread and pillow cases, the curtains, the reading chair in the corner - are shades of gold and black.  It screams Loki and you can’t help but smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It smells like him too, clean and spicy, and you wonder when you noticed what he smelled like.  You’ve been close to him a few times in the kitchen when you’ve been making tea, so maybe that’s when?  Regardless, this place smells of him and it relaxes you.  You file that away for analysis another time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki moves the chair away from the desk and offers it to you before settling in the other chair in the room.  You sit and for a moment you just watch him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This was incredibly kind of you.  Do you often make food for the people around you?” he asks after a moment of examining his sandwich.  His lips twitch in a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only when they’re people I care about,” you reply, suddenly very interested in your ham sandwich.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m flattered,” he says quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of you eat in relative quiet, and while you expected it to maybe be weird or uncomfortable, it’s strangely relaxing.  After a while, Loki catches your eyes with his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t often let people in here,” he confesses.  “But then again, most people don’t seek me out either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I’ve only known you for like a week or two, but I like being around you,” you admit, trying to fight the warmth in your face as you glance away again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki hums, sounding pleased, and when you look at him, he’s got a private smile on his face.  You think, not for the first time, that he would be truly glorious if he actually fully smiled, but you have yet to see that happen.  Mentally you decide that that’s your next goal: make Loki laugh or fully smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not many people say that, you know,” he tells you.  “Most people find me uncomfortable at best and...well, you don’t want to know at worst.  I tend to not make friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character,” you reply.  “Until you give me a reason to not trust you or to not want to be around you, I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki snorts a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t decide if you’re brave or foolish,” he says, looking you over.  There’s a pause.  “I do like the company though,” he admits at last.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t help but smile at that.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been a long time since I’ve been around so many people,” you tell him thoughtfully.  “I forgot how nice it could be.  When things went bad with my mom, I kind of isolated.  My world became just her and me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Were you and your mother close?” Loki asks quietly.  You can tell he’s curious - he strikes you as the kind of person who’s just curious about life in general - but you can also tell he won’t push you for more than you’re ready to give.  Which is good, because this is still raw.  You chew your lip, trying to decide if you can trust him enough to talk about this.  He did invite you in...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were,” you say softly, deciding to tell him.  “After my dad split when I was a kid, it was just me and her.  She encouraged me to go to school; when she got sick, she waited until it was almost too late to tell me because she didn’t want me to give up myself for her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You blink hard, the sudden wetness in your eyes blurring your vision.  You had barely talked to anyone up to this point about your mom.  Darcy knew and that was about it.  Loki reaches over to pat your leg, but it’s not patronizing.  If anything, you draw comfort from the touch.  How long has it been since you allowed yourself close enough to people to be touched?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My mother and I were also very close,” he says quietly.  You look up at him and he has a far away look in his eyes.  He’s sharing more and more of himself with you; you don’t want to miss this.  “She’s the one who taught me magic.  She taught me so many other things too.  Losing her was...difficult.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod sympathetically.  You reach down and cover his hand with your own and give it a squeeze.  The mood is broken when there’s a loud pounding on the door.  Loki quickly pulls away and stands up to get the door while you swallow to compose yourself.  Thor peeks in around the doorframe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want, Thor?” Loki asks, annoyed, as if the last conversation didn’t just happen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I came to see if you had seen lady Y/N,” Thor booms.  “Darcy is looking for her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m coming,” you say quickly, standing up.  “She probably wants to see where I’m at with Jane’s notes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he’s surprised to see you in Loki’s room, he doesn’t show it.  You grab Loki’s empty plate and stack it with your own, then brush past Thor.  You give Loki a smile, one that he responds with a head nod, and let yourself out to find Darcy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed this next installment of Watercolors!<br/>As always, I love hearing from you and what you're thinking.<br/>I can also be found on Tumblr under the same user Birdgirl90 if you ever want to see what I do when I'm not writing or chat on a different platform!<br/>See you at the next chapter!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dear Readers,<br/>It is 8:46pm and I have officially just won NaNoWriMo with this story.<br/>What that means is, this story is officially over 50,000 words and I can officially say I'm a novelist.  I have tried this competition so many times and never succeeded, and here we are.<br/>The story isn't completely finished. I currently have 31 chapters of it done, but there's probably another like 5 I need to write to finish it.<br/>ANYWAY!<br/>I am celebrating, and I want you to celebrate with me, so here is a bonus update!!<br/>Enjoy!!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s silent at night in the house.  You’re not used to it at all.  Where you lived previously, there was always something going on - someone yelling, or cars going by, or even just the rattle of the wind in the tree outside your building.  Here, it’s almost like you really are in the middle of nowhere.  You find it both comforting and unnerving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tonight you can’t sleep.  Your window is open to let in the cool breeze of late summer, but you can’t seem to get comfortable.  The moonlight pours through your window and you stare at the ceiling, unable to really catch your thoughts.  After tossing and turning a few more times, you decide to finally just get up.  You eye your portable paints (you have a small set of travel sized watercolors that you like to take places with you), thinking.  There’s enough moonlight and the yard in the back is really nice, with sprawling grass, a few oak trees, and a couple of rose bushes blooming around the sides.  Why not take advantage of your restlessness and put it to use?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You creep downstairs, pad of watercolor paper in one hand, portable paints in the other, fully intent on going outside when you hear a sound in the kitchen.  You quietly pad to the doorway and peek in.  Loki stands at the stove, a kettle of water heating up and a mug out for tea.  He hasn’t even bothered to turn the lights on except for the one above the stove.  It takes you a minute to realize he’s singing quietly under his breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You watch, transfixed, as he moves gracefully around.  You can’t make out what he’s singing - it’s soft and in a language you don’t understand - but his voice is undeniably beautiful.  It’s rich and warm and fills the quiet air around you easily.  The kettle whistles and you startle a moment; an amused chuckle reaches your ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s rude to linger in doorways,” Loki says without looking over his shoulder.  “I know you’re there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A wave of heat covers your face at the realization that maybe you’ve not been as quiet or sneaky as you thought you were being.  Loki glances over at you, a smirk on his face, and you decide there’s no point to really just standing here anymore.  You move into the kitchen and he reaches up into the cabinet to pull down another mug.  It’s your favorite one, with stars on it and a saying from Van Gogh: “For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”  You had found it at goodwill before dropping out of school and it’s just large enough to make the right amount of coffee or tea for sleepless nights.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tea?” Loki asks, pulling you from your thoughts with his quiet voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” you reply, and watch as he pours the water over the tea bags in both of your mugs.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You take yours so you can doctor it up according to how you like it, then dunk the bag a few times while it steeps.  A comfortable silence fills the space between the two of you.  Loki turns to face you, watching you over the rim of his mug as he takes a sip.  You glance into your own mug to avoid his gaze, though you can feel his eyes still on you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have a lovely voice,” you tell him after a moment, finally pulling the tea bag from your mug.  “What were you singing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was an asgardian song my mother used to sing to me growing up,” he replies, voice thoughtful in the dark.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was lovely,” you say, looking at him at last.  “What is it about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A fierce warrior and the woman he loves,” he says with a shrug.  “What are you doing up, anyway?  Besides lurking in doorways.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh lightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I couldn’t sleep,” you admit.  “Even though it’s been a few weeks, I think I’m still adjusting to being here.  I’ve always kind of had trouble sleeping though.  Especially after…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You trail off, not wanting to admit that you have nightmares after losing your mother.  You get the feeling he knows anyway, without you having to say a word.  Your eyes trail over his face in the dark lighting - sharp cheekbones and a straight nose, and eyes that look at you with only understanding.  It’s a little intimidating being this close to him, but your heart racing in your chest has very little to do with fear.  He reaches over and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear before dropping his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand,” Loki says quietly.  “Sleep...sleep can be difficult.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have nightmares?” you ask softly.  “Or do Asgardians just need less sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckles darkly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m technically not Asgardian,” he tells  you.  “I don’t know if you heard that story or not.  I half expected Thor to tell you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shake your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He just told me a little bit about your childhood,” you say.  “Not much beyond that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki hums thoughtfully.  He trails his eyes over you, appraising you, thinking.  You shift your weight under his stare.  It’s as if he can see your very soul.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a frost giant,” he tells you after a long moment.  “Thor and I aren’t technically brothers.  Odin found me among the wreckage of a war he fought, and brought me home, just like any other stolen relic.  I was raised alongside Thor as a prince, but eventually I found out my true heritage.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His face remains impassive but you can hear a dull ache in his words.  How awful must that be, you wonder, to learn that you weren’t who you were raised to believe you were?  You want to touch him, to offer him some comfort, but you’re not sure how that would be received.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” you say instead, voice full of sympathy but not pity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki smiles faintly at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My mother always loved me regardless,” he says.  “Even after I found out.  Even when I terrorized your planet.  She never gave up hope on me, even until the end.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You wonder what his mother must have been like before she passed.  She sounded a bit like your own - warm, perhaps, and kind.  Loki clears his throat.  He motions to the paper and paints you have with you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Were you going to paint to pass the time?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you reply.  “I was thinking it’s nice outside so I would try to maybe paint in the back yard.  I’m not used to having open space to move about outside.  At my old apartment, I was mostly cooped up in my space.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki laughs a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is nice out,” he agrees.  “I hadn’t really realized.  I was just going to read in the living room for a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could join me?” you offer, raising an eyebrow at him.  “If you want?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks as though he’s thinking over your offer, but you can tell by his body language that he’s already decided.  Without waiting on a response, you start moving out of the room and to the back door.  Sure enough, he follows you silently.  The door opens easily and you take a deep breath of the fresh air as you step outside.  The grass is soft under your feet as you move until you’re in a patch of grass where you can see most of the yard.  You tuck your feet under you and spread out a bit.  Loki settles beside you, long legs crossed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you going to paint?” he asks curiously, looking over your shoulder as you pull out a pencil for a preliminary sketch.  You smile at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See the tree over there?” you ask, pointing to an oak in the corner of the yard with your pencil.  “I like the way the moon catches on the leaves.  I’m going to attempt to try to capture that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki hums, then watches as you work.  At first you’re a little self conscious at being watched.  Normally people don’t watch when you paint; it tends to be a personal thing you do in private.  But as you work the sketch out and then pull open the paints, you find that maybe you don’t mind so much.  A thought strikes you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you like to try?” you ask suddenly and when you turn to face Loki, his face is much closer than you expected.  “Thor told me that growing up you enjoyed doing this sort of thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki tilts his head to the side a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want to impose..”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not,” you say quickly.  You tear a page from your notebook and hand it to him before offering him a brush.  “Here.  Paint with me.  It’s fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes what you offer and then smiles at you, a real one this time and not that ghost of a one he always gives you.  It takes your breath away.  You smile back, and together you pass the night under the moon and stars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dear Readers,<br/>Thank you so much for sticking with me on this ride.<br/>Like I said before, there are at least 31 chapters of this story with weekly updates every Wednesday.<br/>As always, I love hearing from you, your comments make my day!<br/>See you Wednesday!!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers,<br/>Happy Wednesday!<br/>Here is the next installment of the story.<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So you and Loki, huh?” Darcy asks as she dips her french fries into a puddle of ketchup on her plate.  “I didn’t see that coming, I’ll admit, but I’m also not completely surprised.  You’ve always had the ability to get people to open up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’re sitting at the local diner in town (it seems there’s always a diner or a waffle house or Denny’s or what have you wherever you’ve ended up), just you and Darcy.  It was time to have some girl time and with Jane working into overtime - something about a project that’s coming up on a deadline - both you and Darcy have been working hard enough to not really catch up.  You put mustard on your burger and pick off the tomatoes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s not really much to talk about, to be honest,” you say with a shrug.  “I think we’re friends?  I dunno, we talk and I like his company.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s true, after the conversation about mothers over sandwiches and then your late night paint session, it’s like something has shifted.  Where before Loki had seemed still a little hesitant around you, despite the occasional teasing and sharing of the living room, now he seems more open.  You find yourself talking with him more than before, and he seeks you out even.  Just yesterday even he had let you sit in his room while you typed Jane’s notes for the day; he read in his chair and you sat at his desk, and it was nice.  Really nice, actually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh huh,” Darcy says, not quite believing you.  “He doesn’t really make friends, you know.  In fact, when he and Thor first moved in, he barely said two words to anyone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To be fair, do you blame him?  The guy has had the world against him multiple times before, it makes sense he’d be hesitant,” you tell her, “Also, I don’t really make friends easily either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s because you don’t let yourself,” Darcy retorts, brushing off the first part of your comment.  “Think about it.  When was the last time you let yourself be with others the way you’ve been with us?  With him, especially.  You closed yourself off so much when your mom got sick.  When was the last time you let yourself have some happiness even?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sigh.  She has a point.  When your mom had gotten ill, you dropped everything to take care of her.  Darcy was the only person you really stayed in touch with, and that was partially because she was so intent on keeping up with you.  If she hadn’t been so stubborn about it, you’re not convinced you would have stayed friends.  It was a dark period of your life, you had to admit.  It still feels like it is sometimes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He does make me happy,” you confess quietly.  “Living with all of you makes me happy.  I’m glad I moved in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s true.  Living around other people has been nice, even if it has taken you a bit of time to get used to all the noise after living alone for so long.  Thor is loud and enthusiastic, and honestly it sometimes rubs off on you when he’s excited about something.  Watching TV with Darcy and Jane at night is nice too; there’s a sense of solidarity and comfort with it.  Talking with Loki or even just sharing space with him gives you a quiet sense of comfort as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So has he kissed you yet?” Darcy asks abruptly, pulling you from your thoughts.  “Because I want all the details if he has.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh even as your face grows warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Darce, it’s not like that,” you say with a shake of your head.  “He’s just a friend right now.  And even if we weren’t, I’m not convinced he would see me like that regardless of how I feel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah ha!  So you do want him to be more!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Darcy looks more than triumphant and you roll your eyes.  It’s true though.  Lately you’ve been finding yourself thinking about what it would be like to feel his lips pressed against yours, his long fingers playing with your hair.  You even dream about it from time to time, of the way his green eyes sparkle when he looks at you sometimes and that not quite smile of his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, fine, I find him attractive,” you relent.  “He’s a god, of course he’s attractive.  And smart.  And interesting.  Are you happy?  Can I eat in peace now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even now you’re not completely annoyed though, and you can’t stop the smile that forms on your face as you speak.  Darcy has that way with you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What would you do if I told you he felt the same way?” she asks after a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t believe you,” you answer truthfully without a second thought.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously?” Darcy asks flatly and you shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at me.  I’m so unremarkable compared to all of you.  Why would he even remotely be interested in me like that?  I’m amazed he’s even interested in having me around as a friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought that Loki would even see you like that is laughable to you.  He is a god, for crying out loud.  People worshipped him and his brother.  There are stories about them, though you get the feeling the myths and the truth are maybe different.  Regardless, why would he want to be with you? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy sighs dramatically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t see yourself clearly, do you know that?” she tells you.  “You have no idea how amazing you are.  The rest of us see it; I wish you would.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t know what to say to that.  You’ve been in your body and your mind for so long, it all just feels so boring.  You try to look at yourself from her perspective.  Maybe you’re not as plain as you think you are, you suppose.  Maybe you’re not giving yourself enough credit here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure he likes you,” Darcy adds after a moment.  “He doesn’t look at any of us the way he looks at you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And how is that exactly?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like you’re the sunshine trickling through the clouds on a rainy day,” Darcy says.  “He looks at you like maybe you’re the only thing that matters in the room.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You think about the conversations you’ve been having with Loki, how he always puts his book down to talk to you, how he always lets you into his room when you need a break from the inevitable loudness Thor brings with him.  His eyes always hold a warmth, and sometimes curiosity.  You let out a hum as something flutters in your stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” you admit after a while.  “Maybe.  But why hasn’t he said anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because he’s scared,” Darcy says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.  “Think about it.  He’s not had good experiences with people, like you said; maybe he’s afraid you’re going to run.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You frown.  Truth is, you don’t want to say anything either.  If Darcy is wrong, you’d just end up humiliating yourself.  The thought of Loki laughing at you makes you uncomfortable.  At this point though, you’re certain he wouldn’t laugh; but then he would feel like he would have to assure you perhaps, or find polite ways of turning you down, both of which also make you uncomfortable.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If she is right, though...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, she lets the topic drop after you don’t respond.  Lunch continues with conversation drifting to other things, such as Thor’s consumption of all of the remainder pop tarts and Jane working herself into a frenzy.  Darcy makes you laugh with the way she recounts things, and you relax.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you get home, Loki is reading in his chair in the living room.  He looks up at you as you walk by to get to your room, and offers that small smile of his.  You think of what Darcy said as you return it.  You head up to your room and close the door.  You need room to think.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>I hope you enjoyed this. As always, I enjoy hearing your thoughts about the story so far!<br/>I'll see you at the next chapter!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Happy Wednesday!<br/>Here is the next chapter of the story. I'm pleased with how this one turned out.  I'm actually a lot more pleased with this story on the whole than I thought I would be, and I'm glad you are here to read along!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Everything is going well.  Everything is going smooth even.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then...something changes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been almost three days since you’ve talked to Loki.  The few times you’ve gotten up to get tea, he’s been strangely absent in the kitchen.  That would be easy enough to write off, if it weren’t for the fact that you haven’t actually been able to catch him really anywhere else, either.  When you enter a room, he ducks out of it, usually without acknowledging you.  Maybe you’re being paranoid, but you’re starting to get the feeling that he’s avoiding you.  You shake your head.  That’s ridiculous.  Right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But tonight it is very clear that maybe you’re not wrong.  You’re in the kitchen, humming to yourself while you boil water for tea, when he enters the doorway.  You look up at him and grin.  Finally.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey mischief,” you say lightly, happy to see him.  “I haven’t seen you in a while.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki looks at you, his eyes...guarded.  He doesn’t give you the faint smile he always does.  He doesn’t enter the room, either.  Uneasy, you tilt your head, trying to figure out what’s changed.  The silence between you isn’t comfortable like it normally is, and you try not to shift your weight too much from foot to foot or fidget your fingers.  It feels like everything is different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> What happened?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?” you ask after a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki clasps his hands behind his back and stands stiffly for a moment.  He isn’t quite looking at you now, and you can’t stop the worry that’s building in you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” he says at last.  “I’ll leave you be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns on his heel and leaves the room before you can even protest or make sense of his words.  You thought you had something going, if you’re being honest with yourself; he always seemed open with you, at least, once you started really getting to know him.  The late night paint session was enough to solidify that he at least wanted you around.  But now you’re questioning everything.  In silence, you finish making your tea and take it to your room, a sinking knot in your stomach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*****************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, has something happened with Loki?” you ask Darcy the next day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looks up from her phone and raises an eyebrow from her position on the couch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” she asks, setting the phone down to give you her full attention.  “I know he’s been sulking a bit more, but before you came, that was pretty normal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…” you trail off, trying to decide how to put it into words how you’re feeling.  “I think he’s avoiding me and I don’t know what I did wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy hums thoughtfully.  You chew your lip, trying to once again tell yourself that maybe you’re just blowing things out of proportion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you remember what we talked about last week at the diner?” Darcy asks after a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You think back to the conversation, about how she had picked up on your feelings towards Loki, how you claimed he was only a friend.  Something uncomfortable settles in your stomach again.  You thought he considered you a friend.  You really did.  But maybe you were wrong?  His behavior recently has made you question anything and everything regarding him.  Maybe he really doesn’t want to be around you and he was only humoring you?  Or did he pick up on what you’re truly feeling sometimes and it scared him off because he doesn’t see you that way?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What of it?” you ask, pushing those thoughts aside.  “You don’t think I somehow did something to ruin our friendship, do you?  Oh god, what if I did?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You cover your face with your hands for a moment and try to think about everything you’ve done and said over the past week.  It really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.  Hell, you had almost even gotten Loki to snicker at one point over some dumb thing you had said.  Come to think of it...it was after that incident that he started avoiding you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no,” Darcy says, shaking her head.  A small smile curls on her lips.  “Remember how I said he was scared?  Because he doesn’t open up to anyone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah..” you say slowly.  “I don’t see the point here…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s opened up to you more than anyone else,” Darcy replies, and you feel like you’re missing something very obvious.  “I think he scared himself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.  “I am literally the least intimidating person in this house.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy opens her mouth to say something else, but at that moment, the man of the hour makes his way across the living room.  He barely glances at you as he heads into the kitchen.  Darcy watches him, then tilts her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t ask me,” she says.  “Go ask him.  I’ll give you some room; I gotta go ask Jane something anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, she gets up and makes her way to the basement.  You listen for a moment to the sound of Loki opening the refrigerator, thinking.  Well, you suppose, it’s now or never.  You swallow hard and force your feet to move; this sort of confrontation has never been your strong suit.  Loki barely looks up when you enter the kitchen.  His back is to you as he makes something to eat on the counter.  You take a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you avoiding me?” you blurt out before you can change your mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki stops moving, and a stifling silence fills the space between you.  After an eternity, he moves from the counter, his snack in hand, and starts to walk by you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not avoiding you,” he mutters as he moves.  “Excuse me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tries to move past you, but without thinking, you hold your arm out to the side to stop him.  He looks at you, surprised, and to be honest you’re a little surprised with yourself too.  Normally you avoid conflict.  This feels too important though, too important to let it go.  If you don’t get this sorted out, there’s no hope for the two of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” you say firmly, looking up at him.  “You are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki rolls his eyes and lets out a huff of a sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” he says.  “Alright, I am.  Can I please get by now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did I do?” you ask instead of answering his question.  It dawns on you that he is the first true friend you’ve made in years, outside of Darcy, and the discomfort you’ve been feeling at his absence is because you miss him.  “Why are you avoiding me?  How can I fix it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki sighs heavily, then looks down at you.  There’s something in his eyes that you can’t read, but it’s heavy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not you,” he says softly before glancing away.  “You are perfectly lovely and kinder than I deserve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then what is it?” you prod.  “Please.  You can tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he doesn’t answer, you feel your heart sink.  Maybe he is scared.  Maybe Darcy was more right than you ever thought.  Trust is hard, you know, because it’s hard for you too.  Is that why you’re so drawn to him?  While your thoughts swirl around you, he clears his throat, drawing your attention back to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is a lot of darkness in me,” he confides lowly.  “Maybe...I’m worried it’s going to spill into you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without thinking, you reach for his hand.  You wrap it in both of yours as you stare at him.  There is a lot you don’t know about him, you know this.  You know there are things you’ll never know about him.  But you want him to trust you.  You need him in your life, more than anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki,” you say softly.  “You’re...you’re the first true friend I’ve made since mom died.”  The words are hard, but you continue.  He needs to know this, he needs to know how you feel.  A knot forms in your throat and you swallow, but it’s still there.  “Please,” you whisper, tears stinging your eyes.  “Please, don’t run from me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki blinks hard, tilting his head to the ceiling for a moment.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I hurt you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice is barely a whisper.  You shake your head vehemently, still holding his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki,” you whisper back, voice shaky.  This is as close to a confession as you’re going to get, before your nerves can stop you.  “You can’t hurt me more than the last year of my life has.  And I know you won’t.  You can’t hurt me.  Please.  I...I miss you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few breaths, he squeezes your hands with the one you’re holding.  At last he looks back at you.  There’s a strange new vulnerability in his features, and you release one hand to reach up and brush your thumb across his cheekbone before dropping it back to your side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” he concedes eventually.  “I’ll..stop running.  You’re...my first real friend on this gods forsaken planet too.  Perhaps...I was overreacting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The admission makes your heart ache as you imagine how lonely he was before you met him.  These kinds of confessions are rare and to be treasured, and you give him a small smile.  He takes your hand again and brings it to his lips for a moment, and there’s something so tender about the gesture that it makes something in you ache.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say quietly.  “You kinda were.  Are you always a drama queen?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki rolls his eyes, the spell broken, making you snicker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he grouses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He starts to walk again, but he still has his hand around yours and he pulls you along with him.  The somberness of the moment is gone and the air is lighter.  Maybe things will go back to normal now, you think as you walk with him into the living room.  You settle beside him on the sofa and turn on the tv, the weight you had been carrying no longer in your stomach.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today's update of the story!<br/>As always, I love to hear your thoughts on the story; your feedback and encouragement really makes it easier for me to push past the nervousness that I get when I update each week and to share this story.<br/>Thank you as always for reading, and I'll see you next week! (:<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>I am so happy to present the next chapter of the story today!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You’re humming along to some music in your room as you work on a new painting.  It’s a simple watercolor landscape of a picture you found online from a local botanical garden.  You’ve tweaked the colors so that instead of shades of red on the roses, they’re violets and blues, and you’ve taken a few artistic liberties with the arrangement of things.  The whole overall tone of the piece is cool colors with hints and pops of warm colors.  You’ve been working on it for a few hours now, wholly engrossed in what you’re doing.  You’re pleased enough with it so far that you think maybe you’ll try to sell some prints of it online.</p><p> A knock on the door pulls you from your thoughts.  Pulling your earbuds out, you go over and find Loki at your door.  You haven’t seen him - or really anyone quite honestly - all day because you’ve been cooped up in your room.  You smile at him, wiping your brush on your smock.</p><p>“Hey, what’s up?” you ask pleasantly.</p><p>Loki looks a little hesitant, a little unsure, but he offers you that small smile of his regardless.  The memories from earlier in the week, the conversation about friendship and trust and everything else still echoes in your mind.</p><p>“It’s really nice outside and I’m getting restless being in the house,” he admits.  “I was wondering...if maybe you’d like to go for a walk with me?  You’ve been in here a long time and I’ve been told getting sunlight is good for mortals.”</p><p>He glances around you into your room and sees what you’ve been working on.  He takes in the bright blooms across the canvas, then looks back at you.</p><p>“Unless you’re busy,” he says quickly.  “If you’re busy, I can -”</p><p>“I’m not busy,” you tell him just as quickly without really thinking about it and cutting him off.  “Actually, going for a walk sounds nice; I’m starting to get stiff from sitting.  The weather is going to start to turn soon from what the weather report was saying too.  Let me just, uh, pack up my stuff really quick so the brushes don’t get ruined.”</p><p>Loki nods and stays in the door frame while you move back into the room.  You motion at him.</p><p>“You can come in while I do this,” you tell him.  “If you want.  Maybe you can give me some feedback on what I’m working on.”</p><p>Quietly, Loki walks into your room, his movements almost hesitant.  The awkwardness of it makes you smile. You move to the side so he can see the canvas better.  He looks it over, and you pack up the open paint tubes while he looks.</p><p>“It’s lovely,” he murmurs, and something about the way he says it makes your heart thud a little.  “You have a good eye for color.  What do you plan on doing with it when you’re done?”</p><p>You shrug, then stand by him to also look at it.</p><p>“Probably try to sell it,” you tell him.  “That’s where most of my stuff goes.  Or stick it in my portfolio.  I try to add to that periodically just in case.”</p><p>Loki hums, then looks at you.  There’s something in his eyes you can’t quite place.  For a moment it’s like time stands still.  You remember what Darcy told you, how she’s sure he likes you the way you’re growing to like him, and of the way you want him to trust you; you can almost see it for a brief moment.  You’re aware of how close the two of you are standing and you can’t help but wonder what it would take for him to kiss you.  You lift your hand as if to touch him, and the movement seems to jar him.  He blinks hard and clears his throat.</p><p>“Shall we?” he asks, moving away from you again and you’re a little disappointed but not at all surprised.  You give him a smile despite the weird feeling of loss you can’t quite place and follow him out into the sun.</p><p>The sidewalk is pretty empty as you walk and you find yourself soaking up the warm sun.  Being inside too long is a weakness of yours; you tend to get comfortable and engrossed in what you’re doing, and by the time you think about leaving your room or the house, the sun is already gone.  This is pleasant.  When you look up at Loki, he grins down at you.</p><p>“Your hair in the light looks like a raven wing,” you comment as you notice the glossiness of his dark locks in the sun.  “Has anyone told you that?”</p><p>“No one has told me that, no,” he says conversationally, hands in his pockets.  “I think you’re the first to notice.”</p><p>“Well, people are unobservant by nature in general,” you reply.  “Their loss.”</p><p>“You’re pretty observant, though,” he points out. </p><p>“I’m an artist,” you say with a laugh.  “I have to be.  How else can I capture the beauty of the world unless I’m always aware of it?”</p><p>He chuckles lowly and you turn away so he can’t see the way your cheeks heat up.  For a bit, the two of you walk in silence.  There’s no real destination in mind and you find yourself getting caught up in the beauty of your surroundings.  This place is calm and the trees sway around you along the sidewalk, and as you walk, a thought strikes you.</p><p>“So did Darcy put you up to this?” you ask, a teasing edge in your voice; you honestly wouldn’t have put it past her.</p><p>“Of course not,” Loki says primly, making you giggle a little.  “Though, she did mention last night that today would be the last nice day for a while.”</p><p>So she dropped hints then, you think with a small smile to yourself before going back to looking at the world around you as you walk.  There are flowers in places, their colors vivid and bright in the early autumn light.  You imagine what they would look like on paper, maybe with little fairies around them.  Your art has always been a little on the edge of blurring fantasy and reality; while most of it’s still life of nature (Monet inspires you more than you like to admit), you like adding little details that make people do a double take.  </p><p>“What are you thinking?” Loki asks after a bit and you get the feeling he’s been watching you this whole time.</p><p>“Just how pretty it is here,” you tell him softly.  “It’s really easy to lose track of it in the midst of everything.”</p><p>Loki hums and when you look at him, he seems thoughtful.</p><p>“I never realized how nice Midgard could be,” he admits quietly after a while.  “The last time I was here, it was the furthest thing from my mind.”</p><p>You tilt your head to the side.  There are so many things you want to ask.  You’re not sure what would be appropriate though.  As if he’s read your mind, Loki sighs and stops walking.  He motions with his head to a tree in a grassy patch off the main sidewalk and you take the hint, following him over to it.  He doesn’t quite look at you when he clears his throat.</p><p>“Do you remember how I said there was darkness in me?” he asks, voice low.</p><p>“Yeah,” you say, brow furrowing.  “It’s okay, though, it’s-”</p><p>“Do you also remember how you said you thought there was more to the story, about when I invaded your planet?” he asks, cutting you off. </p><p>“I mean, I always assumed…”</p><p> “You’re one of the only ones to notice there was more.  Even Thor wasn’t aware when we fought; it wasn’t until after the fact that he realized.”</p><p>Loki’s voice holds a bitter edge and you step closer to him in the shade of the tree.  He finally looks down at you again and his face is paler than usual.  The silence stretches.  He looks like he’s trying to decide what to tell you.</p><p>“Realized what?” you ask at last.  “You can trust me.  I promise, you can trust me.”</p><p>Loki sighs and runs a hand down his face, something weary crossing his features.  He shifts a little between his feet.  You can almost feel the anxiety in his body.  He wants to trust you, you can tell, you can see it in his eyes.  After what feels like years but really has only been maybe a few minutes, he speaks.</p><p>“Growing up... all I really wanted was to be accepted,” he tells you, not looking at you.  “Thor was in line to be king, and everyone assumed I wanted the throne.  When everything fell apart...I fell into the abyss, hoping for peace.”</p><p>He sucks in a breath and without thinking about it, you reach and take his hand in yours much like the other night when he needed comfort.  His skin is cool, and you can feel the strength in his fingers as you thread yours through them.  You give an encouraging squeeze.  Had he ever told anyone this before?  Loki looks at your hands together and continues on.</p><p>“Instead I found...torment and torture.  When I came to Midgard, it wasn’t because it was what I wanted.  I didn’t...I wasn’t acting of my own will.  The negativity and darkness had consumed me until my desires were no longer mine.  Maybe at one point I would have tried to conquer, but that’s never what I really wanted.”</p><p>When he finally meets your gaze, his eyes are shining.  You reach up and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear.  His other hand reaches up to catch yours before you can pull back.  </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” you tell him quietly, voice scarcely above a whisper.  </p><p>“You asked if sleep is hard,” he says softly.  “It is.  Often it is filled with that.  Of what happened.  And of what could have happened.”</p><p>The confession settles heavily inside you.  His eyes search yours, looking for perhaps fear or rejection or disgust.  You don’t feel any of those, though.  If anything, you feel honored for him telling you such a thing.  Truths like that are hard, and for him to tell you…your heart clenches for him.  Perhaps this is what he meant by darkness in him - the nightmares, the loathing, the upset.</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, repeating yourself.  “Thank you though...for trusting me.”</p><p>Loki turns his head and kisses your palm before he sighs.  He drops your hand, releasing his fingers from your other hand.  Before you can feel the sting of rejection though or process the way his lips felt against your skin, he’s wrapping his arms around you in an embrace.  You fiercely return it, holding him tightly until he gently untangles himself from you.</p><p>“The Avengers still hold it against me,” he says.  “I don’t blame them.  Most of the people here do and they have every right to.  When Thor and I have to go back to New York for missions, I still think about it.  I still remember.  All I can do...is try to be better.  And you make me want to be better.”</p><p>The last part throws you off guard.  He wants be better...for you?  </p><p>He sighs again, a wistful sound that pulls you back to the moment at hand, then gives you that ghost of a smile he always does.  Some of the heaviness in his features is lifted a bit, though he still looks tired.  You smile back at him, hopeful.  This feels like a turning point.  For a long moment, the two of you just look at each other.</p><p>“But enough of that,” Loki says at last, offering you his arm.  “Shall we?”</p><p>You nod and take his arm, and continue your walk as the afternoon passes by.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today's chapter. As always, I love hearing your thoughts about the story as we go.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>I have no excuse. This chapter is tooth rotting fluff.<br/>That being said, bring a toothbrush and enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Autumn is creeping in slowly but surely, the air growing cooler as the days slowly begin to get shorter, when grey of the walls of your bedroom have finally gotten to you.  This afternoon you’ve been restless and realized that you can’t stand the toupe color that surrounded you.  You’re an artist, after all, shouldn’t your space be colorful?  Besides, you were told you could do whatever you wanted with your room.  SHIELD doesn’t care as long as you don’t set the place on fire.  You tap your fingers on your chin as you think.  The question then became: how did you want to do this?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Staring at the walls, you start to get an idea.  In your mind you can see strands of ivy and bright blossoms along the moulding by the ceiling, swirls of colors like waves across the actual walls.  You start to make a list in your mind of what kind of paint you’ll need.  The paint you use on your canvases won’t work well for walls, and you really don’t want to waste your supplies if you don’t have to.  You’ll most definitely need to make a trip to one of the home improvement store for supplies…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Knock knock,” an amused voice says quietly from your doorway and you jump.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki laughs lowly, and you place your hand on your heart with a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so quiet when you move,” you say with a quick laugh.  “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki walks into your room to stand close to you.  His fingers trail along the edge of your desk and he offers you a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, we can’t have that, now can we?” he replies quietly.  “What were you thinking about in that pretty head of yours that had you so distracted?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You try not to think too hard on the fact that he just called you pretty and instead turn your gaze back to the wall you had previously been staring at.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to paint the walls,”  you tell him, tilting your head to the side.  “I have a few ideas, but I need to go buy paint for it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You turn to face him and he’s looking at you thoughtfully.  An idea hits you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to help?” you ask before you can stop yourself.  “I probably will need some help moving the furniture around and it would be really fun to have a painting buddy.  And you did so well when we painted outside that one time…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki sighs and teasingly rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You flatter me,” he says lightly.  “As we both know I am not an artist.  But I suppose I shall not turn down an offer by such a lady.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort, then playfully smack his chest as you walk past to the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And we both know I’m not a lady,” you reply with a laugh.  “But I do appreciate the sentiment.  Let’s get going before it gets too late, I want to be able to sleep in here tonight without inhaling paint fumes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki follows you out with a smirk and you load up into your car.  The leaves are changing along the street as you drive and you love it.  Autumn has always been your favorite season and this year is looking to be as beautiful as ever.  The Lowe’s parking lot is fairly empty as you park the car and get out.  Loki offers you his arm and you take it without even really thinking about it.  The little touches and gestures like this have become fairly normal for the two of you at this point; you try very hard not to read too much into it each time.  He’s just being a gentleman and you’re just being friendly, that’s all there is to it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The paint section of hardware stores has always been your weakness.  There’s just something about seeing all the different paint chips lined up along the walls, waiting to be taken, that makes your heart sing.  You one time made a collage of them, collecting all the reds and blues and violets to cover a huge piece of poster paper.  Your fingers itch, begging you to touch all the different colors before you.  Loki for his part mostly stands back while you wander, watching you while you debate the merits of different shades of blues for the walls, the different hues of violets for your flowers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had no idea there were so many colors you could pick from,” he murmurs under his breath as you hand the bored looking kid working the counter several paint chips.  “I must say though, I’ve never been to this store before either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile brightly at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, they have the best selection of colors at places like this,” you tell him.  “Same with art supply stores.  I should take you there next.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki makes a noncommittal noise, but looks interested nonetheless.  At long last you’re walking out of the store with several small buckets of paint in hand as well as a few square brushes, the kind Bob Ross uses when he’s making happy little trees.  As you start to pull out of the parking lot, you turn to Loki.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, speaking of the art store, do you mind if we make a stop?” you ask a little sheepishly.  The poor guy didn’t commit to you going all over town, after all, but you do need to pick up some extra canvas paper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all,” Loki says pleasantly with a wave of his hand.  “I’m here at your service.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re ridiculous,” you mumble but can’t stop the pleased smile from crossing your face anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The art store is fairly empty, as most usually are when you go to them.  There’s something about the way they smell - like pencils and spray paint and charcoal all at once - that always relaxes you.  You walk through the store a bit haphazardly, stopping to touch this or that.  Loki seems interested by the wall of colored pencils they have and you stop with him to look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I always did like sketching,” he confides quietly.  “I used to use pastels in my free time growing up.  Before…everything, that is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sounds a little wistful, a little sad.  You so badly want to give him back some of what he’s lost through everything.  You pat him on the arm as he stands there with his hands in his pockets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you want...we can get you stuff too,” you offer.  He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.  “You know, if you want to draw again.  The sketchbooks are on sale and everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he replies, uncertain, but you can see a spark of interest in his eyes.  “I doubt I would be any good…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Art isn’t about being good,” you say firmly, taking him by the arm and down the drawing supply aisle.  “Art is about emotion.  It’s the same reason anyone writes or sings or dances; art is expression and everyone can do it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki stays quiet but lets you get him a sketchbook and a set of beginner pastels.  As you drive home again, he seems a little pleased even.  You smile to yourself; if anything, you now have more of an excuse to hang out with him.  And you had seen what he had painted that night under the moon - he is nothing short of creative himself, not that you would have guessed any differently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Painting your room goes a little smoother than you thought it would.  You keep the window open and the quiet breeze that blows through keeps the paint fumes from getting to both of you.  Loki is nothing but helpful, moving your desk and bed and night stand table without argument.  When you hand him a brush to add his own mark to the room, he raises an eyebrow at you with a question on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is this for?” he asks, turning the brush over in his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you can paint something,” you tell him as if it is obvious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Surely you can’t want me to ruin your walls,” he says, almost amused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t ruin them, Loki,” you say with an exaggerated eye roll.  “I wouldn’t hand you the brush if I didn’t want your help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you want me to paint?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you want,” you reply, moving down the wall a bit to add some swirls of color.  “It’s just color.  Leave your mark.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hums to himself in thought for a moment, before moving over and beginning to run the brush along the wall.  You can’t help yourself, watching him move.  His hand is graceful and his eyes sharp on what he’s doing.  When he pulls back, you beam at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s painted a small stretch of flowers, but each blossom is a heart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Thanks for reading along!<br/>I hope you enjoyed this week's chapter and I will see you next Wednesday!<br/>And for those of you who celebrate the holidays this week, I wish you a happy and blessed time.<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey there Readers!<br/>Happy last Watercolors Wednesday for the year 2020! I don't know about you, but this year has really pushed me around; it's shown me I can deal with things better than I thought I could, and also made me really sort some priorities.<br/>One of the best things that came out of this year, though, is this story and going back to my other story. Writing again has kept me sane and the community and love that goes with it is amazing.<br/>Thank you for being amazing and enjoy the chapter!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if you get hurt?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The worry you feel colors your voice as you ask the question.  For the first time since you’ve been living with them, Loki and Thor are needed for the Avengers.  That means that a black SUV is coming to pick them up, take them to a plane, and then take them to New York to meet up with the others.  You’ve been a bit of a mess since you found out they were going.  Was this standard?  Did this happen often?  You had been assured that it was not a frequent all the time thing, but that it was something you had to get used to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s only for a week,” Loki says, reassuring you as he stands by the door.  “And need I remind you, I am a god.  I am more than capable of coming back in one piece.  Don’t worry, darling, I will be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How will I know you’re okay?” you ask, worry making your eyebrows furrow; you almost miss the way the word darling falls from his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki cups your face in his hands and brushes his thumbs over your cheeks.  You reach up and wrap your fingers around his wrists, as if to hold him in place forever.  He smiles ruefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor finally convinced me to get a phone,” he tells you.  “I’m still not a fan but I’m learning how to text.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’ll text me then?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> He makes no attempt to move his hands from your face.  He’s so close, all it would take is for you to reach up on your toes and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll keep you as in the know as I can,” Loki says, breaking your train of thought.  “Please don’t worry too much about me.  I’ll be back before you know it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sigh and nod.  He grins at you, then leans down to press his lips to your forehead.  For a brief moment, he lingers and you close your eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of him against you.  Loki isn’t someone you would consider a touchy feely person, but things have been shifting in your world.  Touches like this are starting to become more and more common - a brush of a hand against your waist as you make tea, tucking hair behind your ear when you’re talking, holding hands periodically when you go out on walks.  It baffles your mind, to be quite honest.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And now he’s started calling you ‘Darling’.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Brother, are you ready?  The car is here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor’s voice ruins the moment and Loki pulls back, jarring you back into the present.  He looks you over once and then brushes some hair off your face before letting you go.  You watch as he retreats out the door, moving to the window to watch the car leave.  He waves once to you before getting in, and then he’s gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> It’s going to be a long week.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t worry too much,” Darcy says as you settle onto the couch, curling your legs underneath you.  “Thor is pretty good about always making sure things are okay, and I have yet to see them come back with more than a scratch or two.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sits down next to you and grabs the remote, turning on the television and flipping idly through the channels.  You chew your lip anxiously as you try to not think about what could possibly happen to Loki while he’s gone.  He’s technically not yours to worry about, you remind yourself, but that doesn’t help at all.  He may not be “yours” per say, but he’s arguably the person you’re closest with at this point outside of Darcy, and knowing he’s gone leaves a little hole in your heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you guys normally do when they leave?” you ask, glancing over at Darcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, Jane usually works harder than normal to not think about it,” she says, looking back at you.  “We sometimes just have girl time and drink wine and watch romantic comedies.  Stuff like that.  I’m telling you, you have nothing to worry about though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” you say with a sigh.  “You’re right.  He’ll be- they’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, do you guys want to go get dinner?” Jane’s voice comes in from the kitchen.  She sticks her head around the doorframe.  “It’s ladies night downtown.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hell yeah,” Darcy says, standing up.  “I could use some fries.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile to yourself.  Maybe a night out isn’t such a bad thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three of you pile into Jane’s car and she drives you into the heart of the neighboring town.  You sit at a table and order fries and beer and chicken wings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How often does this happen?” you ask Jane and she gives you a gentle smile before taking a swig of her beer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About once every month or two,” she says.  “The trick is to not think too hard about what they’re going through, but to rather focus on how you can make it better for when they get back and how to keep yourself occupied.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hum thoughtfully, taking a fry.  Keeping occupied is going to be difficult but you think you can manage.  At least, you hope you can.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll be okay,” Jane says with confidence and Darcy nods.  “They always come back fine.  Trust me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You take a breath, hold it a moment, then let it out.  She’s probably right; after all, she’s been dating Thor for how long now?  And again, you remind yourself, it’s not like you’re involved with Loki beyond whatever song and dance you two have been doing lately.  So you decide to take her advice and let yourself fall into comfortable conversation about work and life, the night passing by.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your phone buzzes in the middle of the night later in the week.  You had been sleeping, dreaming about green eyes and a smart mouth; groggily you reach for it.  It takes you a minute to wake up enough to process that you’re looking at a text on your screen.  You squint your eyes and read:</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Hello darling.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki had reached out one other time to you while he’s been gone, a brief conversation of how he made it safely to New York and they were leaving again in the morning for an undisclosed location.  Then he had gone radio silent again, so to speak, leaving you to worry and chew your nails while you typed notes for Jane.  The relief that fills you at the words on your phone makes you sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Hello yourself,’ you type back.  ‘How’s the mission?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There is a long pause.  Your eyes drift close and you find yourself drifting off again while you wait.  The sudden buzz in your hand jolts you awake again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Not...the worst, I suppose.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He texts like he talks and it makes you laugh a little.  You imagine him hunched over somewhere with the phone in his hands as he messages you, hiding the screen from anyone who might see, his nimble fingers dancing across the keyboard.  You think for a moment and decide to ask the question that’s on your mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘When are you coming back home?  It’s weird without you here.  I’m the only one making tea at ungodly o clock in the morning now.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s hardly a pause before he responds and his answer makes your heart beat loudly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Now.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You start to type again, to ask how soon that means when a quiet knock on your door scares the living daylights out of you.  You jump out of bed and cautiously open it, expecting maybe Jane or Darcy.  Instead, the tall figure of the man you have just been talking to fills your doorway.  His armor gives his lithe form a sense of authority, though he always kind of commands that, and you feel something clench low in your stomach as you take him in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Surprise,” he says lowly, and when he grins at you, it’s a little crooked.  “I’m back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki looks tired and there are shadows under his eyes, but nothing life threatening or worrying.  You beam at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do the others know you’re back?” you ask, trying your best not to jump on him to hug him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckles, that rich musical sound, and steps closer to you.  You can’t help yourself; you wrap your arms tightly around him, his armor poking you awkwardly in places. He hugs you back before pulling away to take your hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor went to go wake Jane, and Darcy will find out in the morning,” he tells you pleasantly.  “I wanted to see you before I went to bed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The knowledge that he sought you out instead of heading straight for the shower fills you with warmth.  It’s getting harder and harder to deny your feelings, and as he looks at you, you wonder if he’s having the same dilemma.  At last he breaks the silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to shower,” he says.  “But when I’m done...will you come sit with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You grin at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would love to.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Be safe going into the new year!<br/>Thank you again for reading and for surviving the year with me.<br/>As always, I love hearing what you think!<br/>See you soon!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>Sorry this is a tad later in the day than normal; I forgot it was Wednesday and I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off.<br/>I hope you all had a wonderful New Years and I am excited we get to continue on with this story in 2021!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s October when the grief hits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’ve been doing so well.  Adjusting to the house these past two months has been great.  The work for Jane keeps you busy and when you’re not doing art or hanging out with Darcy, Loki is there to keep you on your toes.  There are feelings and comfort and a routine, and frankly you’re starting to feel happy for the first time since your mother passed.  Everything is going well.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then it hits you like a freight train.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’re cleaning your room and you notice a small box you hadn’t somehow managed to unpack even though it’s been about two months now.  It’s hiding on the top shelf of your closet; you figure it must have gotten overlooked when you were getting settled.  Reaching up on your tiptoes, you manage to nudge it off the shelf so that you can go through it.  It’s a small box of keepsakes you had forgotten you had.  Each one fills you with a little nostalgia as you go through the box - a cutting from the newspaper announcing a friend's wedding, pictures from your childhood, that sort of thing.  But then you see it: a small silver locket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your breath catches in your throat.  It’s one that belonged to your mother and that had become yours when she had passed.  With suddenly clammy hands, you open it, though you already know what’s inside.  A picture of a smiling woman with a baby in her arms.  The first picture taken of you with your mother when you were born.  Shakily, you set the box down and make your way to your bed before the tears start.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You miss her.  You miss her so much.  The one stable thing in your whole life, the one constant, and she’s gone.  The tears come fast and hard, and a sob wracks through your body.  You don’t try to muffle yourself, certain that everyone is either outside or in the basement and won’t be able to hear you anyway.  After what seems like a millenia, a knock comes at your door - sharp, persistent, followed by your name being called in a voice that you are all too familiar with.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you don’t answer, the door opens slowly.  Loki peeks his head in, and the moment he sees you, worry furrows his brow.  He steps in when you make no move to stand up, and closes the door behind him.  You hold your arms around your middle as if you can hold yourself together that way.  You’re only faintly aware of him sitting beside you until you feel him pull you into his side, his arm wrapped around you in an embrace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” he asks you quietly.  “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s gone,” you somehow manage around the lump in your throat, the only coherent thought you can get out.  You don’t know how to explain this, this overwhelming grief and sorrow you feel.  You just hope he understands.  “She’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He must understand though because he just holds you a little tighter while you cry.  He doesn’t tell you to be quiet or to hush like so many other people in your life have told you when you’ve cried, just merely holds you close to him, his long fingers combing through your hair.  You cling to him without thinking, knotting your fingers in the soft material of his shirt, snot running down your face.  When you finally start to feel yourself coming back together, you sniffle against him.  When had your face become tucked against his chest?  It doesn’t matter.  You pull back and he looks at you with heavy eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” you whisper, face warm from crying and a little from embarrassment.  “I’m sorry you had to see that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only now does Loki hush you.  He lets you sit up a bit more, lets you untangle yourself from him, but stays close, his knee brushing yours.  When he speaks, his voice is quiet, soothing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have nothing to apologize for.  Never, ever apologize for how you feel.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod, tempted to hide your face in your hands.  He reaches over with careful fingers and wipes a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Losing my mother was the hardest thing I’ve been through,” he tells you gently, stroking your cheek once more before dropping his hand.  “I can’t tell you that it gets better, because in many ways it doesn’t.  But I can tell you this - it will become more manageable.  Let yourself feel it.  When you hold it in...it consumes you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You get the feeling he doesn’t talk often about his mother to people.  Of course it makes sense though; if anyone can understand what you’re going through, it would be Loki.  You watch his face for a moment, let his words sink in.  After a moment, you glance down.  His hands are open and facing each other, and between them is an illusion of a butterfly.  It’s shimmering wings flutter softly.  For a moment, you’re distracted from the hollow ache in your chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s amazing,” you whisper in awe.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’ve never seen this before.  You know he has magic (he is a mage after all) but you’ve never been able to witness it before.  He stares at the butterfly between his hands and gives a small, sad smile.  He shifts his fingers and it starts to float around you both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My mother was my refuge growing up,” Loki says softly.  “I was sickly as a child, in part to my Jotunn heritage, and I never was able to keep up with Thor when we were very small.  Frigga taught me magic.  She tried so hard to teach me so many things - lessons about life - but only a few of them stuck, I’m afraid.  She was a good woman.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” you tell him and he shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She would have loved you,” he admits after a few moments.  “I feel like the two of you would have gotten along so well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think my mother would have liked you as well,” you reply quietly.  “She always taught me not to judge a book by it’s cover.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hums thoughtfully, a sound you are all too familiar with at this point.  The butterfly flutters past you and without thinking about it, you hold your finger out as a perch.  It rests on you, weightless, a ghost of sorts, and you can’t quite look away from it, from the magic in your hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me about her,” Loki prompts gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You swallow hard.  What could you even tell him?  Your heart hurts but you begin to talk regardless, still watching that glowing butterfly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She was my best friend growing up,” you begin, and Loki rests his hand on your knee, giving an encouraging squeeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s all it takes, and for the better part of the next hour, you babble about your mom.  You tell Loki about how she taught you to cook and how she always encouraged you in school to pursue your dreams.  You tell him about how kind she was, how she took care of you when it was just the two of you.  Detail after detail fall from your lips, things you’ve not shared with anyone else, and Loki takes it all in.  He laughs with you when you laugh and he makes sympathetic noises when you hit the hard parts.  He asks all the right questions in a way that no one else ever has.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I miss her,” you end simply.  “But I’m glad she’s not suffering any more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki leans over and kisses your temple and you try to not let yourself dwell too much on his lips against your hair.  The butterfly moves and with a motion of his hands, disappears.  Before you can say anything, his hands are shifting again and this time a flower forms, your favorite kind.  It looks solid and you find yourself wanting to touch it.  Loki holds it up, a small grin on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not all of my magic consists of illusions or tricks,” he tells you.  “Take it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So you do, and while you expect it to disappear when you touch it, it is surprisingly solid under your fingers.  It’s a real flower; Loki has made you an actual flower and that alone nearly makes you start crying again.  He stands up and offers you a hand, and you take it, letting him pull you to your feet.  You follow him to the quiet living room and let him make you tea.  He tucks a blanket around your shoulders and you sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” you whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki smiles, a true smile at you, and nods his head before settling down next to you and pulling out a book.  He opens it, and in his low voice, begins to read to you until you can feel the calmness swirling through you.  Maybe, you think, you’re going to be alright.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers,<br/>I hope you enjoyed!<br/>As always, I love hearing from you; I'm kind of bad about always responding to comments, but they are always appreciated and I enjoy hearing your thoughts as you read.<br/>Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next Wednesday!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Here is the next chapter! Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You should just tell him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You and Darcy are making cupcakes in the kitchen.  It had started with just you needing to do something creative.  When you don’t do art, you enjoy other things, and while you’ve never been great with baking, there’s something to be said about following a recipe and producing something.  Thor and Jane are out for the day, Loki hiding in his room; Darcy had wandered in from the living room when she heard you puttering about and decided to help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say lightly, not looking up from the directions in front of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Darcy snorts and slaps your shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Of course you don’t,” she says with a dramatic sigh.  “Look, it’s starting to get old watching you two circle each other.  We’ve all started placing bets and I really want to beat Thor at this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You stare at her, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You’re placing bets on my love life now?” you ask incredulously.  “Are you fucking serious?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Um, a little.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Darcy at least has the grace to look sheepish.  You shake your head and lean back on the counter.  Your fingers drum against the cool surface as you think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“And what’s your bet?” you ask, curiosity getting the better of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Well, Thor says it won’t be until Thanksgiving or later when you and Loki finally admit you have feelings,” Darcy says with a shrug.  “I think it’ll be before turkey day.  So, you know, if you could move it along…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You laugh and she grins at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I’m not ready,” you admit after a moment of consideration.  “It scares me a little.  He’s one of my best friends now, Darce, what if I fuck that up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Darcy gives you a knowing smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You won’t,” she says with certainty.  “Trust me on this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You sigh and stare at the ceiling.  Things keep getting closer and closer between you and the god, and you’re having a harder and harder time keeping your feelings to yourself.  But the imagined awkwardness of ruining it and having to still face him because you both live here stops you from confessing the few times you’ve had an opportunity to.  There’s some part of you that is convinced he would laugh at you in your face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Well,” Darcy says, pulling you from your thoughts.  “Just...eventually something has to give.  You guys are just going round and round and at first it was cute - it still kind of is - but think of what you’re missing out on!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I know,” you groan, rubbing your face.  “I know.  Trust me, Darce, I do.  Look, if it’s going to happen, it will have to happen on it’s own.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You could just kiss him,” Darcy suggests with a cheshire cat grin on her face.  “I bet he would love that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You shake your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I wish it was that easy,” you say, more to yourself than anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Wish what was that easy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>The smooth voice makes you jump and your face heats up as you see Loki standing in the kitchen doorway.  His head is tilted to the side as he watches you and Darcy, and a ghost of a smirk graces his lips.  You almost wonder if he’s heard what you and Darcy were talking about, but choose to believe he didn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Nothing,” you say, turning back to the directions in the cook book.  “Just the baking directions.  I never know how to measure things correctly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Darcy groans and Loki just chuckles before leaving the room once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You guys are hopeless,” Darcy mutters.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>****************************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“What are you drawing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You can’t stop the curiosity from bubbling out of you when you pass Loki on the sofa.  He has his sketchbook out, the one you picked up from the store not that long ago, and he’s concentrating fairly hard on something.  The way he grips his pencil is distracting, grace and strength in controlled measures, and his brow is furrowed.  He practically jumps when you speak, as if you have startled him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Nothing very good,” he says with a half smirk.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You settle yourself on the couch next to him and cross your legs, your own sketchbook in your lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I seriously doubt that,” you tell him, mirroring his smirk.  “You sell yourself short, you do know that, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>He rolls his eyes and shrugs dramatically, and you toss a throw pillow from behind you at his face.  He dodges easily, a small laugh bubbling from his lips.  You don’t think you’ll ever get past that sound.  How much longer will you let these feelings eat at you?  The conversation from the kitchen earlier still rings in your ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You also sell yourself short,” Loki tells you. “You’re so much more than you think you are.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tosses the pillow back at you; you don’t duck in time and end up getting smacked in the face with a groan.  His low laughter - true laughter this time - makes it all worth it though.  You grin as you hold the pillow to your lap.  His green eyes sparkle in the evening lamp light, his echoing grin making your heart beat louder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Fine, whatever.  I’ll make you a deal,” you offer after a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Oh?” he says, raising one of his dark eyebrows.  “I’m intrigued.  What could you possibly offer me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>The way he says it makes your stomach clench a little and you have to swallow before you speak again.  He knows exactly what he’s doing, as his smirk turns just a little darker.  You plow on before you lose your courage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I’ll show you the sketch I made of you if you show me what you’re working on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You can see the debate in his face.  The curiosity is winning out though, you can tell, but he makes you wait regardless.  When you make no move to look away, he sighs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Alright,” he agrees.  “I suppose a trade is fair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You flip open your sketchbook to the page where you had sketched him out what feels like a lifetime ago.  You give it a quick once over.  You think you did pretty well capturing his essence, all things considered.  Though now that you know him the way you do, you could probably do it better.  You hand over the sketchbook and hold out your hand expectantly.  Loki holds it out, but when you grab for it, he pulls it just out of reach.  You stick out your tongue at him, then snatch it quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>His drawing is beautiful.  He’s drawn a figure, with soft features and gentle eyes, and for a moment, your brain freezes.  Things aren’t connecting until you look up and see the way Loki is looking at you.  Then it clicks.  He’s drawn you.  Except...you look so much prettier in his drawing than you would ever consider yourself in real life.  Your hands shake a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“It’s beautiful,” you whisper. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You’re beautiful,” he says solemnly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>And in that moment, you have nothing to say.  What could you say?  He leans forward a little, and you think this is it, this is where he kisses you...and then the timer goes off and he pulls back.  You hand him his sketchpad back and get up to get the cupcakes, your mind still spinning a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Maybe Darcy is right after all, you think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today’s update. As always, I love hearing your thoughts on the story!<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>Happy Wednesday! Here is the new chapter, I hope you enojoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Time keeps flying, and before you know it, Halloween has come and passed.  To your pleasant surprise, your Etsy store has picked up in business and now you have orders shipping out at least once a week.  You’re considering making business cards even, to further promote yourself.  One of these, perhaps, will eventually lead to a commission gig somewhere.  Which, you hope, will lead to your own gallery show...though it’s hard to let yourself dream too hard about that.  One step at a time, you remind yourself, one step at a time.  Everyone in the house has been incredibly supportive, for which you are so grateful for.  Everything is looking up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a week before Thanksgiving when the inevitable stress illness hits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you wake up, you know it’s bad.  Your head hurts.  Your throat hurts.  When you try to clear your throat because good god it feels like something is stuck in it, it just turns into a coughing fit.  Finally you crack your eyes open.  The room swims a moment but then levels out; that is, until you sit up and the light headed feeling over takes you.  You shiver even while you wipe sweat from your face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’re definitely sick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stumbling to the bathroom,  you pray no one - especially Loki - sees you.  Thankfully the lights stay off and no one seems to be around.  You lean on the bathroom sink.  Your reflection is ghastly, your eyes glassy.  After a moment, you fish out the thermometer from the medicine cabinet and stick it under your tongue.  Your legs shake and you slump to the floor with a quiet thud while waiting for it to beep.  When it does, you shake your head: 101.2.  Lovely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room spins a little and you think about how on earth you’re supposed to get up on your wobbly legs.  You’re so preoccupied that you don’t notice Loki in the door frame until he clears his throat, making you practically jump out of your skin.  You look up at him.  He’s always tall, but from here on the floor he seems even taller.  His brow furrows as he takes you in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I heard what I thought was something falling over,” he explains quietly.  “I didn’t realize you had fallen.  Is there a reason you’re on the floor?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My legs got tired,” you reply wryly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki gives you a small smirk that fades when you start coughing again.  He kneels down beside you and places a cool hand to your face; you whimper at the touch.  Normally you take pleasure in the small touches he gives you now that you’ve become close - the brush on the back or the occasional hug when you’re sad - but today his skin feels much too cold.  Even still, you lean into his hand.  You can’t help it.  He’s touching you and you crave it.  The coolness of his hand helps dull the ache in your head, too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are not well,” he says after a moment, pulling back at last, and you snort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Captain Obvious, I know.  Well people don’t just sit on the bathroom floor,” you mumble.  “I’m pretty sure it’s the flu.  I don’t think I can stand up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki lets out a sympathetic hum and when you look at him again, worry is etched into his face.  Friends worry about each other, you rationalize in your foggy mind, and that’s what you are, after all.  Even if you ache to touch him and spend nights wondering what his lips on yours would feel like, that’s what you are right now: friends.  Loki breaks your thoughts by smoothing out a bit of your hair that had been plastered to your sweaty forehead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What can I do?” he asks, and you can almost swear you hear something helpless in his words.  “I am not familiar with Midgardian illnesses.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“First I need to get back to bed,” you croak out, wincing at how rough your voice sounds.  “Can you maybe help me up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You cough again.  You look disgusting and you feel disgusting and you really hate that he’s seeing you like this.  You wait for him to stand up and offer his hand, your eyes slipping closed; instead, the world shifts and you’re suddenly in the air.  Startled, you open your eyes to reveal that Loki is cradling you in his arms.  In any other circumstance, you might take a moment to appreciate how strong he is and the way he’s holding you.  Now, though, all you manage is a sigh and to lay your head against his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve got you, darling,” Loki says quietly, his velvet voice rumbling through him where your head is now pressed.  “You’ll be well again soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it is, the word ‘Darling’ again, as if it’s nothing.  You choose to not dwell on it, instead offering a nod and letting him carry you back to your room.  Gently he lays you on the bed and pulls the blankets up around you before sitting on the edge of the mattress.  His hand rests on your leg, his face still worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now what?” he asks and you almost laugh in spite of yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could use some pain killers,” you admit quietly.  “And maybe a glass of water.  And then sleep.  Lots of sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki nods and rises, slipping out of the room.  You can hear the medicine cabinet open again, the shake of the pill bottle, and then the sink running.  Soon he’s back in your room, offering you a glass of water and four ibuprofen to help kill your fever.  You take them gratefully and then lay back against your pillows.  Loki is still hovering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just the flu,” you tell him softly, voice rough around the edges.  “I’ll be alright, I promise.  I just need to sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods, then leans down to brush a strand of hair from your face.  You close your eyes, and you think you can feel a feather light brush of lips against your forehead, but you write it off as probably a fever induced hope.  The door to your room closes and you drift off, uncomfortable and achy, waiting for the pain meds to kick in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A dream forms as you sleep, vivid and bright yet foggy all the same.  Loki is in it, and he’s telling you to wake up for some reason, though you don’t know why.  Someone is shaking your shoulder and you reach up to brush them away, but they catch your hand instead.  You open your eyes and see Loki above you.  He offers you a small smile and drops his hand.  The scent of chicken soup fills what little air you can breathe through your nose, and you look over at the nightstand to see a bowl of it beside you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did some reading,” Loki begins quietly, and even though you hurt, his voice is a balm on your ears.  “About the flu.  It kills people.  I’m worried about you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You give a groggy smile at him and cough before speaking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh Loki,” you say gently.  “I am neither very old nor very young, I’m not at risk of dying from it.  I just need to sleep and break my fever, and I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki nods once, then sits down on the bed and reaches for the soup.  He pulls up a spoonful of it and you raise your eyebrow.  He rolls his eyes and motions for you to sit up.  So this is how it’s going to be then.  You didn’t realize he was such a mother hen.  You settle yourself so that you’re sitting up and reach to take the bowl, but he won’t let you.  Instead, he offers you a spoonful of the clear broth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not dying, Loki, I can eat food on my own,” you tell him, even as you lean closer and take a bite of the soup from the spoon he’s offering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” he says with a sigh.  “Just let me help.  Please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You know it’s bad if he’s saying the word please.  Your pride gives way to your understanding, and you nod.  He looks pleased as you eat, and you realize this is the first thing you’ve had in at least a day.  At last, the soup is done and he sets the bowl down.  He touches your forehead and frowns.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re still too hot,” he murmurs with a frown.  “Humans should not be this hot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you think I’m hot,” you tease before you can really stop yourself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> His worry is starting to overwhelm you a bit.  He narrows his eyes at you, then stands up abruptly.  You suddenly worry that maybe you’ve killed whatever this is between you.  Instead, he starts peeling off his shirt.  A flush covers your cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki, what are you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to break your fever,” he says matter of factly once his shirt is on the floor.  “This will help.  Do you trust me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t stop yourself from letting your eyes wander over his lithe form, the pale skin of his torso and the strength in his muscles.  He may not be built like Thor, but there is a sleekness to Loki that reminds you of a panthor - graceful, beautiful, and deadly.  When you look back up to his face, he’s smirking at you.  After a moment, the smirk drops and he raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I trust you with my life,” you admit quietly, and you decide you can blame the fever for making you say that.  It’s the truth though; in the time you’ve come to know Loki while living here, he’s never given you a reason to not trust him.  He looks a little surprised at your answer before he continues.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Remember how a long time ago I told you I’m part Jotunn?” he asks you, voice low.  You nod, and he continues.  “I think...it might help you get the fever under control.  If you’ll let me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes you a minute to understand in your foggy mind what he’s saying, but then it clicks all at once.  He wants to turn into his other form and use his body temperature to cool you down.  The fact that he trusts you to show his other face is huge, you know that much, and the idea of being held by him is too tempting to pass up.  You nod and he closes his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, blue over takes his pale skin, raised lines forming on his skin in intricate patterns.  When he opens his eyes, the green is replaced with deep crimson.  He searches your face for any sign of discomfort; you take a deep breath, awe filling you.  He’s magnificent.  You want to touch him so badly it nearly hurts and your fingers twitch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re beautiful,” you tell him breathlessly before having another coughing fit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you’re delusional,” Loki says back with an eye roll before moving over to the bed.  “Scoot over, darling, so I can get in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Obediently you do, rolling on your side to face away from him.  The mattress sinks down and then blue arms are encircling you, pulling you against a cold, firm chest.  You whine, the cold making everything worse at first, but then you let out a sigh.  Slowly, you adjust to the temperature of him being here, and find that it’s starting to soothe all your aches.  Your eyes drift close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really really like you, Loki,” you mumble half asleep, and you wonder if he can hear the extra meaning in the words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I really really like you,” he murmurs, repeating your words back to you, lips against your hair.  “But that is a conversation for another time, I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod and as you fall into sleep again, you think you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head before tucking you under his chin.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you liked this one. I had a lot of fun writing it; I'm a sucker for care fics and sick fics, so of course it had to make it's way in.<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts as you read! I may not always respond to them, but they make my day and I get joy out of knowing you're enjoying the story.<br/>See you next week,<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>Welcome to the next installment of Watercolors!<br/>Thank you for all your kind comments on the last chapter, they really mean a lot to me.<br/>On to the story!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, do you have a sec?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy’s voice travels across the room and you look up from what you’re doing.  It’s a few days before Thanksgiving.  You’re finally over the flu and things have been interesting.  You and Loki haven’t really had a chance to talk about what happened, the mumbled confession and admission of feelings; it’s not that he’s avoiding you, per say, or that you’re avoiding him, just more like your timing is off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’ve got your sketch book back in your lap and you’re going through some of your older sketches, trying to decide if any of them are worth turning into actual paintings.  The sketch of Loki from when you first moved currently has your attention.  You actually managed to capture him pretty well, you think.  Maybe you should try to draw him again.  What would he do, you wonder, if you actually asked him to pose...once you’ve had that important conversation, that is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up, Darce?” you ask as you finally tear your eyes away from the page.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She holds up a piece of paper and something apologetic crosses her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate to do this to you, but do you mind running to the store for me?” she asks.  “I would go but Jane and I have another stupid conference call and who knows how long that’s going to last.  It’s not much, I swear.  It’s just last minute stuff for Turkey Day this week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh and stand up to take the list from her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” you tell her.  You scan the list.  “Do you think I could borrow one of the guys to go with me though?  I don’t really feel like going across town by myself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh for sure,” Darcy says.  “Take Thor.  Loki is needed for the meeting we’re having, but Thor would probably be more than happy to go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that moment, the golden haired god walks into the room, whistling to himself.  He sees you and Darcy and offers one of his warm smiles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, Lady Darcy, Lady Y/N,” he greets, voice resonating.  “How are you on this fine day?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty good,” you tell him.  “Hey, do you want to go to the store with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor’s blue eyes light up.  He doesn’t get out much, usually just when he and Loki are needed on Avengers business or when the group of you goes out.  Sometimes he tags along with you and Darcy when you need to run quick errands, but typically he’s pretty content just working out in the backyard or trying to be helpful around the house.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye,” he says pleasantly.  “It is always an honor to accompany a pretty lady while she runs errands.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort and Darcy rolls her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t let Loki hear that,” she mutters and Thor gives her a side eye.  “He’ll fight you for sure because of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean to make no move on his lady,” Thor says, a little confused, and you groan a laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not anyone’s lady, Thor.  At least, not yet?  Anyway, it’s fine,” you tell him as you grab your car keys.  “Let’s go before it gets dark.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor follows you out and before long you’re pulling into the parking lot of the local grocery store.  You find yourself humming a little under your breath as you get out of the car.  It’s a perfectly pleasant afternoon, the hint of autumn beginning to color the breeze.  Thor grabs a cart and starts to push it as you enter the store.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know Loki likes you,” Thor says as you head down the canned goods aisle.  You pause from looking at the different soups - you guys try to keep a stocked pantry and chicken soup just seems like a good idea to keep on hand - and look at him,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” you say quietly.  “At least, I’m pretty sure I know at this point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s…” Thor squints his face a bit as he searches for the right words.  “He’s never quite open, but when he’s around you, I see a side of him I have not seen for some time now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, Darcy said something similar,” you admit as you stare a little too hard at the list in your hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you care for him?” he asks you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,” you admit softly.  “More than I know what to do with, to be honest.  And if you tell him that, I’ll punch you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor nods with a small laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told him yesterday he should take you out,” Thor says sheepishly as you start moving to the next aisle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” you ask, trying to figure out which poultry seasoning you need to pick up while trying not to pay attention to the way your stomach flips at the thought of Loki taking you to dinner as more than friends.  “And what did he say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He threw a pillow at me and told me to mind my own business, then left the room.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That makes you laugh.  The image of Loki acting so childish amuses you to no end.  You shake your head, grab a container of seasoning, and toss it into the cart.  You scratch it off the list and then look back at Thor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We just need to get mac and cheese and then-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y/N?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The voice stops you mid sentence and makes you freeze.  You know that voice.  Of course you know that voice.  You slowly turn and there he is - your ex boyfriend from college.  The last man you dated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Colin,” you say hesitantly.  “I didn’t know you lived here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Colin, blonde hair eyed, blue eyed, and a smirk on his face that you are only too familiar with approaches you and you instinctively take a bit of a step back.  The break up had been incredibly messy and you still, a year later, want nothing to do with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m just passing through, actually,” he tells you, eyeing you up and down.  “How have you been?  You look great.  I saw the obit about your mom in the paper.  I’m sorry for your loss.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t sound sorry and it makes your blood boil.  Oh, what you would give to be able to punch him in his smug face.  Instead you force a smile and take a half step closer to Thor.  Thor seems to have picked up that this is not a pleasant encounter, and he moves a little in front of you.  It’s only then that Colin seems to notice who you’re with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, so you’re hanging out with super heroes now,” he says.  “That’s cool.  Hey, since I’m in the area, how would you like to go for a drink?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t stop the bitter laugh from bubbling out of your lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What, was Ashley not enough that now you’re coming back to me?” you ask, your words sharp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, that was a long time ago,” Colin starts.  “I’ve changed and-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Colin,” you snap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He holds his hands up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s no reason to be rude, bitch, I was just-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The lady has spoken,” Thor rumbles, stepping in.  Electricity fills the air and the hair on the back of your neck stands up.  “You would be wise to leave.  And if you bother Y/N again, it will not be pleasant.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Colin pales and slowly takes a step back, then another, before he turns and flees down the aisle and out of sight.  You sigh a deep breath.  Your nerves are shot and all you want to do is go home.  You look at Thor and he eyes you with concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He will not bother you again,” he tells you and you believe him, nodding quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” you say, your voice a little shakier than you would like.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the trip passes quickly and in a blur, and before you know it you’re back at the house.  You walk in and try to stay composed until you can get to your room.  Running into him leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and no amount of mouthwash will get it out.  Darcy and Loki are sitting in the living room as you walk in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, how was i- are you okay?” Darcy asks as you walk past.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine,” you mutter as you keep walking towards the staircase.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We ran into someone named Colin while we were out,” Thor explains and Darcy lets out a sharp breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh shit,” she says, then gets up as if to follow you.  “Do you want to talk about-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope,” you say sharply as you make your way upstairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once in your room, you close the door a little harder than necessary and then flop on the bed.  As you stare at the ceiling, you force yourself to calm down, to remember that that chapter of your life is over and you don’t need to worry about it.  All you think instead is that you wish you had punched him when you had the chance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a frustrated growl, you roll over on your side and curl into yourself.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers,<br/>I hope you liked this chapter. I struggle writing conflict sometimes, but I'm rather pleased with this. Nothing like an old flame to kick things into gear, am I right?<br/>As always, I love hearing from you! I don't always respond but every comment left means a lot to me, and it makes me so happy to know that you're still enjoying the story.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>I think you're all going to be very happy with this chapter. :)<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A light knock comes on the door several hours later.  Darcy had already tried to talk to you after you secluded yourself, and then Thor had tried to get you to come out, so you suppose it must be Loki’s turn.  Maybe if you just ignore him he’ll go away.  The light knock happens again.  He’s not leaving; he is incredibly stubborn when he wants to be, you’ve come to learn.  With a groan, you get up and open the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?” you ask flatly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki looks at you, almost impassively but with a small crease of worry around his eyes that you recognize.  He holds out a mug with steam rising from it.  A quick whiff and you realize it’s your favorite tea.  He motions for you to take it, so you do.  The mug feels wonderfully solid in your hands.  You take a sip.  He somehow made it just right; there’s a strange feeling of comfort that he knows you well enough to make your tea right.  A little bit of tension leaves your shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” you say quietly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods, still not saying anything, but also not making any attempt to leave.  You sigh a little.  At last he clears his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re all a little worried,” he tells you gently.  “Thor told us what happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ah yes, that at least saves you some grief, you suppose.  Though Darcy already knows the back story and she wouldn’t tell anyone without your consent.  You look over Loki.  He has shared a lot of himself with you.  Maybe it would be safe to do the same.  You chew your lip, thinking.  Well, if this were to turn into anything more, he at least deserves to know, you suppose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to come in?” you ask after a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only if you want me to,” he replies and you smile a little at that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do,” you say quietly, then open the door wider.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki steps into your room and looks to you for direction as you shut the door.  You motion to the bed, settling yourself close by the pillows with your legs crossed.  He lets himself sink onto the mattress near you, feet on the floor but body turned towards you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw my ex,” you explain, looking down into your mug.  “I hadn’t thought about him or seen him in a long time. It was...unexpected.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki nods, then something dark passes over his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you need me to make sure he doesn’t bother you again…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah,” you tell him, a wry smile on your lips.  “He’s not worth the effort.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You take another sip of the tea and run your finger around the rim of the mug.  Loki doesn’t push but you can tell he’s curious about the story there.  You suppose this is where you should start talking.  Another sip and then a breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Colin was my boyfriend when I first met Darcy,” you start, finally looking up at Loki.  He’s watching you with intent eyes.  “It was pretty serious for a while.  We moved in together and everything.  He was...what I thought I wanted.  Sweet, a gentleman, a sense of humor.  But…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shrug, trying to find the words.  Loki reaches over and touches your knee.  You stare at his hand on your jeans.  He gives a small squeeze and you keep going.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought things were fine,” you say quietly.  “I really did.  Until I came home one night and he was fucking another girl in my bed.  The fight was nasty, but at the end of the night, he left and I was alone.  Apparently I wasn’t good enough for him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki lets out a sound that’s almost a growl.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was a fool,” he says lowly, and you force yourself to look at him.  His gaze is dark and there’s something close to anger on his features, though you know it’s not directed at you.  “Anyone would be a fool to have you and then throw you away like that.  You deserve so much more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh dryly and place your hand over his on your leg.  He flips his hand so he’s holding yours.  You look at the way his hand looks holding yours.  It’s a nice look, his long fingers complimenting yours, the way his hand dwarfs yours.  He gives it a squeeze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” you say after a moment.  “I don’t know what I deserve anymore.  I haven’t dated since him.  He was kind of a turn off for the whole thing.  Then mom got sick and pretty much nothing else mattered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You deserve dancing,” Loki says quietly, voice burning with sincerity.  “Dancing and laughter.  You deserve someone who can give you the moon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” you admit, still looking at your hands together.  “I’m too tired to go looking for it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then don’t go looking,” he replies, barely a whisper.  “Maybe it’s in front of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that you look up.  He’s looking at you with eyes that burn, and you remember all the late nights talking, the quiet confession in the dark.  You’re scared to find out.  But still…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it?” you whisper back in the dark.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki hums thoughtfully then lets go of your hand.  Before you can process that, he’s cupping your face between his palms.  His thumbs stroke over your cheeks and you sigh.  Your heart is so loud in your chest that you wonder if he can hear it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I can be who you need me to be,” he admits in a low voice.  “I don’t know if I can give you the moon.  But...I want to try.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your voice catches in your throat and you can’t stop yourself from leaning forward.  Loki makes a decision, you can see it in his face, and then he’s tilting your face up and pressing his lips to yours.  He’s cautious at first, pulling back gently to read you, his eyes darting over your features.  You reach up to hold his wrists, your eyes wide in the darkness.  Something low coils in your stomach, a heat you’ve not felt in a long time; in fact, even with past boyfriends you hadn’t felt this way.  You swallow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would love that,” you confess, your voice shaky.  “You’ve already given me so much already.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki smiles softly at you in the darkness, and then he leans in close enough that his lips barely brush against you when he speaks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs.  “And you have no idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he’s kissing you again, deeper this time, harder.  You kiss him back, and when he goes to part your lips, you open without question.  He licks his way into your mouth and you let out a whimper that he swallows with his own heady groan.  He kisses you as if he’s trying to savor you, and you let yourself melt into him.  He tastes so good, something spicy and clean, and it makes your head spin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you kiss him, you let yourself mingle with him, let yourself explore his mouth.  At last, he pulls back, breathing hard, and rests his forehead against yours.  You try to catch your breath.  This was what you have been fantasizing about for a long time now, and it’s so much better than you expected.  A small breathless giggle escapes your lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I adore you,” Loki whispers.  His thumbs still brush along your cheekbones, the flush that is now there a stark contrast under his cool skin.  “So much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Same,” you breathe back.  “I have for a while.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki chuckles.  After a moment, he releases you.  You try to not feel too disappointed at the lack of contact.  He swallows, then looks at you.  He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to take this slow,” he says.  “I want to give you everything you deserve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod.  Taking it slow sounds good, even if your body is screaming for you to take him here and now.  Your head knows better, and you trust him, you do, but this isn’t something you want to rush into.  It’s been a very long time since you’ve let someone take your heart; this is different - this time you’re giving it willingly.  Still...maybe this is time to savor the moments as they come.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” you reply quietly.  “Slow sounds good.  But...maybe not too slow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki chuckles, the sound deep and rich in the stillness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not too slow,” he agrees, standing up.  He reaches down to take your hand and pull you up.  “Come watch a movie with me?  There’s one on that Darcy mentioned you like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You look up at him and smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A movie sounds nice.  Aren’t you too smart for that though?” you wonder out loud.  “You always seem bored when we watch them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it’s with you, it won’t be boring,” Loki replies with a grin, and you laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You let him guide you out of the room and down to the living room.  It’s empty and quiet; you suppose it’s late enough that everyone has gone to bed.  Loki settles on the couch and you curl up next to him, pressing yourself against him.  He drapes his arm over your shoulders and kisses the top of your head before turning on the movie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This, you decide, is going to be worth it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Finally! I'm pleased. Writing this slow burn was killing me, but I know it's been worth it. <br/>As always, I love hearing what you think in the comments; your feedback gives me motivation to keep writing and keep posting. All of you are lovely and I am thankful for each of you!<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>Happy Wednesday! I am so excited to share another chapter of Watercolors with you.<br/>Now that you've kissed, what will happen? Time will tell!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So what happened after he went upstairs to find you?  He was gone a long time.  I went to bed by then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The day after the kiss you find yourself spilling everything over burgers and fries.  Darcy had practically cornered you this morning, demanding to know what happened, and when you got shy about it, she dragged you by the arm and brought you here for lunch.  Now that you’re away from the house, it’s a lot easier to talk about what happened.  You look at Darcy across from you at the table and shrug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was really upset and he calmed me down,” you tell her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And then what??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And...then he kissed me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t stop the stupid grin from blossoming over your face as you reveal this detail outloud.  It still feels kind of surreal.  Nothing more had happened; you had watched a movie and then gone to bed, but still.  Loki had kissed you and now you’re a thing, and it still makes your head spin a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy lets out a squeal that’s loud enough to cause the people at the table behind you at the diner to turn around and give you a disapproving look.  You’re too happy to get upset, and instead nod your head at them. They look away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finally, oh my god,” Darcy says happily.  “I thought I was going to have to do some divine intervention or something at this point.  Who knew it would take running into your ex for you to magically finally end up together??”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I mean we had technically admitted to at least something when I was sick,” you offer lightly while stirring your iced tea with your straw.  “It just...hadn’t been revisited.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Regardless, I’m glad you guys are finally a thing,” Darcy replies.  “And I won the bet!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” you say, rolling your eyes with a shake of your head.  “I forgot about that.  What did you win exactly?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy takes a bite of her burger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bragging rights, mostly.  Though Thor did say he’d hook me up with Asgardian mead if I won.  Can’t wait to see how strong that’s going to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort into your glass.  Darcy looks so pleased and you can’t help but feel it too.  Things really are clicking into place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I bet it knocks you on your ass,” you reply.  “I bet you get wasted on a single glass, you know, considering gods drink it.  It has to be strong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh man, and with Thanksgiving being tomorrow, it really is like holiday magic!” Darcy says, ignoring you, practically bouncing in her seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t people usually associate holiday magic with Christmas?” you muse and she shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who cares??  What matters is it happened! Oh my god, I’m so happy right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh along with her, and that feeling of giddiness fills you up.  For the first time in so long you feel like maybe you’ll float away because you’re so happy.  It’s an amazing feeling; even with Colin or anyone else, you hadn’t felt this way.  Maybe there’s something to be said about gods among humans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re such a dork,” you tell Darcy, still grinning.  “But I’m glad.  I’m happy too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She settles a bit.  She grows a tiny bit serious, or as serious as she can be for being Darcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, so speaking of love -”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not love, I don’t think, we’ve only just started dating…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She tilts her head to the side and gives you a look, as if you’re missing something obvious.  You glance away towards the window; it’s overcast and you’re wondering if it’s too soon for snow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, maybe not yet, but I bet it will be.  I bet you’ll fall in love and get married and have little Loki babies...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sigh with a shrug, looking back at her with a raised eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s quite a narrative you’ve got there, Darce,” you say, your mind not quite ready to go there yet, your heart twisting a little nervously; you’ve never fallen in love before, and the last time you thought you were close, your heart got destroyed.  “I just want to enjoy what it is for the time being and not think too hard about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair,” Darcy agrees.  “Live in the moment.  You always have struggled a bit with that.  Anyway, what I was going to say is, Thor is trying to figure out how to propose to Jane before the end of the year.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You drop the french fry you’re holding and stare at her, slack jawed for a moment before a giant grin crosses your face.  Over these last few months, Jane has earned a soft place in your heart.  You don’t spend a ton of time together, but the bits that you have spent together has really endeared her to you.  She’s thoughtful and kind, and smart like no other.  When the three of you go out for girls’ night, she always relaxes; she’s the kind of person you can bring problems to and she’ll listen without judgement, you’ve come to discover.  There’s a reason she and Darcy work so well together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s so exciting!” you tell Darcy.  “How is he going to do it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not sure,” she admits.  “He was trying to get ideas from me.  I suggested maybe over Christmas, cause that seems to be a romantic time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod, thinking.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Christmas is a pretty romantic time,” you agree.  “With all the holiday magic and stuff.  Plus it’s just pretty out; the lights, the trees, the snow.  It would make for some really nice engagement photos.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right?  That’s what I was thinking,” Darcy replies.  “Thor is still trying to figure out Earth holidays but he seemed to like the idea when I told him.  He celebrates Yule where he comes from, so Christmas isn’t really that much different.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does he have a ring yet?” you ask, unable to help yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, hang on,” Darcy says, fishing her phone out of her pocket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pulls up a picture of a classy diamond ring, square cut and set in white gold.  It’s simple but elegant and you absolutely can see Jane wearing it.  It’s the kind of ring that won’t get in the way while she works with her tinkering but will still get the point across that she’s married.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s beautiful,” you say quietly.  “He has good taste.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was pretty impressed myself,” Darcy says.  “To be fair though, he’s been watching a lot of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ so maybe that’s what gave him ideas about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh quietly.  A thought hits you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So...if they get married,” you begin.  “How would that work?  Like, Thor and Loki are gods.  They live for a very very long time...and we don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it’s just now starting to dawn on you the complexities that might come from your own relationship with Loki.  You start going down that rabbit hole, the thought of how if it becomes serious and stays that way, he would watch you wilt and die essentially.  You shake your head, pulling yourself from those dark thoughts.  One day at a time, you remind yourself.  One step at a time.  Cross that bridge when it comes, should you even get there.  Things are still too new to be thinking too far out, though the thought of not being with Loki kind of makes you ache.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” Darcy says.  She glances around before leaning in.  “There are these things in the myths called Idunn’s apples, and apparently they can turn a mortal into...not a god, necessarily, but like give mortals the life expectancy to keep up with one.  Plus you’d be stronger and more resilient, and you wouldn’t age like a human any more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A low breath leaves your lips.  So there are ways around the age thing.  You drum your fingers on the table.  The complexity of living that long is one you can’t wrap your head around just yet, but if Jane does marry Thor, it would make sense he would want her to match his life expectancy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How much of it is myth and how much of it is real?” you wonder aloud in a soft voice.  “Do things like that really exist?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To be fair, before Loki and Thor had come to Earth, you hadn’t taken stock in myths to begin with.  But if they are real, granted not like the myths necessarily, then who’s to say the rest isn’t real?  The possibilities could be endless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s real.  They’re real,,” Darcy says equally softly.  “Thor told me.  Odin is in possession of them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is he going to offer her one?” you ask quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think he’s going to try,” Darcy says very quietly and strangely somber.  “He has to get one first though.  I don’t even know how that process would go.  But...yeah, I think Jane might become immortal should she choose to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” you whisper.  “That’s amazing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy clears her throat and sits up again, and her tone is peppy once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But first, Thor has to propose and she has to accept, and then they can have that talk,” she says brightly, the change in mood nearly giving you whiplash.  “Do you think you and Loki would be willing to help me and Thor come up with something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You grin at her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh for sure,” you reply.  “I bet with all of us working together, we can get the best proposal figured out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excellent.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Thank you so much for hanging out with me each week. This story is really so much fun and I'm having a great time sharing it with all of you.<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts as you read! The words you leave me keep me motivated and keep me wanting to keep going with this story.<br/>If you ever want to find me anywhere else, I'm also on Tumblr under Birdgirl90 (I post a lot of random stuff, but I'm always up to chat!).<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>So I want to put a mild warning with this chapter. This fic is, in fact, rated E for Explicit for a reason.<br/>There is NO SMUT in this chapter, however...<br/>It does start to get a bit more graphic going forward. Before a smut chapter, I will give you a warning, I promise.<br/>This chapter has a hint of things to come though.<br/>Please enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You’re sprawled on your back on Loki’s bed, idly staring at the ceiling.  It’s kind of a boring ceiling and you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t need to be Michelangelo and paint it.  Plus Loki is really particular about his things, so you’re not even sure he would let you.  But it’s so tempting…maybe you’ll ask anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe how much turkey is left in the ice box,” Loki muses as he enters the room with two plates, pulling you from your thoughts.  “It’s amazing how much food you bought.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sit up and take the plate that he offers you filled with Thanksgiving leftovers.  He scoots you over on the bed and settles down next to you with his own plate.  Turkey is at least one thing you’ve discovered Loki likes.  He’s still kind of picky with food, but slowly and surely you’re getting him to branch out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To be fair, Lokes,” you tell him, scooping up a forkful of stuffing.  “We didn’t know how much gods would eat so we decided more was better than less.  Besides, now we don’t have to cook or grocery shop for like a week, so it’s a win win if you think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise while eating his food.  Thanksgiving had been a quiet affair, which in it’s own way was nice.  You and Darcy had spent most of the day cooking while Jane had kept Thor busy and out of the way.  Loki had popped in periodically to see what was going on; after the third time he had done it, you tossed him an apron and put him to work despite his eye rolling and muttered protests.  Going overboard with the food was a given, and even though Thor made a huge dent in what you had prepared, there was still enough left over to fill the refrigerator three days later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So how are we going to help Thor propose to Jane?” you ask after a moment of comfortable silence.  “Christmas eve will be here before we know it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm, how indeed,” Loki muses thoughtfully.  “I think the four of us will need to sit down and talk about it.  Possibly what could happen is you and Darcy could distract Jane, maybe get her out of the house for a bit, and I could help Thor set up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That would work,” you agree.  “We can definitely get Jane out for a bit under the guise of needing girl time.  She’s been working herself to the bone anyway, a break would be good for her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki reaches over and tucks a bit of your hair behind your ear.  His fingers trail down your cheek before he moves his hand back, and you sigh.  It’s only been a week since you’ve started dating - at least, you think it’s dating, it’s been a lot of kissing regardless - but you already know you’ll never get tired of the way he touches you.  He touches you as if you’re something beautiful, the way no one else ever has.  You’re almost afraid to think too much into it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m happy for Thor,” Loki says quietly as he picks at the food on his plate.  He pulls up some cranberry sauce and eyes it warily before continuing.  “I know that he and I have had trouble seeing eye to eye for a long time, and I know that I picked and picked at him about Jane for an equally long time.  Which he brought on himself in a way.  But…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what?” you ask, setting your plate down and scooting towards him so that you can turn to face him.  “Also, stick that on the turkey, it makes it taste better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe in a moment,” he tells you, putting his fork on his plate.  “I doubt it will make me like it more though.  Cranberries remind me too much of a poisonous berry on Asgard even though I know they aren’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He scrunches up his nose and you snicker.  He shakes his head then gives you a soft smile before setting his own plate down and caressing your face gently again.  His fingertips along your cheeks cause heat to rise to your face.  He is quiet for a long time until you start to get ancy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what?” you prompt again, trying to get him to finish his thought from before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see the appeal now.  I think I understand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You aren’t able to form words as he leans in and presses his lips to yours.  It’s a sweet kiss, tender and soft, and your eyes flutter shut.  Carefully you kiss him back, still getting the feel for this newness; when he parts his lips, you open for him without thought.  As he kisses you deeply, your head spins.  He’s holding your face as if he’s holding something delicate and precious in his hands, the first time anyone has treated you this way.  Before him, you never felt this fluttering in your body, the fire in your skin.  He is incredible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, you remind yourself as he continues to taste you, he is a god.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you pull back to breathe, he rests his forehead against yours for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m never going to get tired of this,” you whisper breathlessly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good, because I’m never going to stop,” Loki replies quietly, voice low.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moves quickly, and the world spins.   It takes you a moment to realize you’re on your back on the bed again.  He’s above you this time though, blocking your view of the ceiling.  You reach up and trace his face - his cheekbones and along his jaw, your fingers memorizing the way he feels.  His dark hair forms a curtain around his face and his green eyes sparkle as he looks at you.  He takes your hand and kisses your fingertips, one at a time, before holding it to his chest.  You can feel his heart beneath your hand, strong and steady and perhaps a little faster than you would have expected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re wonderful, do you know that?” he asks.  “A marvel, really.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You want to look away, but his eyes won’t let you.  Instead, you let yourself marvel at the softness of his face as he looks at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know about that,” you say, trying to keep your voice light in the midst of the now heavy atmosphere.  “But I do appreciate the compliment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Midgardians are so peculiar,” Loki mutters to himself almost.  “You choose to let me in and you have no idea what that means to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmmm, I’m sure if you didn’t find me, you would find someone else who would,” you find yourself saying, even as the thought makes your chest tighten a little.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki makes a noise of disbelief, then drops your hand.  Your heart sinks a tiny bit as you wonder if you’ve somehow ruined the mood without really meaning to.  But before you can continue down that line of thinking, his lips are crashing against yours again.  The kiss is needy, as if he’s trying to convince you of his words, of things he can’t say out loud.  You don’t fully understand, but you try to as you meet his demands with your own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hips grind into you and you can feel how much he wants you.  It’s a heady experience.  Neither of you have crossed that line yet, have yet to share a bed like that, but you can tell he’s holding back.  You agreed to take it slow, it’s true, but suddenly you find that fire in your belly start to consume you.  You roll your hips against his in response, and the low groan that fills your mouth makes it worth it.  Loki’s hands start to roam your body over your clothes, and you wrap your arms around his neck, your own whimper escaping your lips for him to swallow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those cool hands slip under your shirt and start to slowly slide upwards, and you shiver with the sheer want of it all.  You turn your head so you can breathe, and Loki moves his lips across your jaw, down your neck even as his hands keep roaming gently.  His hips still rock against yours, delightfully grinding against you, and when he sinks his teeth gently in the flesh where your shoulder and neck meet, you let out a breathless laugh that turns into a moan.  He chuckles against you, breath warm on your skin even as you erupt in goosebumps.  You start to sit up so he can rid you of your shirt -</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A loud knock echoes through the room.  Both of you freeze, breathing hard.  You look at Loki and almost laugh at the absurdity of getting caught in such a heady makeout session.  There’s a lot to be said about kisses, you decide, as he climbs off you.  You watch as he straightens his pants and shirt, his need still evident even through his dark jeans.  You sit up yourself and try to smooth your hair a bit, tugging your shirt down again.  His eyes are dark as he stares at you, hungry, and you offer a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We will continue this at a later time,” he says, the words dark and deep as he moves to the door.  “I’m not finished with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s part threat, part promise, and you very much cannot wait to find out what else he has in store for you.  You stand up as he opens the door, revealing a sheepish looking Thor.  Loki leans against the doorframe, and even you can tell from his body language that he is annoyed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?  What is it, oaf?” Loki asks sharply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I apologize for interrupting,” Thor says, glancing over his shoulder at you; you offer him a small wave and he grins at you.  “Jane is looking for you.  Apparently you’re needed for a meeting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Loki says formally.  “I will be there in just a moment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slams the door in Thor’s face before turning back to you and scooping you up into his arms.  You giggle and he grins at you, that dazzling smile that makes you melt and that he only ever gives you.  He kisses you once, deeply, then releases you.  Together, you leave the room, parting ways at the stairs for the rest of the day.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today's chapter!<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts on how the story is progressing. All of your comments are so valuable to me and I know I don't always respond, but I love knowing that you are still hanging out with me and the story.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>It's Tuesday night where I am, but I have a super busy day tomorrow and I worried I wouldn't get this chapter out in a timely fashion tomorrow. So early chapter this week!<br/>Uh, this chapter is kind of the "oh we're together, maybe we should actually go on a 'real' date" chapter.<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What do you think?” you ask Darcy as you stare at yourself in the fitting room.  “It’s not too much, is it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The outfit you’re currently modeling is a simple black dress with gold inlays and delicate details.  It’s classy and pretty at once, and the way it skims over your body keeps things you want to hide from being seen while emphasizing where you need it to.  You aren’t typically one for dresses, but this is a special circumstance.  Loki had invited you to dinner for tonight, and even though it seems kind of silly since you live with the man (or god, rather)  and see him every day, there’s a part of you that wants to dress up for it.  It’s been a very very long time since you’ve been taken to dinner by someone charming; you want to savor the moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Also, you have absolutely no idea where on Earth Loki is taking you, so a simple but nice outfit should cover all your bases.  Darcy had been more than happy to come with you this morning.  In fact, you would say she’s probably having a better time with this than you are. You twirl once in the mirror, enjoying the way the dress swishes.  Darcy grins at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s perfect,” she says and you smile back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, third time is the charm they say,” you reply.  “Those first two dresses were awful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god, they were,” Darcy agrees.  “This one is perfect.  He’s going to lose it when he sees you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort and shake your head, then head back into the stall to change back into your jeans, though your memory drifts for a moment to the make out session the day prior.  You quickly force yourself to push that to the side; now is not the time to be fantasizing about what could happen or fantasizing about what could have happened had you not been interrupted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doubtful,” you call over the door as you fumble with the zipper.  “He’s seen me every day basically for like three months, I doubt the dress is going to change anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy sighs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, you really haven’t dated since Colin, have you,” she says as you step out into the main room, dress in tow.  “Guys like it when you dress up.  Yes, he thinks you're pretty now, but just wait.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” you say after a moment.  “It really has been a while.  Maybe you’re right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have I been wrong yet?” she asks as you pay and leave the store.  “About this, that is.  I know I’ve been wrong about other things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, like convincing me to mix vodka and tequila that one time,” you joke, scrunching up your face.  “I can still smell it if I think too hard about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was one time, and I was already wasted,” Darcy chirps.  “But seriously, I was right about him liking you, wasn’t I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were,” you agree.  “It will be interesting to see what he does when he sees me.  Where do you think he’s taking me, do you know?  I’m still not very familiar with all the places around here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy’s eyes shine, telling you that she knows more than she’s letting on or than she’s going to tell you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have an idea of where, but...it’s a surprise,” she tells you.  “Live in the moment, remember?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right right,” you say.  “Live in the moment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you pull into the driveway of the house, Loki and Thor are out on the front lawn.  It looks like Thor is trying to do something with his hammer - when is he not - and Loki is just kind of watching, unimpressed.  When he sees you though, his eyes light up.  He makes his way over and sweeps you into his arms, and kisses you once, very thoroughly.  It makes your head spin a tiny bit and when you pull back, you can feel heat in your cheeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you get?” Loki asks in his low voice, still not fully releasing you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You grin at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a surprise,” you inform him, then move out of his arms so you can go inside.  “You’ll see soon enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His green eyes darken just a bit and your stomach clenches.  Maybe, just maybe, Darcy is right on this too.  Before he can say anything, you dart into the house and up to your room to get ready.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>**************************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You glance over yourself once more in the mirror.  You’ve done your hair, put on eyeliner and pulled out your favorite lipstick, the kind that won’t rub off when eating or drinking (or kissing, you think with a grin, feeling very much like a teeanger in a way).  You don’t usually wear make up at this point; when you do leave the house, it tends to be with the others just for a quick dinner out or for shopping.  Make up has never really been big on your priorities.  But as you stare in the mirror, you can’t help but think that maybe there’s something to be said for using it for special occasions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A quiet knock on your door makes your heart skip a beat.  Dating while being in the same house is interesting.  For instance, like right now, Loki comes to pick you up from your room instead of from your apartment.  But that doesn’t take away the feeling of butterflies that fill you as you open the door.  Loki stands there, tall and regal.  He’s wearing a suit jacket and a white shirt over jeans; your dress fits perfect with the semi business casual thing he has going on.  He looks at you and offers a charming smile, though he can’t hide the momentary glimmer of lust that fills his eyes.  You grin back at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look lovely,” he says formally and you laugh at him for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look nice too,” you tell him.  “So where are we going?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Some place I think you’ll like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki offers you his arm and escorts you downstairs, and you can’t help but feel anticipation building.  It’s been so long since someone actually took you out, and on Loki’s arm you can’t help but feel special.  He directs you to Darcy’s car, opening the door for you and helping you inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, do you know how to drive?” you ask as he gets in the driver seat and starts the engine.  “Do you need me to drive?  I know Thor doesn’t drive...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, trust me,” he assures you with a grin, teeth flashing.  “I got Darcy to teach me not too long ago.  It’s not as hard as they’ll have you believe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno...I failed my driver’s license the first time,” you admit a little sheepishly and he laughs quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car ride passes comfortably and you watch the lights of the town around you.  Before long, you’re pulling up to a fairly nice looking building.  It takes you a minute to realize he’s brought you to an Italian restaurant.  As Loki escorts you in, the rich scent of garlic and tomatoes fills the air.  It’s been a long time since you’ve been to a nice restaurant, and Italian food is a weakness of yours. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Darcy said you like pasta,” Loki tells you, almost a little uncertain as you’re seated in a booth in a corner of the restaurant.  “I hope this is okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“More than okay,” you tell him with a smile, glancing over the menu.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fact that he made the effort to ask Darcy about you - about what you like so that he could plan this - makes you feel warm inside.  It’s such a considerate gesture, one you suspect most people wouldn’t expect from Loki.  You smile to yourself as you figure out what you want.  Loki orders wine for the two of you and you order your favorite pasta dish.  He passes you the basket of bread and you happily take a piece. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> It’s only then that you realize you’re starving.  When you and Darcy had been out, you were too nervous about tonight to really eat anything.  It seems laughable now that you were nervous as you chat with the handsome man across from you.  Loki is nothing but wonderful through dinner.  He tells you about what he’s been reading in his free time and more of what he does for Jane.  You think maybe you’re starting to understand bits and pieces of it now, which pleases you a bit.  He asks you about your paintings and you tell him about how your Etsy store is picking up business.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just need to make some business cards, I think,” you tell him brightly.  “I’m really pleased with it.  I’m hoping that maybe one day I’ll get commissioned somewhere and eventually get that gallery show.  But...baby steps for now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki gives you a smile over his wine glass and nods his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll get there,” he tells you.  “I’m certain of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope so,” you reply, tracing the rim of your own glass with your finger.  “I keep adding to my portfolio.  Eventually someone is going to see.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your art is incredible, and so are you,” Loki says quietly.  “And one day, the world will see that too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki pays the bill and then stands, offering you his hand.  You take it gladly.  He guides you back to the car and gets you safely home.  He walks you in, and stops in front of your room door.  You look at him, expectantly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just because our living situation isn’t typical for dating, I would still like it if you kiss me goodnight,” you tell him, a little more boldly perhaps than you usually would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirks at you, then cradles your face in his hands and tilts your head up.  He kisses you slowly and sweetly, the opposite of the last time he kissed you.  You sigh and he pulls back, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you for tonight,” he says softly, fingers lingering on your face.  He lowers his hand and steps back.  “Sleep well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he retreats back to his room, you let yourself into your own.  Grinning, you lean against the door.  His words from dinner still echo in your mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And one day, the world will see that too,” you whisper to yourself.  “I hope so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When you go to bed, you’re filled with hope about what might be.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey again!<br/>Thank you so much for taking the time to read. It makes me so happy that so many of you are enjoying the story as it progresses.<br/>As always, I would love to hear your thoughts as the story goes! I don't often respond but every comment makes me happy and keeps me wanting to update.<br/>All of you are lovely and I wish you a great week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>Happy Wednesday! I can not believe it is March all over again. What even was this past year, honestly. <br/>I'm so happy I've had this story to work on and to share with you! <br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s hard for you to settle.  It’s a common theme since your mother passed, these restless sleepless nights, and even though you’ve settled in well at the house, you find you still occasionally have trouble.  Tonight is even worse, because you’ve had a taste of Loki over the past few days, and you find yourself needing more.  The way his fingers trace you, the way he says your name, the kisses and touches...you hate being alone in your room anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> With a sigh, you glance at the clock.  It’s 1 in the morning.  His room is just across the hall from you, and he’s prone to these sleepless nights too.  Afterall, that’s part of why you two bonded so easily.  Maybe he wouldn’t mind if you slipped over?  You have trouble thinking that Loki would be annoyed with you at this point.  It’s worth a shot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You creep out of bed and into the hall, until your feet find you in front of Loki’s door.  You raise a hand to knock, but a sound from inside freezes you in place.  It’s a low deep groaning, a sound of horror if you ever heard one.  It causes your blood to run cold and the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.  He sounds like he’s dying, or fighting someone perhaps. Tentatively, you knock on his door.  There’s no response.  You quickly run through your mind on what could possibly be happening.  You know Loki has seen some seriously horrible things in his life; is it possible he’s having flashbacks?  What do you do in that situation?  He mentioned once he has nightmares, but this sounds like so much more...more like a night terror perhaps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without giving much more thought beyond the fact that you want to help him, you open his door.  It’s dark in his room, the new moon offering no light, but you can see well enough.  Loki lays sprawled out on his bed, the sheets rumpled and disheveled around him.  You take a step forward, closing the door behind you softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki?” you call, your voice unsure in the dark.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t respond.  Instead a low growl escapes him, that sound of horror and despair you had heard earlier outside his door.  He starts rolling in his sleep, moving from one side to the other.  A muffled cry fills the room.  You were right, he’s having a nightmare, you realize.  It sounds like a pretty horrific one at that too.  What do you do?  Is it dangerous to wake him, or do you just let him suffer?  Another groan fills the air and does away with any of your indecisiveness.  Swiftly you move to the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Loki,” you call, voice sharp.  “Hey!  Wake up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand reaches up and grabs your shirt as if to throw you across the room; for a moment, you’re startled.  There’s sweat on his paler than normal face, perspiration down his neck and soaking into his sleep shirt.  You wonder for a brief moment how long this nightmare has been going on and what he could possibly be seeing.  You touch his arm, and his eyes snap open.  It takes a moment, but you watch as recognition fills those green eyes you’ve come to adore so much, followed by shame.  Loki drops your shirt, then he sits up.  He buries his face in his hands, not looking at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.  Did I hurt you?” he asks, voice muffled and rough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” you tell him.  “I couldn’t sleep, so I came to see if you were up and…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you saw that,” he finishes for you, his voice flat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a lie and you both know it.  He sighs, then moves his hands, still not looking at you.  He readjusts so that his legs touch the floor, his normally straight back slumped over.  You aren’t sure what the best course of action is here; after a long moment, you sit on the bed next to him.  He glances at you out of the corner of his eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki tilts his head to the ceiling and exhales slowly.  Finally, finally, he looks at you.  He looks exhausted, his eyes a bit puffy.  His face is still damp and his hair is all over the place.  He gives you a wry, faint not quite smile, his eyes haunted.  The silence stretches.  You reach over and place your hand on his knee; he stares at it for a moment, before hesitantly covering it with his own hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s too much to tell,” he says after a while.  “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How can I help?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your words are small in the darkness that engulfs you both.  You feel helpless, worry eating at you.  Here is this person you care about with every fiber of your being, and there is very little you can do to help the situation.  Loki squeezes your hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need...a shower, I think,” he tells you, voice uncertain.  “I don’t....”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki looks you in the eye and swallows.  You reach out with your free hand and gently brush the dark locks back that are matted to his forehead.  He closes his eyes with a shuddering breath.  Gradually, his breaths become easier as you sit there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to help, or?” you ask when he makes no move to stand up, hesitating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki offers you a small smirk, slowly starting to come back into himself though his eyes still have a hollowness in them that worries you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Another night, perhaps,” he tells you.  Something vulnerable colors his words though he’s trying to play it off.  “But...would you stay?  Until I get back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sounds so unsure of himself.  You hate it.  He’s so confident in his daily life, this side of him breaks your heart.  At the same time, a small measure of pride fills you; he’s not pushing you away, though he very easily could, or shutting you out like he might have maybe a month ago.  There is some trust here, and you remind yourself not to take that for granted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” you tell him.  “I’ll be here.  Tell you what, while you shower, I’ll make us tea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods and takes another deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to sit downstairs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t have to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You stand up and offer your hand to help him up.  He takes your hand even though he doesn’t need the help and rises next to you.  You walk with him to the bathroom, still holding his hand.  He gives yours a gentle squeeze, then releases you.  You tug on his sleep shirt - a cotton tee, nothing fancy - and pull him down so you can place a gentle kiss on his lips.  He lets you, lets you linger a moment, then pulls back and enters the bathroom.  You wait until you hear the water running before going down stairs to make tea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time you come back upstairs and enter his room, Loki is out of the shower and changed into a clean tee shirt and clean shorts.  His dark hair is damp around his shoulders and he still looks shaken, but when he sees you, some of himself is back in his green eyes.  You stick the tea on the bedside table before you settle on the bed with your back against the headboard and motion for him to come join you.  There is a moment of hesitance before he crosses the room and gets into the bed.  You tuck the covers around him and yourself, then gently tug on his shoulder.  He gets the hint and with a bit of movement, he wraps his arms around you and lays his head on you.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You start to comb your fingers through his hair and Loki relaxes a little, some of the tension leaving his shoulders and body.  Eventually he sighs and settles himself a little more against you, a little more deeply into the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How’s this?” you ask quietly and he hums his approval.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Better,” he says gently.  He sounds like himself again, albeit a bit tired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want me to stay tonight?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods, his breath warm against you as he sighs.  When you look down, his eyes are shut and he looks less pale.  You scoot a little down the bed so that his head rests against your shoulder, your fingers still in his hair.  You place a kiss to the top of his head.  If this is what he needs, you are more than happy to give it.  He still doesn't want to talk about it and you’re not going to push.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll stay as long as you need me,” you tell him though you’re not sure he’s awake at this point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m holding you to that,” he murmurs as he drifts off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile to yourself.  This, at least, is an easy promise to keep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>Thank you so much for reading! <br/>As always, I love hearing from you. Your comments make my day.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Happy Wednesday! I have a few brief announcements before we get into today's chapter.</p>
<p>The first is that there was some concern last week on the rating of this story (it's currently at an E), and I want you all to know I understand and appreciate the concern.  I assure you, there is a reason for the rating.  These are adults in an adult relationship and I stand by my rating for future chapters.<br/>I have also done a Tumblr post going into more detail if that's a concern still, which you can find here: </p>
<p>https://birdgirl90.tumblr.com/post/645113195293556736/psa-from-birdie</p>
<p>The other quick note is that this chapter (and a few after it) involves Christmas.  I know not everyone celebrates Christmas, and this Reader is basically agnostic, but the season is a big thing and it's more focused on family and tradition.</p>
<p>Alright, enough babble, let's go to the chapter! :D<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You love the holidays, and Christmas is most definitely your favorite.  There’s still a small sting of your mother not being here, and you suspect that it’s going to be there for a long time.  But being in a house full of these weird misfits is making up for it and you find yourself humming with Christmas carols on the stereo system as you string lights around the tree in the living room in the evening.  It’s cozy and warm, and the only light comes from the soft fairy lights you’ve strung along the top of the walls and now on the huge tree.  That’s the perk of having a vaulted ceiling in the living room - you were able to get a massive evergreen for the holiday.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy and Jane are working in the lab - apparently they are getting very close on what SHIELD wants them to do, which even with still typing Jane’s notes you have no idea what it is - and Thor is down with them, trying to be useful.  They’re supposed to help you find the ornaments for the tree when they’re done.  You suspect they’re hiding somewhere either in the basement or the garage.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You twirl yourself in the room, still humming, just enjoying yourself.  You miss the silent footfalls as they approach and a small squeak escapes you as you’re swept up into Loki’s arms.  He kisses you once, swiftly.  He then proceeds to dance with you around the small room, grace and elegance wrapped up with a handsome grin.  You stumble a bit on your own feet, but it doesn’t seem to matter as he continues to swish you around.  At one point, he dips you back and you stare at the tree upside down for a brief moment, giggles escaping you before you can stop them.  His lips press into the hollow of your throat and then he pulls you up again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you need some help?” he asks once you’re upright again, a small smile on his lips.  You remember for a moment when he would only give you a ghost of a smile; these real smiles feel like a treasure.  “The top seems rather high.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm, maybe,” you say lightly as you slip out of his arms to get a better look at the tree.  “I was just going to use a chair, but if you want to do it, be my guest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve a better idea,” he says with a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before you can ask what it is, he swoops you up again.  This time though, he settles you on his shoulders.  You laugh for the absolute absurdity of it and also out of nerves, your hands holding tight to his hair.  You’re a grown woman, and not a very petite one at that, and he’s got you sitting on his shoulders like it’s nothing.  You glance down; the floor seems very far away and you don’t like heights much.  But Loki’s hands on your legs calm you.  He won’t let you fall.  You have to at least believe that, even if your brain is convinced you’re going to tip over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Darling, I’m not going to drop you,” Loki says, a hint of laughter in his voice.  “Could you perhaps loosen your grip a bit?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” you say sheepishly, trying to let go of his hair.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a moment or two, but you manage to untangle your hands from his dark locks.  You don’t like not having anything to hold onto though so you lean a bit forward to rest your hands on your thighs.  Loki reaches down to grab the strand of lights you had previously been stringing and hands them to you.  You take a deep breath and take the lights, and focus only on making the tree pretty.  Once you get a sense of balance, you’re able to breathe a bit easier and even relax a tiny bit.  Loki for his part does well, keeping his hands on your legs and moving around the tree to help you evenly distribute the lights.  At last, he steps back with you still on his shoulders and you both admire the tree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beautiful,” he says quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll look even better with ornaments on it, but I couldn’t find those by myself,” you admit.  “It might be a year of just lights unless Thor can find them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki tilts his head up to look at you and you can’t help but lean down and press your lips to his in a quick kiss.  You lift your head when you hear heavy foot steps on the stairs.  Loki turns a little too quickly and you flail your arms to keep your balance.  He reaches up a hand to steady you.  Thor laughs, rich and warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Found the ornaments!” he declares proudly, holding up a large storage box triumphantly as Jane and Darcy appear from the basement steps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooo, the lights look really good!” Darcy tells you happily.  “Nice job!  Also though, how have you not fallen yet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki scoffs and you laugh a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not entirely sure, but Loki has me so I have faith I won’t fall,” you tell Darcy while Loki rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“As if I would drop you,” he mutters, indignant, and it just makes you laugh again.  You tug lightly on his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I trust you...but...can you let me down now?” you ask Loki, still a little off balance.  “I wanna go through the ornament box.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a blur of motion that leaves your head spinning a bit, you’re on your feet back on the ground.  You can’t help the relieved breath that you let out.  Thor sets the box down and you make your way over to it, Darcy already settling on the ground, ready to go through it.  Jane goes into the kitchen as you and Darcy open the box.  Loki settles himself on the couch, Thor on the other end, and watches you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bit by bit, ornaments come out.  Some are your pretty standard ones - the big balls of shiny red and silver, a few snowflake cut outs.  You stand up and take them to the tree, starting to place them as Darcy hands them to you.  A rhythm starts, and the music continues to play.  Eventually Jane emerges from the kitchen with a few mugs of hot chocolate.  It almost feels cliche; who would have thought such a sense of domesticity would fill the house?  Loki gets to his feet to help you once the bottom half of the tree is full.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But suddenly Darcy stops handing you ornaments.  You hear her let out a breath, and you turn to look at her.  She’s holding an ornament, one of spun glass that shines in the lights, and you feel like the wind has been knocked out of you.  It’s one your mom had gifted her for the holidays last year.  Last year...her last Christmas before the illness took her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your mom really was great,” Darcy says quietly.  “She always made me feel like I was part of the family.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say after a long moment.  You take the ornament from her and twist it this way and that, watching the light play through it.  “Christmas was her favorite.  She never wanted anyone to spend it alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even as you speak, that dull ache fills you.  She won’t be here this year.  This is the first year you’ll be without her cookies or her spark.  Gently, you hang the ornament on the tree where it can be seen.  Darcy digs around in the box - you had merged all your holiday stuff with hers when you moved in what feels like a lifetime ago - and pulls out another recognizable ornament: a paint pallet covered with glitter, the one your mom got you last year.  Silently she hands it to you, and her eyes are shining in the light.  It’s not just you who misses her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She bought us ornaments every year,” you explain to Loki as you hand the ornament to him.  “It was a tradition she started when I was a kid, and then when Darcy started hanging out with me, mom just automatically included her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She sounds like a wonderful woman,” Jane says softly and you nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She would have loved you guys, I’m certain of it,” you say quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The image of Thor and Loki getting Christmas pajamas and ornaments makes you smile.  Your mom would have welcomed them in with open arms, would have embraced Loki joyously as your boyfriend, would have made everyone help with cookies.  Loki gives you a squeeze on your shoulder and it’s only then that you realize you’re crying.  Embarrassed, you wipe your face.  He kisses the top of your head.  You attempt a watery smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The dead are never truly gone,” Thor says solemnly.  “And we’re here so you aren’t alone either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You suppose he’s right.  You’ve never given much thought about an afterlife, but the idea of your mom still being here in spirit makes you smile a tiny bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what, we should go ornament shopping,” Darcy says suddenly.  “Keep the tradition alive.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you reply, the idea filling you with warmth.  “And then make cookies.  Mom wouldn’t want us to miss out.  I still have some of her recipes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have the one for that killer gingerbread she used to make?” Darcy asks, her face lighting up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do!” you say, suddenly feeling a bit better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Darcy says.  “I know what we’re doing this week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki wraps his arms around you and sways you gently from side to side, a soothing motion, his chin resting on your head.  Some of the somberness of the room has passed, with Jane snickering at Thor getting whipped cream in his beard and Darcy still going through the box.  As you look around at your friends and feel the warmth in Loki’s embrace, you find that maybe the holiday season is going to be alright.  It’s hard to be sad when surrounded by people you care about, you realize, and it hits you then - every single person in this room cares about you, even though most of them have only known you for a few months.  This house is full of people who have accepted you with arms open, just because you were a friend of Darcy’s.  Your eyes sting a little, though not from sorrow this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This, you think, is family.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Thank you so much for reading!  This story is so fun and I love it so much, and I'm so happy you all are enjoying it too!<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts and your comments always fuel me on to keep going.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Happy Wednesday! We had a blizzard this past weekend, and it's snowing yet again today. It's a great day to curl up with some Loki and Reader, wouldn't you say? (:<br/>Enjoy the chapter!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After the tree decorating and a simple dinner of ordered pizza, you sit alone on the couch with Loki.  He’s reading a book and you’re staring at the tree, just enjoying the quiet moment.  It’s growing late, but you find you’re loath to leave the comfort of this room.  There’s a lot to be said about softness and quietness and just...taking a break from everything.  A yawn escapes you, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by the man beside you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really should go to bed,” he says quietly.  “It’s been a long day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s right and you know he is.  The idea of being by yourself with your thoughts is daunting though.  At least while you’re sitting here, the comfort of being with someone else is enough to keep your thoughts from drifting to places you’d rather they didn’t go.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to be alone,” you confess softly.  “I don’t want to be by myself in the dark.  Maybe I’ll just sleep on the couch and keep the tree going.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki hums a moment, then closes his book gently.  He looks over at you, his eyes soft and sparkling in the light from the tree.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come to bed with me then,” he says.  “That way you won’t be alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You raise an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just for sleep,” he tells you, a small smirk on his face.  “Unless you want other things.  I will not turn you down.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought is incredibly tempting and it’s definitely something you’ve thought about, but tonight you’re too tired to go there.  The idea of being wrapped in his arms though is pleasant, and you won’t be alone, and maybe it will help with his nightmares too.  With the exception of the night of Loki’s nightmare and the time you were sick, when was the last time you let yourself just share a bed with someone?  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” you say, a small smile on your face.  “That would be nice.  I don’t know why we aren’t already sharing a bed all things considered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s because I’m trying to be a gentleman,” Loki says with a sigh.  “You make it hard sometimes though.  If you knew half the thoughts I have at any given moment…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He trails off and you shake your head, fighting a small laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You realize I’m a grown woman, right?” you tease as you both stand up.  “It’s not anything I haven’t thought about either.  This isn’t like the olden days, either.  I’m not breakable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki turns off the lights and starts to guide you the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I recognize that,” he says quietly.  “Perhaps I’m afraid of pushing you.  Another time then.  Tonight, you need sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You let out a sigh.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t pushing me,” you tell him as you move to get your pajamas.  “And we never did finish where we left off after Thanksgiving.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s true.  After that intense...moment...things have actually been relatively chaste between the two of you.  Mostly because you’ve both been so busy, you just don’t have the energy for it, with your store keeping you busy making prints as people buy holiday gifts and Loki being needed for more and more meetings with Jane.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t miss Loki’s low chuckle, the dark edge that colors it making your stomach clench.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have not forgotten,” he says lowly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You get ready for bed quickly, and as you emerge from the bathroom, you wonder if maybe you should be self conscious of your pajamas.  They aren’t anything to write home about, just a comfy tee and some long flannel pants; maybe you should invest in some more...enticing ones?  But when Loki sees you, that line of thought drops.  He holds his arms out for you and there is warmth in his eyes.  It doesn’t matter what your pajamas look like, you decide.  He’s seen you in them before anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You walk over to him and let him pull you into a tight embrace before guiding you into his room and shutting the door behind you.  It smells so lovely in here, like spice and the winter air.  It’s a little cooler in here than the rest of the house too - it takes you a moment to realize he has his window opened a little bit to let some of the winter air in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it’s too cold, I can close the window,” Loki tells you as you make your way into the bed.  “I tend to run cooler, as you know.  I prefer to have it open at night, but I understand if it’s too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t mind at all,” you reply, scooting over so he can get under the covers too.  “When I lived alone, I used to keep my windows open practically year round.  The only time I closed them was when it dropped below a comfortable temperature.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki climbs into the bed with you, and for a moment, the two of you just lay there, next to each other.  You look at each other; he grins at you and you laugh a little.  How awkward can two adults be?  He opens his arms for you and without thinking you let yourself lay against him, his heart beneath your ear.  His arms encircle you and you sigh.  You close your eyes.  Loki hums something under his breath, soft and sweet, and you feel yourself drifting off already.  There is a sense of peace here, one you don’t feel often.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could get used to this,” Loki says after a long moment in a near whisper, as if to himself.  You suspect he thinks you’re already asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” you reply faintly as you fall further into sleep.  “I don’t know how I’m going to sleep alone after this...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last thing you hear before completely falling asleep is Loki’s low chuckle, rumbling through his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***************************************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So we really just need to distract Jane then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The four of you - Thor, Darcy, Loki, and you - are sitting at the diner, creating plans to help Thor with his proposal to Jane.  You and Darcy sit on one side of the table, Loki and Thor on the other, and there’s a piece of paper in the middle of the table with ideas written on it.  So far what you’ve come up with is that you and Darcy will take Jane to get her nails done.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We get her out of the house,” Darcy continues.  “And then while we’re gone, the two of you can prepare.  The tree is already a nice detail and the lights look good, so it shouldn’t take much.  We’ll need to get the dinner stuff without her knowing.  I think we can do it though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outside, the sky is grey and overcast, and the wind has picked up.  It’s supposed to snow at any moment now, and you can’t wait for it.  Snow will make the holidays actually feel like the holidays, and with two weeks until Christmas, it’s time for some holiday magic.  You look back at the straw wrapper in your hands that you’ve been fidgeting with, and with a little bit of concentration, fold it over itself multiple times until it’s a tiny triangle, like the paper footballs you used to make in grade school.  Loki looks bored, but you know it’s practiced indifference more than anything; without much thought, you flick the tiny triangle at him while he’s looking at Thor.  He doesn’t even blink or look at you, just catches the triangle before it can hit him in the face.  He turns and raises an eyebrow at you, face still indifferent, but you can see a glimmer of mischief in his green eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello, are you listening?” Darcy asks, poking you on the shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m listening, we take Jane out so the guys can get ready,” you reply, still staring at Loki with a half smile on your face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, you guys are awful,” Darcy groans.  “I feel like I’m interrupting something.  I always feel like I’m interrupting something, come to think of it.  Can you two please focus?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You look over at her and grin.  She rolls her eyes and you snicker.  Then another thought hits you and you turn to Thor, suddenly sobering up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, so Darcy told me about the apples,” you say slowly.  “Are you...going to get one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki folds his hands and you get the feeling he’s suddenly a lot more intent on the conversation than he’s been this entire time.  Thor clears his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have already acquired one,” he confesses quietly, or as quietly as his booming voice will let him be.  “I intend to offer it to Jane after we get married.  Provided she says yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy lets out a low breath and you can’t help but feel like this whole thing is surreal.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you get it?” she asks, curiosity on her face.  “I thought Odin hated mortals and especially Jane.  He called her a goat once, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Odin…I think perhaps he is getting ready to step down,” Thor muses.  “I managed to get one on my last trip there, and he mentioned a king needing a queen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You feel Loki’s gaze on you, and you venture a glance at him.  He’s appraising you and beneath that indifference face, you get the feeling he’s thinking hard about something.  It’s a little intense; you look back at Thor to avoid his piercing eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, she’ll say yes,” Darcy says with confidence.  “With a plan like this, you can’t go wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor strokes his beard, then grins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you are right, Lady Darcy,” he says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outside, it begins to snow.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed how the story is progressing.<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts and feelings about the story and what's happening. Your comments mean a lot to me.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>This is a fun and fluffy chapter this week. I had fun writing it. Sometimes you just need some silly goodness in your life. (:<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Once the snow starts, it doesn’t relent for several days. You sit inside the day before Thor’s big Christmas eve proposal, and just watch the fat fluffy flakes fall down.  The finishing touches on the plan are in place.  You just need tomorrow to go off without a hitch, and of course for Jane to say yes when Thor proposes.  You have absolutely no doubt that she will.  It makes you smile.  Your thoughts are interrupted by Darcy bounding into the room, bundled up in a coat, scarf, ear muffs, and mittens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Snowball fight,” she says breathlessly.  “You gotta help me.  I need to take down the guys.  Thor and Loki are going at it - Thor started it - and then they got me involved, and now I have two gods trying to gang up on me and you really just gotta come help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You laugh at her, shaking your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t we too old for that sort of thing?” you ask, tilting your head to the side.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you saying you’re turning down an opportunity to throw snowballs at Loki?” she asks in response.  “I don’t care how old you are, think of what the possibilities are here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought of pelting Loki with snowballs is oddly tempting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, alright,” you relent, standing up.  “Let me get my coat.  What about Jane?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s taking pictures at a safe distance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, okay,” you say.  “I guess that makes sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Five minutes later, you find yourself standing outside, forming snowballs with your gloved hands and tossing them in a pile.  A block of snow solidly hits you on your shoulder, and you look up.  Thor grins at you and Loki feigns innocence, but you can see something in his eyes that tells you he was the one who launched it.   This officially means war, you decide.  You huddle with Darcy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need a plan,” you whisper as another snowball comes towards you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll distract them,” she says.  “You start launching the pile.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Deal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a massacre.  Snow is flying everywhere, and at one point you get hit in the face.  Annoyed, you land a good shot at Loki when he isn’t paying attention.  It continues on for a while, until you and Darcy are both out of breath from flinging snow and dodging.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are we winning?” you ask breathlessly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno,” Darcy says.  “Look.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki walks into the middle of the yard, his hands raised in the universal surrender position.  You glance at Darcy who raises an eyebrow at you in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is he doing?” you whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He baffles me on a good day,” she whispers back.  “Your guess is as good as mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a moment of thought, you decide to go meet him part way.  The two of you stand toe to toe in the snow.  You’re aware of Darcy and Thor watching from their respective sides of the yard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor and I are willing to negotiate,” Loki says, though his eyes sparkle.  “Truce?  Perhaps we can strike a deal and all three of us can take him down.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm, I dunno,” you reply cautiously.  “Why would you turn on your brother?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because this whole thing is childish and I want it to be over,” Loki grumps, making you laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you liked the cold?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not when I’m having snow thrown at me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” you tell him.  “Truce.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opens his arms to hug you and you let yourself melt into him.  Suddenly, you feel something cold and wet go down the back of your shirt.  You shriek and pull back.  He’s dumped snow down the back of your coat and shirt, the cheater.  Loki backs away quickly with a wicked grin on his face.  You do the only thing you can think of - you grab an armful of snow and follow him as he starts to run.  It’s futile, you know, as he is a god and a warrior and can move so much faster than you can, but you have to at least try for dignity’s sake.  Vaguely you’re aware of Darcy and Thor laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> You finally catch up to him at one of the trees on the edge of the yard.  You suspect he’s letting you catch him.  He grins at you, waiting for you to try to cover him in snow.  You act like you’re going to, then at the last moment, you launch your entire body at him.  He shimmers out of view - it was just an illusion.  You look around quickly, but not quickly enough.  Out of nowhere Loki dashes at you, wrapping arms around you and tackling you into a snowbank.  It’s very cold and very wet, and you shiver.  He grins above you like a cheshire cat, then rubs his cold nose against yours for a moment before pulling back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You suck,” you mumble, though you’re having trouble keeping your own smile off your face.  “You cheated.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re involved with a trickster,” he says teasingly, voice light and lilting.  He reaches up and you realize he’s not wearing gloves as he brushes some snow off your face.  “What did you honestly expect, darling?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You roll your eyes and he kisses the tip of your nose.  You lean up for a real kiss, and as he presses his cool lips to yours, snow rains down on him as Darcy and Thor dump armfuls of the cold stuff onto him.  He frowns and you giggle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Turnabout fair play,” you say with your own grin and he rolls his eyes at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki stands up and offers you his hand, pulling you to your feet as the sun slowly starts to sink behind the horizon.  You beam at him and he kisses your forehead.  The four of you walk to the house.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>******************</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything is set in motion as you, Jane, and Darcy drive back to the house.  You’ve spent the day getting manicures and going to a movie, just a fun way to kill time until the big moment.  The sun is slowly starting to set, causing everything to be covered in that cool hazy light that only winter can bring, full of shades of violets and pinks.  Jane looks at her hand while you drive; she had picked a pretty pink color, with hints of gold in it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t remember the last time I had my nails done,” she says lightly.  “This was actually really nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You meet Darcy’s eyes in the rearview mirror, and she grins at you.  You can’t stop the bubbling excitement in your chest at the thought of what is to come.  You pull into the driveway and start walking to the house.  Loki comes out to greet you, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he wraps his arm around your waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everything is ready,” he whispers, a hint of his own grin on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect,” you whisper back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane suspects nothing as she walks into the dark house.  She looks at you, confused, and you follow her in with Loki and Darcy.  The only light comes from the living room where the tree is, just past the hallway.  She raises an eyebrow.  You just grin at her and motion for her to keep walking.  You linger back, not wanting to ruin anything, but you know she sees it because you hear her gasp a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thor?  What is this?” she asks, though there’s less confusion in her voice now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You creep up to the edge of the room so you can watch.  Darcy already has her camera out and is in position to take pictures.  Jane only has eyes for Thor though.  He and Loki really had outdone themselves.  The room is lit by the glow of all the fairy lights, and a table is set up with a small dinner laid out just for the two of them, candles lit and everything.  Thor for his part is dressed nicely, in something other than the hoodie he’s so fond of.  You watch from the doorway, Loki resting his chin on the top of your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jane,” Thor says, clearing his throat.  He moves more to the middle of the room.  “For a long time now, you have made me so happy.  You’re knowledge of science and of the universe is outstanding, and you balance me in ways I didn’t know I needed balancing.  I’ve tried to think of a future without you, and every time I try, my mind goes blank because I can’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gets down on his knees and pulls out the ring box.  Jane covers her mouth with her hand and you can see her eyes glisten a bit in the light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you marry me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anticipation is killing you, and you shift your weight nervously from one foot to the other.  Loki tightens his arms around you just a tiny bit and you force yourself to settle.  Jane swallows, and you can hear all the emotions going through her in her voice as she gives her answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy squeals and keeps snapping pictures, and you fight your own happy tears as you watch Thor slip the engagement ring on her finger.  You’re so happy for her, and when she and Thor embrace, the amount of love between them is palpable.  Loki kisses the top of your head and when you look up, he has a soft smile on his face.  For all their differences and disagreements and falling outs over the centuries, you can see in his face that he is truly happy for his brother.  You let yourself have a small private smile at it and then acknowledge the slight feeling of longing you have as you watch the happy couple before you, before moving to congratulate both of them.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today's chapter!<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts and feedback. This story is a blast to write and share, and I'm so glad you're all here with me!<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>I know it's Sunday and not Wednesday, but something has popped up that requires me to be out of time for the week. I don't think I'm going to have time to update during the week, so you get the chapter early! <br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Christmas is a quiet affair, the excitement from the day before carrying into the morning of.  Gifts are exchanged, and you’re grateful that no one got you anything too extravagant.  Your own gifts are simple - you made artwork for everyone, paintings of things you discovered they liked over time, then framed them.  For Jane, a painting of the galaxies.  For Thor, it’s shades of red and gold around his hammer, while Darcy got a sparkly painting of a fantasy scape.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki though...he was a little harder to paint for, but ultimately you went with your gut and painted him a flowing garden; he had told you once, one late night over tea, about his mother’s gardens.  While you could only imagine what the palace gardens must look like, you hadn’t missed the way he seemed to admire the roses framing the yard.You must have hit your mark, as his green eyes shine when he opens it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gifts you receive are perfect.  Darcy and Jane went in together to get you a new set of paints and canvases, the same paints you had been admiring in the store not that long ago.  Already your fingers ache to try them out.  Thor gifts you a small blade so that “Loki can teach you how to use it” and you won’t be defenseless.  It’s a pretty knife, you have to admit, a dagger with a solid carved handle.  You hold it in your hand, trying to get used to how it feels, not entirely sure that you’re going to ever need to use it.  Loki just grins at you across the room; maybe you should take him up on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last gift you get is from Loki and it brings tears to your eyes.  It’s a delicate necklace, a simple silver chain with a small heart made out of emerald stone.  It’s the nicest piece of jewelry you’ve ever owned.  You run your finger along the cool surface of the gem, and try not to fret about how much it might have cost.  Loki pulls it out of the box and you turn so that he can drape it around your neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because you hold my heart,” he whispers in your ear as he helps you clasp it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And you hold his heart because he trusts you, you realize.  He trusts you aren’t going to hurt him, he trusts that you will be in his life.  Much in the same way, he holds your heart too now, and you try not to think of how it would break it should he ever tell you to leave.  That’s where your own trust comes in, you decide; the trust that he’ll always want you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is so new and you marvel at it.  Every ex you’ve ever had has never made you feel this way, like your heart is going to burst from your chest with happiness, like your skin is on fire where his fingers touch it.  There’s longing mingled with contentment, and word comes to mind, but you’re afraid to acknowledge it, afraid to go there.  Your heart can be crushed, after all, and while you know Loki won’t, it’s still hard to wrap your head around.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are no words to thank him enough for trusting you with his heart.  You turn once the necklace is closed instead, and reach up on tiptoes to press your lips to his.  He kisses you eagerly for a moment, until Darcy whistles; you both pull back and you grin a little sheepishly.  Loki merely tucks some hair behind your ear and then takes your hand, pulling you to the couch to sit beside him.  The rest of the day passes in contentment and joy, and you hope your mom can see how happy you are, wherever she might be.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****************************************</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you walk into Loki’s room, you hold a stack of business cards in your hand and grin at him.  He takes one and flips it over in his hand, face thoughtful.  They’re fairly simple, the background an image of one of your favorite watercolor paintings that you’ve made - a golden waterfall surrounded by trees in hazy afternoon light.  The name of your shop is embossed along the front of the card over the image, with all your information on the back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> It’s two days after Christmas and you’ve spent the day out and about, trying to get stuff done for your shop.  More and more people are ordering prints and originals from your shop and you’ve even gotten a small commission from one person.  You made the decision to up the professionalism,  in hopes of getting perhaps even more business.  The dream still hasn’t left, that urge to be self sufficient as an artist.  Yes, SHIELD pays decently and gives you this place to live in exchange for the little bit of help you do, but that’s not what you want to do forever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> You’re pretty pleased with how the business cards turned out; now you just need to figure out how to distribute them for the best possible outcome.  You’ve already decided on a few community boards at the local diner and the local coffee shop, but maybe you should try elsewhere too?  You really aren’t sure how to self market, but you’re slowly getting better at it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“These are very well done,” Loki tells you with his own grin, handing you the card back.  “Very professional.  Your sales will greatly improve with these, I’m sure of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks!” you tell him happily, settling on the bed next to him.  “I’m pretty excited about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki gives you a fond look, then brings his hand up to run through a strand of your hair.  He twists it around his finger before tucking it behind your ear.  You lean forward and tilt your head up.  He takes the hint, giving you a brief smirk before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours.  It’s a sweet kiss, a little hungry and filled with something warm and soft.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You whine a little when he parts your lips to slip inside, and he swallows the sound hungrily.  You move on your knees so that you’re straddling his lap, and run your hands through his dark hair, knotting the strands around your fingers.  His hands move beneath your shirt to rest along the skin of your back, cool and pleasant.  You roll your hips against his growing desire.  He breaks the kiss long enough to pull back and peel your shirt off.  You shiver a bit, both out of desire and out of the chilliness of the room because even now, with snow on the ground, his window is open an inch.  Loki begins to trail hot, open mouthed kisses down your neck, pausing at your collar bone.  He seals his lips around your skin and sucks, hard, making you let out a whine.  You feel him grin against his skin, but still he doesn’t relent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just when things are starting to get good, a loud pounding on the door causes you to break apart.  You pull back from him with a huff, and Loki groans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why does this always happen?” you ask, trying to catch your breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Loki grinds out as the loud pounding hammers against the door again.  He scoops you off his lap, then looks at you with smouldering eyes.  “We are not finished, and I mean it this time.  Stay there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” you say with a mock salute and he snickers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You toss your shirt back on, just in case, while he walks across the room.  The door opens to reveal a very flustered looking Thor, already dressed in his armor.  That’s never a good sign and your stomach drops a little nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Emergency call from the Avengers,” he says in a rush.  “We need to go.  They’ll be here shortly with the jet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And it couldn’t wait,” Loki mutters.  “What is it this time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A Hydra base has been found, and we need to take it out before they release some weapon,” Thor explains, his own face creased.  “If it wasn’t incredibly urgent, we would have had some more time to prepare.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki turns to you and frowns.  You move over to him and wrap your arms around his waist.  He kisses the top of your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long will you be gone?” you ask, not happy with how small your voice sounds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thor strokes his beard, face still creased and serious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do not know,” he tells you before turning to his brother.  “We need to get ready to leave though.  I promise, we will be back as soon as we can.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod.  Loki dips down and kisses you once more, and you swear you can feel it almost all the way to your toes.  You look at him with worry in your face; his eyes are still dark, and in them you can see a promise of what is to come when he gets back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll keep you as informed as I can,” he tells you gently, running his fingers through your hair one last time and kissing your forehead before stepping away.  There’s a flash of light, and he’s in his armor as well.  He nods to Thor.  “Let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You follow them into the living room, then watch as they leave, a hollow ache in your chest.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>I hope you enjoyed it!<br/>As always, your comments and feedback make my day and I love hearing how you're enjoying!<br/>See you in a week and a half!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>Oh my gosh, did you guys all see the trailer for the Loki show? I may have watched it at least ten times....<br/>Anyway, here is the next chapter! <br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s New Year’s eve and Thor and Loki still aren’t back.  You’ve tried not to worry, you really have, but it’s been radio silence from both of them.  Even Jane hasn’t heard from Thor, and you can tell that it’s starting to get to her as well.  She hides it pretty well though, and you try to be like her.  Note typing has taken on a slightly neurotic tone, with Jane working herself to the edge of sleep and Darcy trying to just make sure everyone is at least eating.  In between things, you spend your sleepless nights painting.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s strange how used you’ve become to sleeping in Loki’s bed with him.  Your room is too quiet, too empty without him.  The painting you’ve been working on has helped keep your mind off it; it’s filled with blues and greens and other calming colors splashed along a canvas.  You muse that maybe you should paint like this more, have more sleepless nights, because you’re really pleased with how it’s turning out as you channel your worry into it.  Turning on music helps a little; you can almost pretend that you’re not alone in the room as the melodies fill the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, a new level of distraction has also entered the picture: wedding planning.  That’s how the three of you are choosing to spend tonight.  Jane has wedding magazines spread across the table, and each of you are looking through a different one, trying to get a feel for colors and ideas.  You’ve never looked at wedding stuff before, assuming you would never get married and not knowing anyone (until now) who was getting married; you’re kind of baffled by how many different ideas and themes there can be for them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m actually a little nervous,” Jane confides as she taps her fingers on the coffee table for a moment.  “Thor wants the wedding to be in Asgard.  What am I supposed to do?  Am I supposed to plan for a wedding here too?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could always go for a courthouse wedding here if you wanted one on Earth,” Darcy suggests and you nod in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, aim for something simple if you’re going to do that,” you say.  “I mean, if royal weddings there are anything like royal weddings here, simple might save you some stress.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Jane says with a sigh.  “I love Thor, but the idea of being surrounded by literal gods and goddesses makes me nervous.  Asgard is lovely, though.  I just have no idea what to expect.  At least with my science, I have a good idea of what I can control.  This...feels like it’s almost completely out of my control.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of pressure,” you sympathize.  “I can’t even imagine going off planet to begin with, let alone to have a wedding with royalty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy snickers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you should consider the idea,” she suggests, elbowing you in the side.  “You know, if you and a certain someone get really serious.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort and roll your eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” you tell her.  “Like that’s going to happen.  I’m not even convinced this is more than a ‘I like you in a casual way’ thing, let alone that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane fidgets her fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like gods take these things fairly seriously,” she says quietly.  “At least, Thor did.  And does.  And oh my god, I can’t believe I’m getting married.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so excited for you,” you tell her with a grin.  “Once the wedding is over, you get all the perks too, like shared insurance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooo, do gods even have insurance?” Darcy pipes up.  “You should really ask Thor about that one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jane sighs and buries her face in her hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No Darcy, I think I’m the only one who has insurance,” she says with a laugh as she drops her hands again.  “I don’t think it matters too much.  Their society is different from ours just over all, I highly doubt insurance is a thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’ll be a princess!” Darcy declares suddenly.  “How did I only just realize that??  You’ll be in line to eventually become queen!  Oh my god Jane, you’ll be a scientist queen in another world!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought hadn’t even dawned on you, but it’s true.  With Thor being a prince and next in line for the throne, Jane would become royalty and be Asgard’s new princess and future queen.  And if she were to take the apple when Thor offers it, then she would be able to rule with him for a really long time.  The whole thing makes your head spin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hits you then for possibly the first time that you’re involved with an alien prince.  Loki may not be in line for the crown, and he may be serving repentance here on Earth for whatever crimes the Allfather deemed him capable of, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he is still a prince.  He’s still considered nobility among his people, regardless if that carries any weight here or not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> And what are you compared to him?  The thought nags at the back of your mind.  You’re just you, a girl from basically nothing with a dead mother and dreams that are always just a touch out of reach.  Also a mortal on top of that, with all that comes with it, good or bad.  You shake your head to pull yourself away from that line of thinking.  Going down that dark path will do nothing for you, you remind yourself.  Loki sees something in you that he likes, otherwise he wouldn’t bother with you.  He’s not the kind of person to do something he doesn’t want to do.  That’s just how he is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need a drink,” Jane mutters, pulling you from your thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Darcy laughs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s New Year’s Eve,” she says over her shoulder as she gets up to grab something out of the fridge.  “Might as well celebrate early.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She comes back with a bottle of sparkling wine you had bought from the grocery store - it’s a cheap brand, but good, and you more than happily take a glass of it from her.  Jane takes a sip, then sighs.  She closes the magazine she had been looking at and moves to settle on the couch.  You and Darcy join her, Darcy in the middle and you on the other end, and you flip on the TV.  A television special plays as the three of you watch, a little countdown clock in the corner of the screen.  It’s nearly midnight and for once you actually have someone to kiss for it; figures that he isn’t here.  You glance at your phone out of habit at this point knowing there isn’t anything there, but you still can’t help but feel the little sting at the blank screen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m really glad I have both of you,” Jane says after a bit, and there’s a small smile on her face as she looks at you and Darcy.  “No matter how this goes, I want both of you there.  I mean it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well duh.  Someone’s gotta keep you from working on your wedding day,” Darcy jokes and Jane laughs a little.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The clock hits midnight and the three of you clink your glasses together in a cheers.  Outside, fireworks go off.  You pull out your phone again, and send a text to Loki, just on the off chance he’ll get it, wishing him a happy new year and telling him that you miss him.  After the three of you finish off the bottle of sparkling wine, you bid them goodnight and head to bed.  You still haven’t heard back from Loki but you didn’t expect to.  If anything, he probably won’t get the message until later, when he’s safe wherever he is.  You sigh to yourself once you’re in your pajamas. The new year will bring new things, you’re certain of it as you climb into your cold bed.  Now, if only Loki would get home safe.  You drift off to sleep, holding your phone and hoping for the best.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all!<br/>Thank you so much for reading! Sorry there wasn't any Loki in this one - he's off fighting the big bad but I can assure you he will be back soon.<br/>As always, your comments and feedback are welcome and loved, and I will see you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Here it is, the long anticipated smut scene! It’s a bit spicy, so you have been warned.<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s well into the early hours of the morning when you hear footsteps on the stairs and the shower turn on.  No one in their right mind would be taking a shower at - you glance at your clock - 4:32 in the morning.  It can only mean one thing: Loki and Thor are back.  Loki, you’ve come to learn, is incredibly fastidious about his hygiene, so you suspect that’s him in the shower.  You listen to the water run for a bit, dozing slightly.  When silence fills the air again, you sit up and stretch.  You’re just starting to debate whether you should go meet him in the hall or leave him alone when the door to your room opens.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki stands in your doorway, dark hair damp around his shoulders and the scent of soap wafting in around him confirming your suspicions that he was the one in the shower.  He’s only wearing a pair of boxer shorts, his pale chest bare.  You stand up to meet him, glancing him over for injuries as you cross the room.  He has a few shallow looking scrapes and a bruise starting to form on his side, but beyond that he looks okay, though perhaps a little tired.  You reach out before you can stop yourself, your fingers on his cool skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Welcome back.  I missed you,” you say simply, looking up at him, the words falling easily from your lips.  “Are you alright?  Was it bad?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I’m alright,” Loki says lowly, taking one of your hands and bringing it to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles.  “I missed you as well.  More than you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes you in with now dark eyes, exhaustion from a moment ago seeming to vanish as he looks at you very much like a predator does its prey.  It makes you shiver, but not in a bad way.  You wet your lips and swallow hard.  He looks as if he could consume you, and you find you’re not opposed to the idea. You take a step away from him even while he still holds your hand, and motion to the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you...like to stay?” you ask quietly.  “Or do you need to go to your own room?  What do you need?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s stupid, asking these questions and you know it.  Of course he wants to stay in here with you.  Why else would he come to your room at 4:30 in the morning?  Unless of course he just wanted to check in on you and let you know he’s back; but you’ve been sleeping in his bed almost every night since the tree decorating so...Loki reaches out and snakes an arm around you, pulling you flush against him.  Even now you can feel the start of his desire growing between you, and you do not pull back.  When you look back up at his face, his eyes have somehow grown even darker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need you,” is all he says before dipping down and capturing your lips with his own.  His kiss is not restrained as he forces your lips open and slips his tongue inside, tasting and exploring you as if he is starving.  You whimper and he swallows it hungrily, your hands reaching up to tangle in his dark locks as you kiss him back just as fiercely.  That fire burns in you, the one you’ve become all too familiar with over the past month, threatening to consume you, and you press yourself impossibly closer to him.  The door slams shut behind him as he starts to walk you back into the room towards your bed, one hand in your hair holding your head back, the other gripping you tightly to him even as his lips still crash against yours fervently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Loki pushes you down into the bed, you waste no time in rolling your hips up and against his growing erection.  He growls into your mouth before pulling back and placing hungry, hot open mouthed kisses along your jaw and down your throat.  One hand sneaks under your sleep shirt and creeps up while he sucks fiercely on your pulse point.  You know you’re going to have a mark, but the fact that he’s claiming you at last makes it so incredibly worth it.  He pulls back to check his work even as his thumb brushes over one of your nipples, making you squirm.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki gives a self satisfied smirk, then tugs your shirt up.  You sit up just enough to help him rid you of it, then whine when he kisses his way down your chest.  His lips on your skin somehow burn, and you arch up into him when he takes one the tip of one breast into his mouth.  His teeth and tongue worry the tender skin before he releases it and kisses his way across your chest to do the same to the other.  Your fingers are still tangled in his hair, urging him on as he kisses down the rest of your body.  His fingers hook around your sleep pants and tug them down with your panties, revealing you to him.  He takes his place between your legs and for a moment, he pauses.  The intensity in his face is overwhelming.  No one has ever looked at you like this before.  For a brief moment, you’re self conscious, but that fades when he speaks again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God you’re beautiful,” Loki all but breathes, and his breath against your wetness makes you shiver.  “And mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last part comes out as a possessive snarl before he starts to press hungry kisses to the inside of your thighs, nipping just on this side of painful.  You whimper underneath him, needing him to just touch you already, and he finally grants you some release.  His long, cool fingers trace you gently, parting you open and then slipping two fingers inside.  He feels so good and you moan, too lost in the sensation to be embarrassed by the other noises falling from your lips.  He moves his fingers inside you and you buck your hips.  His lips encase your swollen clit and he sucks; your fingers tighten in his hair and you’re sure it’s painful for him, but he just groans against you as if he’s pleased by it.  His other arm comes around and holds your hips down to the bed, his strength keeping you down even as you squirm and arch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You come harder and faster than you ever have in your life; the others before this were clearly amatures while Loki knows exactly what he’s doing.  You barely have time to catch your breath before he’s crawling up your body again, that predatory gleam still in his eye.  He kisses you hard, lips and teeth and tongue, and you can taste yourself on his lips along with the taste of him.  It’s overwhelming but in all the right ways.  He nips at your lower lip before taking it into his mouth and sucking for a moment.  When you turn your head to breathe, he doesn’t take his lips off your skin, choosing instead to close around your pulse point on the other side of your neck to make a matching mark to the first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You feel the tip of his weeping cock press against your entrance, and you open your legs impossibly wider.  Loki pauses for a moment at last and pulls back to look at you.  You can only imagine how you must look there, eyes wide and face flushed.  The faint pink along his cheekbones is delightful and you reach up to touch them with your fingers.  He’s lovely and some of that fire is out of him, now reduced to smulders that make you want him even more, as if that were possible.  He turns his head and kisses your wrist, teeth grazing the skin.  You’re pleased that he’s starting to breath a bit harder too, his chest rising and falling even as your heart races.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re amazing,” you breathe and he grins at you, that devilish grin, and you know you’re lost.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you’re mine,” Loki growls in response as he slides himself inside you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s thick and the way he fills you and stretches you causes you to lose your breath for a moment.  His hands come to cradle your face even as he lays with his weight between your body and his forearms.  His thumbs stroke over your cheeks gently, a stark contrast to the way he starts to move roughly inside you.  His hips meet yours as he sets a rhythm that soon has that familiar wave building in you again.  His lips crash against yours again and when you fall over the edge, he swallows your moans and cries.  It doesn’t take long for him to join you, his hips faltering against you, a low groan escaping his lips and rolling through his chest.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, the two of you stay like that, trying to catch your breath.  Eventually, Loki rolls over and pulls you with him.  You lay on your side and reach up to brush some of his hair off his face.  His cheeks are flushed still from exertion, but his eyes are no longer hungry and dark, but instead soft, expressive, open.  He lifts his hand and caresses your face; the stark contrast between this and the heat of what you just did makes your heart beat just a little faster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was...intense,” you whisper, voice a little unsteady still.  “Good...but a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki smirks at you, but then it falls away to something softer and more somber.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was...rough,” he tells you, voice low.  “The mission.  I wanted to contact you, but I just didn’t have the ability to.  We made it out, but just barely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was worried,” you confess and he leans forward to kiss your forehead; you let your eyes close.  “I could only imagine what was going on, if you were hurt...if you weren’t going to come back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll always come back to you,” he tells you, an echo of what he’s told you before.  “You have my word.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hum a response, already starting to fall asleep again.  Loki wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to his chest, resting his chin on top of your head.  He feels safe.  He feels like home.  You can’t place the feeling you have while you lie here in his arms, the warmth and security and the need for him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A word comes to your mind, startling you, but you don’t say it outloud; for now, it’s your secret as you let yourself sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed this. It was fun to write and I’ve really enjoyed the build up to here!<br/>As always, I love hearing what you think!<br/>See you next week,<br/>Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>Happy Wednesday! <br/>This chapter starts with some smut, but it's not super graphic, just a little morning love to get the plot moving. I can't believe we're already 27 chapters in!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You wake up to the cool winter sun trickling through your curtains.  You blink a few times; it feels very late, but when you turn to look at your clock, a strong arm around your middle keeps you from rolling over.  Before you have time to register that, you’re being pulled back against a firm, cool chest.  Loki nuzzles your neck with his nose and takes a deep breath, his fingers smoothing along the skin of your belly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of you have been sharing a bed off and on since that night by the Christmas tree, but you’ve always been clothed.  This morning you most definitely are not, and his hand on your bare skin makes you shiver but in the best way possible.  He kisses your shoulder then nibbles a bit on the skin there.  You laugh a little, just a breath if anything, and you can feel him smile against you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning,” he says in that rich voice of his, a little rough around the edges from sleep.  “Did you sleep well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I always sleep well with you,” you reply, your own smile on your face.  “Why do you think I do it so often?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki hums, then rolls you over so you’re on your back and he can see your face.  He’s beautiful like this, in the early light, his hair messy and around his face, that smile on his face - the one that’s both fond and somehow hungry.  He reaches over and strokes your face, his thumb trailing over your bottom lip.  You can’t stop yourself and kiss his thumb.  His eyes darken a bit and then he leans down and kisses you.  You’re not even worried about your morning breath as you kiss him back, figuring that if he cares, he’ll say something.  He doesn’t, instead deepening the kiss and rolling himself on top of you, your face cupped in his palms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You tangle your hands in his dark hair and whimper into him, and he responds enthusiastically.  You can feel his growing erection against you, and you arch into him.  You’ve never been with anyone who made you want to do this in the light of day, but with Loki, everything is different and you’re dying for him to touch you more than he is.  Loki seems just as eager.  He reaches down and hoists your leg over his before sliding into you in one long motion.  You whine at how full you feel, at the heat stretching you wide, and he grins against you. After giving you a moment or two to adjust, he begins to move. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re radiant in the light,” he murmurs against the skin of your neck, his thrusts falling into a languid rhythm that is so different from the hurried pace of last night.  “You’re so warm, and so beautiful, and so perfect.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s almost breathless as he speaks the last words, and the sincerity in his velvety voice causes you to burn.  He keeps up his words, breathing hard against you as he praises you, and the heat in your belly begins to grow.  You tug his hair and he takes the hint, kissing your cheek then your lips; when you tip over the edge, he swallows your cries almost greedily.  Without breaking the kiss, his hips stutter and then become frantic before he joins you.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki doesn’t move off you for a long time, instead content to keep kissing you as you catch your breath.  This kiss isn’t hurried or hard, but rather gentle and intimate.  The way he kisses you in this moment makes your heart flutter.  It’s as though he’s trying to memorize the way you taste, the shape of your lips, and you find yourself doing the same with him.  Your hands come up to run fingers over his sharp cheekbones, across the cool smoothness of his skin.  He breaks the kiss and turns to kiss your palm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beautiful,” he breathes again and you squirm under him, not used to this kind of praise or attention the morning after being intimate with someone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Most people don’t call me beautiful when I have bedhead,” you say with a quiet laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki rolls over and pulls you into him so that you’re cradled against his chest even as you look at him.  His eyes are soft and he brushes some of your hair from your face.  There’s something tender in the gesture, vulnerable almost.  That word from last night springs unbidden to your mind, and you swallow hard to keep it from saying it aloud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not most people,” he says with a bit of humor coloring hsi voice.  “I am a god, for one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“One for mischief and lies,” you tease back, your fingers spread over his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watches you a moment, something unreadable passing over his features.  He takes your hand and holds it in his, bringing it to his lips so that he can place a gentle kiss on your knuckles.  He then kisses your palm, the tips of your fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not to you,” he whispers, still holding your hand to his mouth.  “Never to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And you believe him.  Laying here in bed as the cold January sun drifts through your window and the blankets ruffled around your waist, your legs tangled with his, you believe him.  His eyes are wide and expressive, and in that moment you know he speaks the truth.  You want to tell him you understand, but your heart is too full, so instead you lean over and kiss him again.  A loud banging on your door causes you to pull away.  Loki lets out a frustrated groan and rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think if we ignore them, they’ll go away?” he asks, exasperated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno, maybe,” you say, really hoping whoever is on the other side of the door will assume you’re still asleep and leave you in peace.  You don’t have that kind of luck though.  Darcy’s voice comes muffled through the door, a little urgent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I know you guys are probably naked and whatever - which I’m trying very hard not to think about - but Jane got an emergency call from SHIELD and it’s important enough for us to have a family meeting in the living room, like, now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll be right there,” you call to her, then listen for her footsteps to walk away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t we just come back from an emergency?” Loki mutters, pulling away from you so you can sit up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You stretch and stand up, trying to ignore the way Loki’s eyes roam your body as you move to get dressed.  You toss a tee shirt on under a hoodie and your pajama pants.  It may be a “family meeting” kind of emergency, but you aren’t ready to give up the comfort of the morning just yet.  If it turns into a crisis or something, you’ll put jeans on.  Loki gets up and tugs on his shorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you did, but I guess government agencies are fickle,” you say with a shrug.  Loki makes his way to the door so he can go grab his own clothes, and you clear your throat.  “Uh, when it’s over though, I wouldn’t be opposed to spending the rest of the day in bed.  You did get home awfully early this morning and all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki gives you a wicked grin at that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose we could use more sleep,” he says, his tone incredibly suggestive, making your body clench pleasantly with anticipation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You watch him leave, then head down toward the living room.  Darcy, Jane, and Thor are already seated on the couch and chairs around the coffee table.  Jane is fidgeting with her fingers, while Darcy just looks annoyed more than anything.  When Thor sees you, he gives you a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Worry not, it is not grave news,” he says by way of greeting, and you smile back at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he’s not worried, perhaps you shouldn’t be either.  Then again, Thor is the kind of person that doesn’t worry about many things in general, and sometimes you wonder if maybe he should worry more.  Darcy looks at you and shakes your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like someone died,” she tells you with a half smile.  “I just needed you guys to get up so we can get this over with.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what is ‘this’ exactly?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki’s voice comes from behind you as he wraps arms around your waist.  Thor beams at you both and you can practically feel Loki roll his eyes, though when you look up, he has a small pleased smile playing at the corners of his lips.  Jane clears her throat, drawing your attention back to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“SHIELD decided that my research and help is better needed elsewhere, and after that recent HYDRA attack, they want Thor and Loki closer to base,” she says without much preamble.  “They’re relocating us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, we’re moving!” Darcy says, throwing her hands up.  “Yay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All of us?” you ask, your voice a little hesitant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You want to make sure you’re included in this, because the idea of leaving Loki physically hurts you, and also you really don’t want to have to find a new place to live on your own.  Loki must be thinking the same thing, as his arms tighten just slightly around your waist.  Darcy nods, that half smile still on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, all of us,” she tells you.  “That includes you as well.  Since you’ve had access to Jane’s notes, they’ve decided you know too much.  Plus, they want to keep the big bad god of chaos happy and you’re the key to that, at least in their minds.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort.  As if you’re the one keeping Loki sane; you don’t have that kind of power and find the idea laughable.  At least you won’t be left behind though, and that reassures you.  Loki presses a kiss to the top of your head before resting his chin on your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where exactly are we moving?” you ask, not sure you’re ready for the answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“New York,” Jane says matter of factly.  “We’re moving into the Avengers Tower.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Joy,” Loki mutters and you try not to laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well.  You knew moving in here would be an adventure; looks like the adventure keeps going, you decide.  Time to start packing.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun writing it.<br/>As always, I love hearing your thoughts on how the story is going.<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey Readers!<br/>How is it Wednesday already? I feel like I barely blinked since last chapter!<br/>Here is the next chapter of the story. I swear, it's not all smut all the time. This is the last bit of it for a while, actually.<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Packing has always kind of sucked, and this is no different.  Last time, when you moved into the house, you had about a week to get your stuff squared away.  SHIELD apparently operates on a tighter schedule.  You’ve got a turn around time of only a few days.  It would seem overwhelming, having to pack the whole house in that time, except apparently Tony Stark has sent people to help.  Your goal for the moment is to make sure you have everything you need for the short term, and they would get everything else and bring it by later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad I get to come with you guys,” you tell Loki as you work on packing your art supplies.  “For a moment there, I thought maybe I would be left behind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t let that happen,” Loki says quietly, coming around to wrap his arms around your waist and place a kiss on your neck.  “I would refuse to go if you couldn’t come, and I would like to see them try to make me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You turn your head and place a kiss on his lips before moving out of his grasp so you can work on packing up a set of canvases.  The room is mostly done, the boxes mostly filled. Cold winter sunlight pours through the window, illuminating the colors around you.  You take in the walls of the room, your eyes lingering on the heart flowers Loki had painted what feels like a lifetime ago.  You smile softly to yourself; how long had he felt that way, you wondered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you thinking?” Loki asks, coming around to look at the wall you’re staring at.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just that you’re really cute,” you tell him, then beam up at him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am not cute,” he mutters, though a smile threatens to curl the corners of his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are,” you say, still smiling.  You poke his side.  “I won’t tell anyone though, I know it’ll ruin your bad boy reputation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki rolls his eyes with a sigh, though he’s smiling for real this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m curious...how long did it take you to realize you like me?” you ask after a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki looks at you thoughtfully, then looks away.  You could almost swear he’s embarrassed by the question.  It’s rather cute, if you do say so yourself, further proving your point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shorter than I care to admit,” he says at last, still not quite looking at you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww,” you tease, then move around to give him a hug from behind.  “Well, the feeling is mutual.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki turns in your arms and gives you a proper hug, pulling you into his chest so he can rest his chin on the top of your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It scared me a bit at first,” he says softly, and you hear something vulnerable in his voice.  “But when you confronted me about avoiding you, I realized I couldn’t run any longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was just afraid to ruin our friendship,” you admit just as quietly.  “I was scared that if I said anything, you would laugh at me and then it would be awkward.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki chuckles and it vibrates through you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never,” he replies into your hair.  “But if you tell anyone I’ve gone soft, I will deny it until the end of time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snicker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you going to do, huh?” you tease.  “You can’t get rid of me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I suppose not,” he says, trying to sound exasperated, but when you look up, he’s got a playful grin on his face.  “I’ll have to get creative.  I have a few ideas…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes sparkle and you can’t help yourself.  You lean up on tiptoes and press your lips to his.  It’s like you can’t get enough of him.  The way he parts his lips for you and lets out a quiet groan tells you that he feels the same.  One of his hands tangles in your hair, the other gripping your hip so that you’re pressed impossibly closer to him.  You sigh and he swallows it happily.  You can feel his desire growing between you, pressed against you, and you pull back.  Loki grins at you, then lifts you up and tosses you on the bed.  He stretches over top you, his body firm against yours as you tilt your head for another kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do we have time for this?” you ask breathlessly, his hands starting to roam your body, making you squirm.  “I feel like I’m still supposed to be packing…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There will always be time for this,” he growls into your neck.  “Always.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His teeth sink into the tender skin where your neck and shoulder meet, making you groan.  You rock your hips up into his growing erection, your jeans creating friction that only makes you burn harder.  Quick work is made of your clothing, leaving you bare before Loki; he pulls back and looks at you hungrily, his eyes dark.  Part of you wants to hide from his gaze, but when he ascends on your body again with lips and teeth, that goes away.  You tangle your hands in his hair as he moves down your body, nipping and sucking and licking every inch of your exposed skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why am I the only one naked?” you whine as he settles between your legs, your hand still in his hair.  You’re struggling to keep a coherent line of thought.  “That hardly seems fair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My apologies,” Loki murmurs against the inside of your thigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a current of magic, a green shimmer, and then he is bare as well.  Your eyes greedily take in the sight of his bare chest and hips, before he licks a line against your core.  The sound that leaves your lips is a mix between a groan and a whimper, and it only seems to encourage him.  Your fingers in his hair urge him forward, and he pins your arching hips to the bed.  He nips and licks and sucks in all the right ways, and before you know it, you’re coming over the edge while he works you with lips and tongue and fingers.  You cry his name to the ceiling, trying to be quiet because you know everyone is awake and moving around the house.  For some reason, that knowledge only makes this even more erotic, the thought of having sex when everyone can hear you if you aren’t careful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki crawls up your body, a predatory gleam in his eyes, a wicked grin on his face.  You sigh as he kisses you again, your head spinning.  He nips your lower lip, sucking it into his mouth and you arch against him, your chest brushing his.  You can feel his erection press into you, heavy and warm, and for a second, you lose your breath.  Loki rests his head against your shoulder, giving you a moment to adjust to him, to the way he fills you so completely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, you’re so warm,” he murmurs into your skin.  “So tight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You feel really good,” you manage, and as he starts to rock against you, sliding in and out of you slowly, you whine again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loki worries the skin against your neck, sucking hard, marking you.  The knowledge that he wants everyone to know you’re his is heady enough in and of itself.  You dig your nails into his shoulders as he picks up the pace.  His thumb circles the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs, and before long, you’re fighting for breath.  He pants against you, whispering praise in your ear as he all but pounds into you, thrusts hard and heavy.  You can feel yourself on that edge again, and then you fall over, your body hot and pulsing as he keeps going, his hips stuttering against you in the best way possible.  When he joins, his seed spilling hot and thick inside you, he groans your name into your neck in a way that really shouldn’t be as sexy as it is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a while, two of you lay like that.  Loki grabs around your waist, still inside you, and rolls onto his side, pulling you with him.  He kisses you almost reverently.  The kiss is soft and sweet, and you happily kiss him back.  He pulls back, and his eyes are so soft.  He caresses your face gently, and you sigh happily.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Never gonna get sick of that,” you whisper, and he laughs </span> <span>quietly.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good, because I’m never going to stop,” he whispers back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The afternoon sunlight drifts further out the window as the two of you doze together.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today's update!<br/>I'm very pleased with this story so far, and I love hearing all your thoughts to it! It truly makes my day knowing you all are still enjoying it too.<br/>Next week I'm out of town, so look for the next chapter most likely this upcoming Sunday instead of Wednesday!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all!<br/>I know it’s not Wednesday but I’m out of town visiting a friend and we’re going camping this week, so you get a chapter early!<br/>Enjoy!<br/>~Birdie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The ride to the landing pad isn’t too bad, passed mostly in silence.  It’s dark out, the moon full, and you yawn.  The excitement of all of this kept you up last night, and between the stress of packing and the now present stress of leaving, you’re more than exhausted.  You’re also on edge a bit too, and it doesn’t help when you pull up to the quinjet.  The plane is military grade, dark and sleek, looming over you as you enter it.  It’s kind of sterile inside, though you aren’t entirely surprised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>What does surprise you is who is piloting.  A red headed woman stands by the cockpit, and you recognize her from the news as the Black Widow.  She nods at Loki once, and he returns the gesture.  You can tell there’s no real love here, but you’re not entirely surprised.  From the bits and pieces you’ve gathered from Loki and from the others, the Avengers are still fairly wary of Loki.  She then looks at you, and a small smile forms on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“You must be our new addition,,” she says, holding out a hand.  “I’m Natasha.  Welcome.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You shake her hand, her grip firm, then let Loki guide you to a seat.  Natasha moves into the cockpit while you get buckled in.  Your hands shake a little, causing you to fumble with the belt.  Loki ends up helping you secure yourself in the seat, his fingers lingering perhaps a little longer than necessary.  The engine starts up.  Your heart starts to race a bit and your palms get sweaty; flying has always scared you.  You tend to prefer cars, as there’s a level of control there and you don’t have to worry about plummeting to the ground should the engine give out.  You try to remind yourself that it’s really reinforced, being military and all, and that there’s no way you’re going to crash, but those words only go so far.  Loki picks up on your nerves as he settles in beside you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“What is it?” he asks gently, rubbing your hand with both of his in an effort to calm you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I’m nervous,” you admit quietly.  “Planes make me nervous.  I’ve only ridden in them a few times, but I don’t like them at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“It’s completely safe,” Loki says, pulling you into his side a bit.  “You have nothing to worry about, I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Yeah, but you’re also bullet proof,” you counter, heart still racing as the plane starts to move.  “If we crash, you’ll survive no problem.  I’m human, I don’t have that luxury.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki chuckles lowly in his chest and pulls you even closer.  Your head rests on his shoulder and he combs fingers through your hair.  He presses a kiss to your temple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I’ll protect you,” he whispers against you.  “No matter what.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Alright,” you say, holding his hand perhaps a little tighter as the jet hits a bit of turbulence.  “I trust you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You glance behind you.  Darcy has her headphones in and appears to be getting ready to nap.  Jane’s leaning on Thor, already dozing; it’s been a late night for all of you.  You doubt you’ll be getting any sleep though.  The plane is loud and there’s turbulence.  Every time the plane dips a bit or bounces, your hand tightens around Loki’s.  He doesn’t laugh at you.  If anything, he pulls you closer, his fingers of his free hand combing through your hair.  Faintly, over the sound of the engines, you hear him humming something.  You try to focus on that, and soon your eyes start to get heavy.  You wonder faintly if maybe Loki is doing some magic with the song, but that thought doesn’t last long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rest, love,” he tells you quietly.  “I’ve got you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You nod, your eyes slipping shut.  He keeps moving his fingers against your scalp while humming that otherworld melody, and soon you’re asleep, fears forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>********************************************************</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Holy shit, this is where you live when you come out here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>The suite of rooms you’re standing in are bigger than every apartment you’ve ever owned.  Loki chuckles while you explore around a bit.  There’s a kitchen and a living room filled with a plush couch and lamps and a flat screen TV.  A dining room is adjacent to that, with a beautiful wood table and a fancy light above it.  As you walk down the small hall, you find a bedroom with a bed so much bigger than any you’ve ever known, covered with satiny sheets.  The bathroom is also fancy, with a shower and a clawfoot tub.  You turn to Loki, face incredulous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“This is like...the nicest apartment I’ve ever seen in my life,” you tell him and he shakes his head with a fond smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Well, I suppose it makes up for the fact that you’ve been uprooted again, then,” he says, moving behind you to kiss the side of your neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Do we...like do I need to get a job to help pay rent here?” you ask, turning to look at him.  “I feel so weird that this is just...ours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki hums against you then pulls back.  He walks over to the large window in the living room that overlooks the street below.  When he turns back to you, his face is almost wistful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I suppose they’ll still have you type notes for Jane,” he says, tilting his head.  “However, I think my service with the Avengers more than makes up for us living here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You walk over to him and hug him, wrapping your arms around his middle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I guess that makes sense,” you tell him, looking up.  “As long as I get to stay with you, I’m content.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki hums, running his fingers through your hair before holding your chin with his thumb and forefinger.  He leans down and presses a kiss to your lips before pulling back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I have no intention of you being anywhere else but by my side,” he says thoughtfully and there’s something deeper in his voice that you can’t quite place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s like a promise of sorts almost.  Like he’s trying to tell you something more than just the surface words.  Something shifts uncomfortably in you though as you think about it.  It dawns on you again that he is going to live for a very, very long time, and you...well, you aren’t.  And if this becomes more serious than it already is, then that’s something both of you are going to have to deal with.  The sort of permanence he’s hinting at though makes your stomach flip pleasantly.  Here you are, going from one shitty boyfriend and then a life of isolation for a long time, to this relationship with a god who looks at you as if you’re the world.  It makes you so happy, happy enough to put the worry of aging out of your mind for now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” you say, offering a half smile.  “I don’t want to be anywhere else, so I guess that works out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki kisses you again, deeper this time, and you sigh against him.  His lips taste like a promise and you pray to whoever may hear you that this doesn’t go away.  He pulls you closer to him, holding you tight.  Everything feels right.  You want more, you want to feel his fingers on your skin, to trace his own so that you can commit it to memory.  Your fingers slide through his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly you pull away so you can let out a yawn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I’m sorry,” you apologize sheepishly, face warm.  “I guess I’m still tired.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki laughs quietly, still holding you tightly.  When you look at him, he has a fond smile on his face, his eyes soft.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“I imagine you’re probably jet lagged too,” he offers, moving away from you to take your hand.  “That’s a pretty common thing for Midgardians, if I am not mistaken?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Yeah...Do gods get jet lag?” you wonder aloud as he guides you to bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Not that I have experienced, no,” he tells you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>Loki raises an eyebrow at you while you strip for bed.  You crawl under the covers, the sheets softer than any you’ve ever been able to afford.  Having money and working for Tony Stark definitely has perks, you decide.  Loki slides into bed next to you, wrapping arms around you and spooning against your back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“How early do I have to be up tomorrow?” you ask, exhaustion bleeding into you.  The nap on the quinjet was fine, but now that you’re in a real bed, you feel like maybe you can sleep for ages.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Loki breathes against you, his nose nuzzling in your hair.  “I’ll get you up in time for whatever the day has in store for us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>You nod and close your eyes, letting yourself relax in his comfort, a peaceful sleep overtaking you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey Readers!<br/>I hope you enjoyed today’s chapter. As always, I love hearing what you think!<br/>See you next week!<br/>~Birdie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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